Ignoring the rules

Then I would do it (lock entire kitchen).  Lock the fridge/freezer with a chain and combination lock, then gather all other foods into one area to lock.  A Closet, cabinet, room, or even a huge tool box like goes in the back of a truck. Your bedroom would even work for everything that doesn’t go in the fridge.  Lock it up and then only have a small box with a lock in the kitchen with food for the day’s meals.  (I would fill that each morning before coming down from my bedroom).  What you are describing seems unfathomable to me and would require drastic changes until it is handled.  I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true.  Their world would change so fast they would wonder if they walked into the wrong house because it would look and be handled in a totally different way. 

Another random thought – an alternative would be to give each child a container/box of their own for the day’s food.  When it’s gone they’re done eating.  They would probably start telling who is stealing food if it comes out of their box, at least those over age 4 probably would.  Giving them a box that locks would also be a possibility.  In the end it may cause more problems though (hoarding food).  So I would not go this route probably, but wanted to toss it out there.

(((HUGS))) Sorry you’re still trying to find a way to handle this. 

One other thought I had: see if you can find a documentary about prison. It will probably be difficult to find something without language or violence, but even if they see some violence, it may prove beneficial. Explain to them that in the real world, stealing and lying have serious consequences, including prison if the behavior never stops. Let them see what prison looks like. Explain that that is what their future could look like if they continue with their current stealing and lying.

This is what I thought about it 3 months ago, and I think it still would work today:

“Whenever I start to feel like ‘nothing is working’ I have to take a step back and see if I have actually followed through on the consequences for a misbehavior. Usually, when I am frustrated it is because I have lectured, fussed and fumed at the kids…but I haven’t actually followed through with an action.

“Kids speak one language – ACTION. Get a few healthy snacks you feel comfortable with them having anytime, and have a family meeting. Spell out the food management of your household, along with the rules for cleaning up. Practically speaking, I would put the carbs out of reach in a very high cabinet until they have been re-trained in this. Even if they can reach it, you are probably going to hear about it if someone is climbing a ladder to get out food.

“The issue isn’t really food – it is that they are refusing to respect the rules about food. If they understand the rules and agree to them, then ‘sneaking’ food is a very clear sign that they not only disagree with the rule, but feel that they are justified in breaking rules that they don’t agree with. That is a habit that can seriously backfire later.”

I know that this level of management can be tough to follow through on, but it is a respect for you and for your family issue. Without that, practically nothing else works, you know?

Take action steps. If these don’t work, then take away the priveledges they DO care about until they make the decision to cut it out.

Prayers coming your way tonight.

I would also try hard to make sure this isn’t about food, it’s about obedience and honesty and responsibility.  They aren’t getting punished because of ‘the food’ but because they chose to break a family rule.  It’s a subtle difference (and maybe not that important?), but as a mom of a child with food issues related to growing up in an orphanage, we always have to make sure that the punishment isn’t because he ate the food, but to his disobedience to the rule, etc.  And that is also why we always have fruit/veggie snacks available…we understand the emotional need to know he’ll be able to eat if he’s hungry.