60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
‘I Was a Better Mother Before the Internet’
- This topic has 37 replies, 20 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 9 months ago by
.
- Posts
live2inspire, you said ~ “I can’t fret about missing some good advice/wisdom – I must trust that I will be led to it when I need it”
I’m reminded of Jesus’ words in John 14:26 “….But the Councelor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you….”
I too have been fearful, that if I stop confiding in the internet, I will either forget some really good advice or miss out on gaining some.
However, the truth is; If there is advice out there that the Lord sees as utmost importance to our family, then He will remind us and/or show us. Also, He will give us wisdom which will be far superior to any links out there.
I too get “click” happy and its just one more “link” to check out that gets me. You are certainly not alone in this. What also helps me, is to shut the computer down completely at certain times of the day.
Thanks for posting this topic!
Blessings,
Heather
Ladies,
I am amazed and blessed by this discussion and the candidness of everyone here. What honesty and transparency and humility I am seeing. I don’t have time to post right now, but I struggle with this and am watching and praying about this discussion and this article. Thank you so much to everyone.
Christine
Hmmmm . . . What an interesting, outright discussion. Yes, the internet can “get away with me.” I’m beginning to think that my focus for this year is in one word: ~Moderation~ Or as someone else alluded to, self-control. For me this goes in all areas of my life – food, internet and other things.
Setting a timer for so many minutes helps. Right now I’m watching the clock. When 10 minutes is up, then off I go. It’s not always easy, but if this is what I do for my kids, then why would I not do it for me?
I like the idea of shutting the computer down completely at certain times of the day. I’ve done that before, but I think I’ll start to implement that again. Thanks for the reminder, Heather.
Accountability – I’m wondering if I could be accountable somehow to my dh with this. A thought ~ Maybe some of you, who are wanting help, could be accountable to someone IRL?
Well, I see that my 10 minutes are up! I better go if I’m going to keep some sort of integrity.
Linda
Wow! This is so timely. I read Elizabeth’s article when it first came out and it convicted me right away. After hearing Sonya’s CD on Laying Down the Rails I realized that though I am good with self-discipline, I have almost no self control, at least towards the computer.
Just this weekend I sat before the Lord and sought Him about it. One thing I realized is that I need to treat the way that I cannot control my time on the computer as idolatry. No I don’t worship the computer, perse, but how I react when I’m interrupted from my time on the computer and how I can’t seem to stick to any plan to control my time has me in bondage.
I had 3 children 2 and under (twins) and survived for 2 years without the internet. I was so organized and on top of things. I wasn’t homeschooling, but life was more simple.
I started using the internet to research homeschooling. Then it fed a void of loneliness for me at home. It also becomes a way for me to escape my duties (to be totally honest). But it is a bottomless pit. I love to research, but there’s no end to the information on the internet. It’s like I’m looking for a magic formula, whether it’s a method or book or curriculum or plan, that will bring peace and order to my days. I will go to Christian blogs and see snippets of the best part of other’s days and wrack myself with guilt that my family isn’t like that. I see how neat everyone else’s home is and start to undervalue mine. Discontent breeds quickly.
So, after this weekend, I’ve resolved to not read blogs in the morning. The firstfruits of my day I want to give to God and seek Him only. I may check email (if there’s a field trip or if I’m waiting for a reply), but I will save blog time and board time for after I’ve taught all my kids. Besides it being a form of idolatry, for me, I also saw that there was unbelief at the root. I was not REALLY believing that God could help me just as well with an issue if I cried out to Him as if I posted the issue on a message board or searched blogs for it. I wasn’t really taking God at His Word that His grace would be sufficient. I realized that all the wise ladies that I really admire are ladies who have learned at the feet of Jesus from seeking Him alone. Why can’t I do that?
I get so sad that I am not doing these crafty things that others do. There’s just no time. The little free time I do have is on the internet. Last night I spent an hour on the internet looking for a pattern so that I could knit. I never got to my knitting! It’s so sad.
When I started blogging, I did it so that by capturing moments in my day and contemplating them, I could see that God was at work in my family too. My family looks so neat on my blog! But just recently, I posted my last post there. I decided to spend my time journaling in a journal rather than blog so to keep myself off the computer.
This is a heart issue, and I have found external controls (like the timer) just don’t work very well, for me at least. I have had someone to keep my accountable in the past and that was helpful. But you need to come to the place where God reveals to you what is driving your time on the internet. And what is underneath that? That’s the only way I’ve been able to be truly convicted about how harmful too much time here can be in my life. I have been soo humbled to realize that I have almost no power over my time on the internet. I have to lean on the Lord for it and guard my steps. I am so comforted to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I wish other bloggers were more honest about it.
In the trenches with ya!
Betty
No premature celebrating here, but I’m feeling a wee bit confident that I can beat this. I went ALL day without going on the internet (other than to print a registration form for our upcoming homeschool conference – and I didn’t stray from there!!! 😀 ). I can’t tell you how many zillions of times my mind and body wanted to ease on over to the computer, but I said “no!” and an “all for You, Jesus”. It helped a great deal to offer it up to our Lord.
Throughout the day, I made my list that Rene suggested and, of course, you all are first 😉 — from here I have just three short (yeh – right…) things to take care of. How quickly time goes – I’ve only read the posts for today and already 30 minutes have passed!
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, because afterall, the first day always goes well – it’s the days that follow that make one fall. Please pray for me, as my prayers and heart go out to all who can relate to my pain.
I will continue to add to my pro’s/con’s list.
RENE: If you’re still following this thread, would you share how you remained up-to-date on what’s happening in the real world – when you were unplugged? We aren’t tv fans either, and the internet is where we go for information. Hmmm – I guess there’s the newspaper, right?
A thank you to all who have posted. I appreciate the openness, truly.
live2inspire, I listen to conservative talk radio here and there, but I keep up mainly through my husband. He drives a truck locally delivering supplies to printing companies and listens to the radio most of the time. Our evening conversations center on either the Bible or politics. LOL My mom has a tv and will often ask me if I’ve heard about some kind of breaking news. We do have a battery powered 2″ tv that we used during Hurricane Ike to keep up with what was going on, and to see when our power would be back on! We were without it for 12 days.
We’ve had internet access since 1995 or so. At that time I had a 5 year old and a 1 year old. OFten I felt like I was spending too much time on the net (which was a tiny place compared with now) and I would take a month or 6 weeks away. I simply decided not to go on for a period of time. I found that would really cure me of the popping-on-all-the-time syndrome I often had. The internet didn’t disappear during my self-imposed exile, and I often found things which had really held my attention were no longer of any interest.
When my children were very small & babies, I would get up early (5ish) and spend an hour on the internet every day. I continued that until about three years ago. I still get on first thing in the morning, but now I can get on in the afternoon (or early evening) when everyone else is occupied with quiet work or out of the house.
I also set aside time every spring to surf the net and find out what’s new out there as I prepare for the following year. I find that after spending the weekend looking around, I have no desire to get on for a while! LOL! Like the way having a big piece of cake cures a sweet tooth for a long while.
Rebecca (live2inspire),
I was thinking of you thismorning. Wondering how you’re doing and if you’re still checking in with us once in awhile? Hope all is well!
Blessings,
Heather
I just found this post today (chiming in late here…) This is a topic that has become very near and dear to my heart lately. I know the author of this article must have the same (or even greater) struggles as we do since she administrates the 4Real Learning board and a very active, full blog. It takes time on the internet to keep up with that.
For me, moderation is the key. I have slowly had my user name removed from all of my boards with the one exception of this board. It will be easy for me to read and keep up with just one board. I am up at 6:00 and usually spend my internet time in the morning hours when my children are still asleep.
I can’t imagine going no internet, but have found it to be very freeing limiting myself to one HSing board.
Nedra in So. CA
Well, I am still here (it’s so sweet of you to ask, Heather). 🙂
I met my Lenten promise (with God’s Grace) and since then I have been peeking in very quickly at what is being posted (some really great posts!). I haven’t posted because Renee hit on something very true – when I post, I find I do ‘checks’ far too many times throughout the day. I’ve been meaning to at least post an update, but haven’t gotten around to it (let’s just say I’ve learned to align my priorities better 🙂 ).
I have learned a great deal in the past month. I have learned that I can have control and can enjoy the best of both worlds – with the real world taking precedence ALWAYS – no exceptions. I have gained alot from a regularly scheduled ‘computer time’ and making a list of things I would like to check into beforehand. I have learned that I’m a stronger person than I gave myself credit for.
I have started reading Scripture again (it’s like falling in love all over again), have become more peaceful about our curriculum choices, and I no longer feel my children are ‘keeping me from what I have to do’ (as if the computer was more important!). As I said, I’ve prioritized things in the right order now. My guilt/sorrow has played a big part in keeping me from falling into the same traps.
I am so thankful to all the responses on my original post – it was through those responses that I was able to see things clearly.
So many of you are secretly treasured. The faith that exudes is heart-warming.
You are all in my prayers of Thanksgiving!
In our Precious Lord,
Rebecca
Oh, Rebecca, I was so happy to read your response thismorning and so glad that you’re doing well. Your forum name “Live2Inspire” fits you well. I feel so encouraged and “INSPIRED” by you, dear friend.
May you continue to grow in His Grace and Love!
HUGS,
Heather
PS.
Nedra, you’re so right “moderation is key”. I’ve been trying to find that happy-moderation-balance in my own life too! Blessings to you.
Thank you “live2inspire” for starting this post.
I have also taken a break from being on the computer so much…and have been much more productive and my children don’t seem to “bother” me as much…could it be that I am now focusing on them instead of focusing on “my desire” to be on the computer. I think moderation is the key!!
Thanks to everyone who posted to encourage moderation. 🙂
Shelly
Hi there! I wrote that post. Actually, Nedra, I’m not an administrator at the 4Real boards. I founded the boards but stepped away from administration in fall 2007, leaving the boards to a very capable, wonderful group of moderators.Since then, there have been times that I’ve gone months without posting at all, and even months without reading. I wrote a followup to the post that you all are discussing. You can read it here: http://ebeth.typepad.com/reallearning/2008/08/time-online-rev.html
I’ve posted occasionally to message boards since writing the second post (I’m here, huh?), but I guard my time with all my heart.
Shortly after I wrote the post I linked above, I ended up on pregnancy bedrest with potentially lethal complications. This further refined my vision, as you might imagine, and I wrote about that here: http://ebeth.typepad.com/reallearning/2008/12/lessons-learned.html
I think it’s good to think about these things and periodically review what we’re doing with every precious moment God gives us.
Many blessings to you all this day!
Thanks for clearing that up, Elizabeth. That is wonderful that you have such capable helpers moderating!
I look forward to reading your articles linked above. I am a huge fan of your book. I administrate a quickly growing homeschooling group of 50 families. We have a ladies Book Bunch that meets monthly and have chosen your book to read together next fall.
Nedra
What a wonderful surprise, Elizabeth, to hear from you! I sure hope you don’t mind my having linked your blog here. The day I indirectly found your blog post, a long unanswered question that haunted my soul came to light. I meant to return to your blog for more eye-openers 😯 but during Lent, I kept true to my promise and limited my computer time significantly. Thank you for the follow-up post link. I found your ‘on-line friendships’ and ‘no posting to forums’ rules to ring true for me and those two points have actually been two of my main successes in spending less time on the computer. The other problem I’ve had is being drawn to the wealth of information on homeschooling (advice, curriculum, approaches, etc..). Ever since I got plugged in, I’ve found that we’ve accomplished less and I’ve been anxious in the material choices I’ve made – I wasn’t at peace because “there’s something funner, better, more CM’ish, more family oriented, etc….”. I was always looking at our homeschooling tomorrows. I was so immersed in these thoughts that I couldn’t concentrate on today, on the now – thus, accomplishing very little. I have overcome this (or at least recognized my problem and am determined not to let it continue). Your blog post, Elizabeth, helped in identifying my problem and the suggestions posted here in this thread helped me to really think these things out and recognize what my main issues were to tackle. I truly do feel more at peace….and I’m happy to have discovered that I *can* stay plugged, as long as I keep my priorities straight and live in today. I thank our Heavenly Father for all of you!
Peace to all,
Rebecca 😉
- The topic ‘‘I Was a Better Mother Before the Internet’’ is closed to new replies.