I have a wiggle worm

Hi – I’m jumping in a bit late to this topic – while I have no specific teaching suggestions I can relate to your daughter’s personalilty – because I have the same one! When i read “melancholy, artistic, reserved, perfectionist” I thought – hey! that’s me! So, here goes I hope this helps…. incidently I am also a first born 🙂 I don’t know what specific traits your daughter exhibits I’m just going describe myself maybe some insight into the brain of a melancholy will help. 

I am always, always THINKING. Even when I am quiet the wheels are always turning. i analyze things easily and can find connections between different topics with no trouble. I need to feed my mind literally – I love to read! Absolultely LOVE it! My mom told me once that I always loved books, even before I could read. (I don’t have much time to read now I have young children myself, but I sure do read a lot to them!) I am serious. I’ve been critized for not being able to have fun. I am a quiet person, I was very shy as a child – not as much now. As a kid I HATED being forced to talk or someone telling me that I should smile. (Not making a personality excuse for a bad additiudes here – but I really hated someone telling me to smile when I really was just fine!)

I like looking at beautiful things, art – photography, landscapes, colors etc. I am observant, I notice almost everything. I see details other people miss. I see colors, shapes etc that others don’t – proabably why can draw well. However, I can’t however drive without getting lost unless I have driven the same route several times. I need some time to myself. Too much noise, activity, or busyness can overwhelm me. Sometimes too many choices are difficult for me as well. Maybe because I am automaticlly processing so much I hit overload? In addition, I pick up new information fast, but I don’t necessarily retain it. I usually have to write it down, repeat it out loud or make some other connection with it to retain it, however once I do it’s there, I usually don’t lose it. (Take heart!) Also, being so visual means I can remember images for a long time. There are still scences from movies I saw a child that scared me that I remember perfectly. (don’t know if you’re daughter is like this or not – but one of my aunts who is a talented artist describes the same thing!) I am also sensitive not only about myself (which as been hard work to develop a thicker skin) but also sensitive to the feelings of other people. I want the people I’m with to be happy and I want to please those who are important to me.

While I am very good at long term planning and seeing the big picture I get bogged down easily when i hit a bump in the road and have a hard time finishing things. I can get frustrated when projects don’t turn out as I had imagined – I did this more as a kid than I do now.  I have always longed to be accepted, and often felt because I was not outgoing i somehow did not measure up. i also despertally wanted to be understood as a child.

Since she has always fidgeted – is this what she does to learn and process things especially new information? (It doesn’t necessarily mean she will always fidget – but did I ever doodle in school!) Maybe it’s helping her to retain things, maybe it’s not only learning but retaining as well (like I have to write it down etc.) If I am trying to please someone and the only way I know how isn’t working i give up. Sometimes shutting down is the only way I know how to deal with things. She may not be trying because she doesn’t know how else to try….

i hope some of this helps you – I think you’re on the right track with the idea that it’s your personalitities clashing – pretty opposite aren’t they? I agree that if you do what you can to understand your daughter it will make things easier – at least you’ll know where each of you is coming from! It’s amazing that you have the opprounity to help her not only learn to read, but grow as a person. Relating to others different from herself is something she’ll need to do her whole life. What better way for your daughter to learn to do this than in her own home with a mom who loves her! if I could say one last thing – maybe you could try taking her to the library with just you and spend some time finding books to read together for fun.