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Husband is a Little Concerned…
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Hey ya’ll,
We have an 8yo daughter who is marvelously creative, outgoing, friendly, and, in my husband’s words, “larger than life”. I’ve shared before that she’s a bit of a “sizzler” as Carol Barnier would say; she’s always been rather tactile in her learning and playing, is generally chewing on something, but I have never felt that she falls into the category of ADD, nor do I believe she has any learning disabilities (differences?), indeed, she’s quite brite-not “briliant”, just brite; she’s right where she should be, with the exception of reading, which I take responsibility for for the most part, and she’s improving steadily. She’s not socially awkward at all; in fact, she’s deligtful, and could make friends with a fence post. I’ve had people comment to me on how well she relates to children as well as adults, and especially how kind and patient she is with children with disabilities (especially things like Autism and the like). That being said, we have no support here, physically. I’ve said before, this forum is my support group. We haven’t found a church, and so we’re pretty much on our own. With the exception of my best friend’s little girl, our daughter really has no friends, although she gets along very well with her siblings, plays well with acquaintances, and rarely complains about not having a lot of friends. I perceive her as very well-adjusted, although, certainly, I’d like to provide more “social” outlets for her, and we’re working on it.
Here’s what concerns my husband: She talks to herself. Out loud. A lot. She’s done it since she could talk (did I mention she and her closest sibling are 4 1/2 years apart? So she had 4 1/2 years as a singleton)-even when we lived in another state, were involved in church, had friends we met with regularly, etc. I don’t think this is a “making up for lack of socialization thing” or a physiological issue, or even an emotional/mental issue- I think this is part of the way she internalizes things; she’ll often get up from hearing a read-aloud, lesson, or watching a movie, and go into another room and re-enact the whole story by herself. She has “conversations” with her favorite characters, playing the part of another character, or she’ll act out her own stories. Also, she thinks through things out loud. If she’s angry, she works it out with herself, but out loud, and not all the time. If she’s lost in “lala land”, she’s often lost there out loud (think Anne Shirley, but out loud-she’s always imagining something). I’m not worried about this- I think it’s just her. It doesn’t interfere with real life interactions, and, like I said, she’s in no way socially awkward.
I just thought I’d ask here if anyone else has experienced this, and what you might have to say.
Thanks ladies!
LillyLou
I have a 9 yr old Anne too. She is bright and shining, kindness, thoughtfulness, creative, and passionate. She does the talking out loud herself thing and I have never been concerned about it. I love to listen to her act out a story while jumping on the trampoline or sing her made up songs. She relates well to all ages and children are drawn to her. She is imaginative and lovely. The freeness of childhood still glows in her, unlike some girls her age at public school who are sadly loosing the battle to hang on to their childhood because the school yard is a different place these days. Our daughters would probably get on well. and part of it I know is who she is… Not a drama queen, just expressive. Not having met your daughter, and based upon what you wrote, I don’t hear any bells and whistles. She is a girl, she is verbal, she is bright. she sounds delightful. I am no professional, just a mother of a kindred spirit.
Hahahahaha! I just let my husband know all that I wrote, and it was like a lightbulb went off in his head. “Oh, tell your friends to disregard. I get it now.”
Our daughters are not normal. (PRAISE GOD) They have what I’ve seen a lot of children lose to society-childhood. I think that both of our girls have wonderful imaginations (draw constantly with stories attached, dress-ups, baby dolls, puppets…) and I believe that God has gifted our oldest with creativity. I also think that when she’s able to write better (comes with reading…) nothing will stop her pen. For right now, the stories all come out verbally, and she works things out verbally-you’ll never have to wonder what she thinks!
Guess we answered our own question LOL.
That being said, let’s change course here, and, just for a while, celebrate our children’s “delightful differences” and “give thanks in all things.” I dare ya.
Blessings,
LillyLou
Cedargirl-we were writing at the same time! I always love your posts, thanks for the feedback. And yes, sounds like our girls would be “bosom friends”.
This thread made me smile. Sounds like both your girls would be very good buddies with all my bubbly expressive FUN daughters who never have a dull day! 🙂
HAHAHA! Love it! My youngest is an “out loud thinker” as well. She is turning 5 in a day (YIKES!) and my husband and I often find ourselves belly laughing at the hilariously, expressive and detailed stories she “reads” to herself. She could look at almost any picture and make up a story to go with it, and she does…VERY LOUDLY! She gets so wrapped up in her story telling (with conversations between characters and voice inflection and detailed descriptions) that she starts speaking louder and louder the more involved and excited she gets. By the middle of the story, she is practically shouting! We have to tell her, often, that she needs to speak softer so others can fall asleep at bedtime! Hilarious!
Side note: my sister was a major self talker when she was a child and still is, actually. There is nothing wrong with this, it is absolutely charming!
Loved your descripion of your daughters, ladies! Thanks for making me smile!
-Miranda
I think you should get your girls writing letters to each other. One of my dd friends here ( and like you, she has very few) writes a story back and forth with a different friend. Mine isn’t into it at all, but finds it cool that her 2 friends can write back and forth to each other, each one contributing bits and pieces to an ongoing story. Hang on to the innocence ladies. I once had a mom tell me her 7 year old was “too old” for (gasp_ barbies!) I didn’t bother telling her my dd won’t ever be seeing them, never mind getting too ‘old’ for them…sheesh…
My youngest dd will be 5 on Friday (where does the time go?) and she has always talked to herself. In fact, her first word was her own name when she was 6 months old! She would say “La la la la Lily!” over and over again. She used to have “Barbie” friends whom we couldn’t see, but she would have audible converstaions with them all the time. She is very expressive and animated and can hardly speak without her using her hands and multiple facial expressions. Hearing her retell stories with different voices for different characters is such a hoot!
Like was stated above, let’s just enjoy the “childhood” in our children. Sadly, so many childen don’t get to have one.
That’s funny that you answered your own question. I like when that happens lol. The pen pal thing may work out in a bit when DD is more comfortable writing. I love to hear about childhood. It goes by so quickly.
I love it! Hearing about all these lovely girls has been so nice. I’m glad to know there are more “out there”. I love the idea of letters and stories, that would be so much fun, and I really think my daughter would love it. But, like Cedargirl said, it’ll probably have to wait another year or so for my daughter, until she’s more comfy writing. I’m going to contemplate the idea a bit, and see if I can come up with another “project” we could “host” between long distance kindred spirits. I’ll let you know what I come up with, then we’ll figure out how to do it keeping (of course) safety at the forefront. I’ll consult my safety expert (husband’s a cop-working on a degree in security managment with minors in anti-terrorism and emergency management; he’ll know how to go about it with the utmost safety for our girls).
Blessings, all! And let me know if YOU come up with anything…
I enjoyed reading this…my daughter talks some to herself as well…but she’s acting out stories, role-playing, problem solving, all the wonderful things little girls can do when they are playing on their own with a great imagination. I love to hear her games she plays. She plays well with neighbor children that come over – but when she is playing alone – her games are quite entertaining for my dh, her brothers and me! We love to giggle quietly in the other room. I think all these sweet little girls just have vivid imaginations and are probably just working out their role in the world around them.
Just had to chime in that my 13 ds talks outoud to himself, especially when he is play acting. He has a vivid imagination….always has….and it’s not unusual to see him sword fighting or lazer fighting and making sounds that go along with it.
He’s very into super heroes and made up his own super hero years ago and is learning to draw so he can put the stories into pictures. This young man just started his own lawn mowing business this summer. He is a protector of his siblings. He mumbles a bit but has no trouble expressing himself with others. He is 6’3″ and we call him “Gentle Giant”
In reading what ya’ll have posted I am encouraged to see how our children are free to be themselves. I love the innocence I still see in my son, even at age 13, and his not being bothered by peer pressure to conform to a certain behavior.
I just wanted to add that during my childhood years, especially between 9 and 12, I was the one doing the talking to myself thing. Typically, though, I would do it when I was off by myself. I think that was because I was rather shy, didn’t have very many friends (just a few acquaintances), and I was the youngest of 3 with 6.5 years between my older sister and me. I used to love finding special little places in or out of the house to be by myself and “think out loud.” We have a grassy place on the side of our house with two very tall lilac bushes at either end and a two-foot wall separating the place from our next door neighbors. I used to spend a lot of time there growing up, and my daughters do, too.
In that side yard, I was always reading a book or coming up with ideas to write one. Since growing up, I have always thought that the “talking out loud” thing was a by-product of my desire to write. (And I don’t really think I turned out to be under-socialized!) My 13yo dd has been doing this for several years, and she has been working on several short stories and a book over the past year. She has a few good friends, primarily homeschooled girls, and I’ve never been concerned about socialization with regards to her.
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