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How to make a CM lifestyle work for ALL of us?
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Hello, everyone. I have three young daughters, ages 7, 5, and 3. My oldest taught herself to read and write, and so, up to now, we haven’t pursued any kind of formal academics. I would like to get started in late summer with real, sit-down lessons in the basics, and although I’m planning to use a boxed, literature-based curriculum, I hope to incorporate many of CM’s methods into our days.
The problem is that I have no idea how to get ANY of us started. Honestly, other than bedtimes and meals, our days are pretty much go-with-the-flow. And it’s not working for me! None of us have good habits in place. I think that if I tried to sit my children down for lessons, they would revolt. Before I even attempt that, though, I know I need to focus on my own housekeeping and home education routines to get a good rhythm to our days.
Where do you recommend I begin? What should I read? What should I tackle first? I feel like I am so far behind the curve, I can’t even get the momentum to start something. HELP!
And thank you! 🙂
Since you have meals and bedtimes in place, it would seem easiest to start there. You could start by doing a particular set of chores right after breakfast (feeding pets, making beds,etc?). After lunch, have a storytime where you read aloud to the children. Talk about what you read. Some days you might suggest drawing their favorite part of the story or ask if one of them would like to retell the story. Have another storytime just before bedtime. (We always read a Bible storybook before bedtime when ours were younger)
When these transitions feel routine, you can add another element. After breakfast and chores, you could sing a song and work on some writing or some other short lesson. Eventually, you could add reading, math, read alouds, etc.
Take your time. Adding one thing at a time is much easier for you and less overwhelming for your children.
I also recommend going outside as much as possible. You could add this to your routine in the afternoon. Most children enjoy being outdoors and finding neat “stuff” to show mom- there’s your beginning nature study!
I relate!! Been there… Still there to a greater degree than I would like! I’ve read and enjoyed several things to help me with this. The one that had been the best help, most doable, for me over the long haul, is Large Family Logistics. I don’t know of you aspire to a large family, but it really doesn’t matter. The above is good for all and will certainly work fora small family too! It is written in easy bite sized chunks. I read the whole book one nursing at a time when my sixth child was born. It was given to me by my oldest daughter, then 18. This will help you with the housekeeping routines, rythm of life…
Then choose one habit. For me it was the morning routine in order to knock off several things at once! Work on it wholeheartedly until it is working for you without great effort, then add another.
I was just thinking about this today! I texted my friend and said “I have go to get a set breakfast time. Then chores, then play, and scho starting at a set time. I have an almost 6 dd, 4 da, and 16m old dd.
Our days have a set flow but no two days are every really the same. My plan is to have a set 7:30 breakfast time. School starting at 9, between the 2 will be chores and getting dressed. They can play once those things are done. That is my goal starting next week. I’ll probably just set alarms in my phone until we get the hang of the flow.
It is way easier for me to do read alouds during meals, just because the kids mouths are full and they are less likely to interrupt. Maybe you could start there?
I think you’re going to do splendidly! I would add these thoughts.
Life is short and precious. What seems like a crisis or urgent when they are young and starting out in schooling is not necessarily so and time will add perspective that’s impossible when you are in the midst of living a different stage. In fact each stage might bring on its own set of urgency and crisis … ha ha 🙂 and you’ll wish for the previous one! Not to minimalize the need for order, organization of home and life, or routines. I truly believe in all three of those as mantras for a happy, healthy life.
Anytime I meet a new mom and she doesn’t have a routine to her days … I’m flabbergasted! Routines bring order and order brings peace. Notice I’m not saying “schedules” because I can’t do those very well, but routines I’m an expert on! Routines aren’t schedules and if you look carefully your family may already have natural routines established. Chances are you just need or may want to tweak them a bit and make them very strong in order to keep your days flowing happily. Observe and see what you find?!
Great habits are key too. Charlotte Mason does not work in a house full of children who are lacking in the area of discipline and responsibility. Not that you suggested anything of the kind in your post. I think of good habits and a well disciplined house as a great foundation for the building that will go on top of it. That building is constructed with the CM methods. It would be much harder to experience success if the foundation is wobbly.
Which brings me to something you don’t hear as often …. Charlotte Mason is NOT about materials it is about METHODS. You could use anything almost and a lot of people on here use a wide variety of materials to accomplish a CM education. But many times the frustration and the “we can’t do this” comes from the fact that they adopted CM without realizing it is not about what book you choose and that it is entirely about what you do with that book.
Yes, yes … we all know the rules about twaddle and choosing books that are of high quality. But you’d be surprised to surf the forum and other CM forums to see the “This doesn’t work!” posts about how that one great book isn’t producing the expected outcome. Nine times out of ten it is because the METHOD used with book isn’t CM at all. I’ve done this myself countless times over the years. You’d think it’s a no brainer but apparently it is harder than it looks to accept. CM looks nothing like what most of us did as schooling and that is an enormous stumbling block to finding a solid understanding and implementation of CM.
Gotta run … but in short …
- take it slow, have fun
- read good books so that you understand Charlotte Mason and are sure it’s what will work for your family and for you
- understand the methods thoroughly (and this takes time, so no worries just dedicate yourself to the task)
- nurture yourself all along the way
Hope this helps in some way! Best of luck.
Whenever I’m feeling like our routines are off or things have disrupted our flow, I start again with my two most important areas. First, we need a good morning routine that gets us and our house ready for the day, (personal care, breakfast, bedroom and kitchen cleanup, and a plan for lunch and supper.) Second, we need a good spiritual base for the day, including time for Mom’s personal devotions and a family devotional (We sing a hymn, pray together, practice memory verses, and then personal scripture study while Mom reads aloud scripture stories to the youngest.) When these two things are in place, everything else is much easier. Even if the rest of the day is crazy, I know we’ve done the most important things.
After that foundation is laid, then I gradually add the most important subjects or activities back into our routine. I plan around meals. So after breakfast is morning routine, devotional, read alouds and skills (math, copywork, foreign language). Before lunch is outside time. After lunch is silent reading/narrating (aka quiet time), and then riches (art/music/poetry/nature study/etc.), personal projects, play, and more outside time. Before supper we tidy the house and then the kids get a bit of screen time.
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