How to Handle an Aggravator

I am sorry Amy that you are going through this.  I am especially sad to read about your husband’s job -that is a terrible stressor and puts burdens in place that little ones cannot understand.  I don’t really have the answers, but I will be praying for you.  I think you are all going to need tremendous patience with each other during this difficult time.  I am afraid that many people will be struggling with these things in the current economic climate, and it will be hard for many families, none of us are really immune.  Your four year old can only understand so much, and the disruptions may be making the problem worse.  Also if you and DH are worried, they will pick up on that and that won’t help either.  If you have the energy, perhaps working on the four year olds issues is where your energy should go.  Reward all his kind and good behavior with praise and encourage him to do those things.  When you feel your own anger rising, leave the room, or distract yourself, otherwise you will add to the issue – be firm in your disapproval of his bad behavior, but do not get angry – show your disapproval and do not give in to him – tell him his behavior is unkind and that it is not how things are going to be in your household.  Do be sure though to praise the good everytime – sometimes children just want our attention, and bad behavior often gets it – don’t fall into that trap.  Make sure your 6 year old feels secure and safe and loved – this would be hard enough without the pressure of losing a job -but is is very hard with that added burden.  I don’t know if any of this helps.  I do hope my prayers will though.  Bless you.  Linda