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how to bring the "joy" or "interest" back into our school and lives-
- This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 8 months ago by
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Hi there,
I think i must have done or been doing something wrong with our school. My kids talk about hating school and not even wanting to talk about it during the summer. It sounds like they dread the end of summer, even though they are bored right now. My oldest is 17 and has one more year of high school(last year she started by taking 1 community college course each semester) As we discussed courses for next year, she got tears in her eyes and said that she wants to take 2nd semester off-she is just tired of school.
I must admit somewher along the line, my vision was kinda lost when my oldest started high school and we started thinking about college. And then credits, grades, course descriptions, transcripts-all the hoops one must jump through. And as i look at all her worked all nicely tucked away in binders, what does it really matter anyway-especially if she doesnt care or is burned out? And really, i am NOT overly rigorous, especially when compared to some of my friends or those on the Well Trained Mind. In fact, sometimes I feel like we don’t do enough.
I truly don’t know what to do. I would love to just take a whole year off-well maybe not really. But something has to change!! Where is the balance between enough and not too much? And how to I go back to a more pure CM education with middle school and high school? I guess I really am lost and could use some advice.
Also, if I was to read the original volumes of CM, is it book 6 that I would read that pertains mostly to upper junior high and high school? And where would I find this?
Thanks for any replies.
carol
Without knowing details it’s hard to give specific advice, Carol. Two points come to mind to get the discussion started:
- Are you in the position where your daughter can have major input in designing her senior year? I’m not necessarily endorsing her having complete say over the whole thing, but can you work together to outline what the upcoming year might look like to help her reach her goals?
- One of the major factors in keeping joy in our schoolwork is when I consciously make the effort to include lots of variety in the subjects. It’s so easy to focus only on required courses during different seasons of life. Do you think this idea might be a part of the situation you’re facing now?
Thanks soyna;
Yes, last year, we consistently missed picture study, Tuesday Poetry, and other “fun” things. I just got so caught up in the academics of the schedule that at the end of the day, we were all tired and just wanted to be done. Something to do different next year is to put these either first, or right after lunch. Thanks for the reminder!
My 17 year old pretty much has a lot of say in her course schedule-at this point, I suggest what she could take and we talk about how that would all fit into a schedule. I think part of the problem is that she doesn’t know what she wants to do in college. She knows she wants to go to college, but doesn’t have much idea of an occupation at this point, I think it is hard to work when there is not a goal in sight. She has taken many interest inventory type of assessments but still doesn’t know. She is going on a mission trip to Romania in a few weeks and I am praying that this might make some impact, or help her clarify her goals.
I would love any other suggestions on how to instill the love for learning again…….
carol
Deciding at 17 what one wants to do for the rest of their lives in almost impossible. I do not know about the US, but here in Canada many people I know took a “gap” year between highschool and college/university. During that year they general worked at least part-time, and explored interests through volunteering or taking one or two interest courses at a local college or online. Some returned to high school part-time to upgrade a course that they didn’t do as well as they would have liked in, or one that they wanted to take but weren’t able to get into previously. Some of them were even able to spend part of the time travelling. All of those that did this had a much better idea of what they wanted to do in college and had much more success because unlike many of their fellow students they weren’t there for the party — they were there for a purpose.
In Canada college usually means a two year diploma program, often a trade, and is far less expensive than a four year University degree. Neither option can be considered cheap, and especially in the terms of a University degree, more people end up with a debt the size of a mortgage than something that actually translates into a career. Rushing a child to decide is a big mistake — I know because I allowed myself to be pushed into college by parents, teachers and guidence counsellors, hated the Program and have done nothing with it, but pay off the loan.
You are right, it is very hard to be motivated without a goal. I guess I’m saying, don’t be afraid to slow down and really look at the options. Maybe there is a way to let your daughter explore her interests more over the coming year. Her trip to Romainia might give her some insight, so might a summer job, or some time volunteering in another area of interest. You can get creative and include these things in her transcript I am sure.
My daughter, now 20, took a year off between high school and college. We are so glad she did! Even though she knew what she wanted to go into (cosmetology school) it was nice to just have that breather in-between. Frankly, I think many kids ought to do this! There is too much of a push to have it all figured out by 18 and know your path…hogwash! Some of us middle-aged adults are still working on this. That said, once my daughter did enter college last fall, she felt a bit more ready for it, though the ‘culture shock’ of beauty school is, well, shocking! During the year she was off, she worked for my husband, finished a few loose ends from high school, read books she was too busy to read during senior high, participated in church events more and eventually got hired on there for weekend work during her college term. It was so much more relaxed for her! And for us! What is the rush?
I have the same issues with junior and senior high students doing dual credit. I know many homeschooling families do it to save money, and that’s huge. But, on the other hand, 14 – 17yo on a college campus is a bit young. I don’t think they have the maturity to handle it. My 19yo son wanted to do dual credit, but we could not even afford that and grants are not available to pay for these. So, he waited, and I’m glad he did. He would have passed the courses without any trouble, but I don’t think he would have been able to handle the stress, etc. of it. (He is a math major.) Now he tells me he is glad he waited. 🙂
Every family is unique, these are just my own opinions! But, no one should feel guilty for waiting a bit for the college scene. It all comes so quickly….I miss the days when we were all gathered around and I was reading aloud to them, pregnant, and rocking a baby, lol. I am down to my last 2 of 6 and it just flew by!
Hi,T
Thank you everyone for your comments. They helped tremendously. Yes, i think I am going to encourage her to take a gap year, especially since we just found out we will most likely be moving across the country! We will be going from Wisconsin to New Mexico-so maybe not across the country, but pretty far away. She has enough credits to graduate now, so I think I am going to encourage her to graduate now and take a gap year. I am really excited about this idea-I hope she will be!!!
carol
There are some great posts here. I wanted to say that I’ve been dealing with a very similar situation with my 16-year-old daughter since the 8th grade (she is about to start 11th now). She was burned out. I didn’t discover CM until midway through her 9th grade, and didn’t really start it full-bore until 10th. She too is very negative about school and learning in general. The rest of my 4 kids, including her older brother, have thrived under these methods. I know she is responding somewhat because she doesn’t cry during school anymore (!!) but I too have wondered how to re-ignite her natural love of learning.
Short, varied lessons seem to help. I have switched out a book for her on more than one occasion, when she was really finding it a grind (even though her brother liked it just fine).
What seems to be helping more than anything is finding something that really lights her up and then making sure her schedule allows plenty of time to focus on that. In the past, that’s been art and drawing in particular. Just this last spring, she stumbled on an advertisement for One Year Adventure Novel, read more about it and fell in love. After more research, we bought it and let her start it early (it was supposed to be for next year). She loves it still, and is willing to work hard on it. Somehow it makes the rest of school more bearable for her, having something that she really loves.
I too would love to have her totally college-ready, and I know that’s important especially if they want to go to college. But I’ve had to let some things go and change my school plans some in order to “teach the child, not the curriculum.” We always have to do what we feel God is leading us to do, and that will look different for every child. And in the end, we need to have faith that they will do and be what God created them to do and be.
Here’s a personal example that I hope will be encouraging to you: my husband was homeschooled 8-12th grade in a jungle mission station. His parents did a great job, but they had none of the fancy textbooks and lab resources like we have now. He learned science, for example, but never took biology or chemistry or physics. When he came back to the States, he was accepted into a Christian university and needed both chemistry and physics for his major. Guess what? He struggled, especially in chemistry. But he worked hard and passed both courses, and was still able to maintain an academic scholarship. Today he still uses things he learned from those courses in his work as an aircraft mechanic, inspector and pilot.
Tara
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