How to break the habit of grumbling?

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  • April 4, 2012 at 4:55 am
    Alissa
    Member

    Has anyone got any ideas for breaking the habit of chronic grizzling in a 4 year old? She is a good girl, but a through and through perfectionist. When something doesn’t work just the way she wants she gets very worked up or just gumbles for the next hour. I am keen to tackle this the CM way and would be grateful for any suggestions for how to break the habit and replace it with a good one.

    April 4, 2012 at 1:01 pm
    TailorMade
    Participant

    I need to work on this myself. My children have picked up the same perfectionistic habits I’ve modeled over the years. I’ve been working on this recently. One thing I’m trying to do is focus on the positives instead if the negatives. I’m trying to keep “whatever” in mind. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8.

    Ex. Instead of saying that my 5yo should have been more careful with this/these “e’s” in a particular line of practice (if she’s doing that at the time,) I’ll ask her which is her favorite “e” and remark about how well she is coming along with her letter formation. All the rest may be a disaster, but helping her see the positive in the midst of the rest brings a smile to her face and she tries to write more that way. Same with copywork. “Look how many words you’ve copied exactly! You are becoming very careful about paying attention to details!). 🙂

    I used to be the exact opposite. No fun! The focus was more on how many weren’t done well, equally laziness, frustration, and disappointment. That “atmosphere” breeds grumbling. How is it possible to get better at anything if the focus is to find the bad example(s) all the time. I’m not saying you’ve done this type of thing with your child. I’ve always been hard on myself and ended up being hard on my older children, too. The goal wasn’t meanness. It was actually a twisted notion that it would effect change. Yes. It changed them into grumbly perfectionists. 🙁 But, with my willingness to see the problem came from me, I was able to talk to them, ask for forgiveness, and gather suggestions from them and Scripture to help us all in this area.

    It has meant a happier early education for our younger children. Mind you, we still have to keep our guard up. But, we know the steps for correction and work on the habit of encouragement now.

    Hth,

    Becca<><

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