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How long is your afternoon quiet time?
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Wings2fly, I think we need to start a whole new discussion on your aptly worded, “Fitting it all in”. This is the struggle in our home on many days and one of the main reasons we really don’t have a true QT every day for everyone. My older boys are just too set on wanting to stay in the school room area to finish their work, so that they are not still working at 5pm! Now, my 3 yr old does spend an hour or more every day in her room because we still call it nap time…and she is good about staying in her room, choosing on her own either to play quietly or to fall asleep. My 6 year old did fine doing QT when his older brothers were doing it, but now really struggles to spend the whole hour on his own, so I often use this time to do his grade one work with him.
To answer your question, in my house, when we did have a true quiet time for everyone, it was one solid hour where every person is alone in a room (any room…or even a hallway with cushions on the floor). Completely alone – doing nothing but reading or snoozing or praying or otherwise being silent. We are separated from one another, just to be alone and have the peaceful mind space that you only get from being alone and quiet, hearing nothing by the pages turning in a favourite non-school book, no one interrupting, no voices calling through the walls of the house. For me, I always saw it as a time were you could totally decompress; the purpose of the hour was to be able to regain some energy (and perhaps some perspective!) in order to keep the last hours of the day productive and happy.
We spend afternoons outside. I’d say my kids average 3 hrs a day outside. Chores are 30m in the morning when we wake up and 15-20 in the afternoon before dinner. We try to pick up as we go. After dinner clean-up depends, sometimes a walk or outside to play, sometimes indoor play or game, and sometimes just heading to bed after stories and devotions.
To answer one who asked what different ages do in quiet time:
Babies and young toddlers nap. 🙂
Older toddlers and nonreaders who no longer nap lay in bed with books to look at and I turn an audiobook on in the hall between bedrooms.
Readers can read or listen to the audiobook.
This year oldest is in 7th and so she may be allowed to move from her bed to a table for quiet time to do school work, but usually she has spent QT in bed reading for school or pleasure (the reading for school usually becomes a pleasure to read – hooray for living books!).
Where are kids in QT?
We have a 3 bedroom house and 8 kids. The 7 and 12yo are girls in their beds in one room. The 1yo boymay nap in there in his bed or nap in the crib in my bedroom if baby Samuel isn’t already asleep in the crib. The 5 and 8 yoo boys are in their beds in one room. The 4 and 2 yo boys are in the living room where I am, one on each couch. The 2yo naps (asleep within 5 minutes) and the 4yo stays awake on the couch with books or listening to the audio book. He has started transitioning to QT in his bed upstairs (same room as 5 and 8yo). He’s getting better at not getting up to play there. Right now he does half time downstairs and half upstairs. At our house it is a huge privelage to be upstairs in bed for QT so he is really excited he’s old enough to go up. 🙂
We have a 2-3 hour quiet time each afternoon for my DS4 and DD2. They both almost always nap. My husband leaves very early for work (before we wake) and doesn’t return home until 6pm so I really need that break. I usually catch up on email, read or nap during that time. I am pregnant so it helps me decompress and get ready for the last portion of the day. During the last bit of time, I usually prep everything for dinner (chop veggies, put meat on the pan, etc) and place it in the fridge so all I have to do is stick everything in the pan or oven.
We’ve always done naps consistently every day (even when on vacation) so my kids just don’t know any different. I hope we can continue some amount of quiet time as they grow older. I remember always having a rest time at summer camp when I was a child and I liked the alone time to write letters or read. My kids enjoy this alone time too. As someone in an earlier reply said, if they don’t get a break they are noticibly more irritable the rest of the evening.
“I want to add to Angelina’s questions of fitting it all in, but also outdoor time. How much time outside and how do you fit that in as well as 2 hour quiet time and get all school and chores done?
For the older kids who read during quiet time, is that their school assigned reading or personal reading?
What do you moms do for 2 hours while your children are in quiet time?”
@Wings2fly:
Charlotte actually recommended that all school work be over by 1pm, so you can see that if we were all abiding by that there would be plenty of time for QT, reading, outdoor time, etc…in the afternoon.
BUT – since most of us have little kids who need a nap in the afternoon, we have adapted our school schedule to get at least some of the older kids’ work done in the afternoon.
So, for my family, chores are done from 8-9am. Our desk work gets done from 9-11:30 in the morning, and then our reading time gets done from 1-2 or 2:30 in the afternoon. Part of that time, my 5yo is resting in his room. Independent reading happens during QT with 1 chapter from an assigned book, and then free reading from there. Our kids are outside mostly from 3-5 in the afternoon, and very often after supper, as well.
As for what we Moms DO with QT? As little as possible! I try to rest, read, catch up with friends, read the Bible and journal, drink a cup of coffee or tea and generally enjoy my own company (and the silence) for a while! And very often, of course, I find myself on this forum :).
I’ve always used an afternoon QT to rest, regroup, and encourage reading. I strive for an hour+. I have 2 very active noisy boys and this is my time of the day to quiet my mind and reenergize for the remainder of the day. My 13 yo uses this time for his additional reading and my reluctant 10 yo is getting there (we now call it reading time). As someone with fibromyalgia this was one way I could cope and refuel during their younger years. And this also helps attitudes when they get some time alone.
My youngest usually is in his bedroom and my oldest is usually in the LR. I even let my oldest have QT outside under the trees sometimes. This is the 1st year I let him try it since we have mountain lions and bears. He said he’s OK because David fought off a lion and a bear! I will say I don’t get much rest on those days!
Here’s a great article from Sally Clarkson that encouraged me to take care of myself while simultaneously helping develop good readers: http://www.itakejoy.com/rejuvenating-resta-mandate-from-godpart-1/
I agree about fitting it all in…each season of life is different. I’m in the process of trying to figure it out for the coming year. The long summer days make it easier to get outside, but this winter will need some adjusting. Maybe adding handicrafts to the afternoon QT? Habit training to get everything done timely is high on the list.
Thank you for discussing this, even though I am not the OP. “Habit training to get everything done timely is high on the list.” DITTO! I don’t know how you all get things done in a timely manner. I am working on it and trying to glean wisdom from here and there and you nice ladies. I am reading Large Family Logistics and it makes sense on paper. I almost have a monthly menu plan done and ready to start using. I need a chore system. Perhaps this is my season.
We do take an afternoon break after lunch and usually watch 30 min. of tv, Mister Rogers lately. I could have my 4th grader do his assigned reading then too and call it “quiet time” to stretch it to an hour. Much of the things many of you do are not the way I was raised or trained and I struggle to figure out how to do it all. I am considering some of the Teri Maxwell resources, but that is another topic. I really should start a new topic.
And I have read two of Sally Clarkson’s books this year and loved them, Treasure House.
We have an hour quiet time each day. I have two boys, 10 and 6. Our quiet time is a little different in that they are allowed to play quietly in separate rooms. Or they draw or read/look at books. My purpose is just to have time away from each other. We have a baby coming in October so I will schedule the olders quiet time during one of baby’s naps, hopefully.
Wings2fly, I agree, all of this is new to me as well. I don’t think any aspect of our family’s life is how I was brought up. I just keep immersing myself in Sally Clarkson, Charlotte Mason, SCM, and similar mentors and eventually some of it sinks in and just naturally becomes part of me and extends to my family. Don’t you just love how Sally lays out all the details so you can see a different picture and grasp how that could look in your family? It is a HUGE learning curve and I don’t get everything done, but I know in my heart we’re moving in the right direction…discipling. I feel I really get to understand how it all works and then my boys have moved onto another stage of life and I have to keep learning and striving. It sure keeps me close to my Father!
Don’t you just ask yourself, “why wasn’t I taught all these wonderful ways of living and learning”? I pray I’m able to pass a small amount of wisdom I’ve gained along the way onto younger moms and someday my grandchildren.
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