How do I relax?

Totally makes sense I am the exact same way.  I plan and need to know how, when and where I will be at all times.  BUT I had to learn to let go sometimes.  Change when needed and just keep moving forward in regard to school.  I know this isn’t helping I just don’t have a lot of time right now to go farther.  I love checklists, and seeing something done at the end of the day also

Can you just plan out the days and number them 1-180 and just check off each as you go?

And maybe plan on doing school a minimum number if days each month. Or say 8 out of 10 days of the school week. That way which day you are off is flexible but the days requirements are not.

I am the same way; I struggle with letting go, relaxing and being flexible! 

That being said, here are a few things that help me:

1) I type up our schedule each week, picking up where we left off last week. I don’t worry about what week the curriculum teacher’s manual says or how much we did or didn’t do last week; instead,  I focus on how many days we are actually doing work. For example, right now the teacher’s manual says we are in Week 20 but my schedule says we are on Week 22 so that’s what I count.  

2) I don’t know where you live, but here in CA there is no legally required number of days to school. So I don’t worry about it. I start off planning three terms of 12 weeks each so technically we schedule 36 weeks or 180 days. But life happens. Even in public school, students rarely go to school for 180 days. They get sick, have teacher work days, inclement weather days, pizza party days, PE athletic event days, etc. I don’t know exactly how many days public school students actually do work, but I guarantee it’s far below 180 days!

3) I have a good friend who was an elementary public school teacher for many years and she told me that most teachers rarely get through all the material they have planned for the year. This was very freeing for me and now even if we fall a few weeks behind from the teacher’s manual I don’t feel pressure to “catch up”. Especially in the elementary years, so much material like history and science is repeated later when they get older. 

I hope this was helpful! We are all works in progress! I’m still learning to let go but it’s getting easier with each passing year. So many things that we think are so important really aren’t. What are the real priorities for your family? If you and your children are making progress in that direction, then their education is successful. Don’t let a pre-determined set of “achievements by a certain age” rule your life. 🙂

–Leah

If you apply eawerner’s suggestion, you are ahead by a minimum of two days. 

But, I know what you mean.  I’m “behind” at this point on paper.  I am having to learn to keep my shoulders and neck “loose” instead of tight.  Those habits are especially detrimental after a wreck involving whiplash, btw.  UGH! 

A few things I’m trying to remember is to let my arms hang down, almost limp.  BREATHE!  (I’ve held my breath and kept my shoulders and neck tense for more years than I can count due to the very same reasons you’re dealing with at the moment.)  I’ve started reminding myself that I’m not facing physical giants, walls, or armies.  I’ve intimidated myself and been intimidated by others by setting unreasonable, sometimes unnecessary, or unrealistic goals for myself and my children.  I remind myself that God is right here with me, with us.  He knows the plans I’ve made, but sometimes He adjusts them to help us learn something He thinks is more important. 

I’ve always been a paper planner until this year when I started using the CMO.  I stepped away from the paper planner for a time, but that paper does “feel” more secure, more controlled….that happens to be a problem for me because I tend to freak, fret, or feel like I’ve lost my land legs without something to hold in my hands that says “This is going to be exceptional.”  But, that ends up destroying me if I can’t pull it off.  It ends up making me “see/think” I’m not able to pull it off, or NOT exceptional.  That’s not helpful because then I dwell on it.  Some might push harder to double up.  I used to when I was younger.  The longer I’ve homeschooled, the more challenges have cropped up and I haven’t had the energy/endurance to do that anymore. 

I really enjoyed reading eawerner’s perspective. I hope to have that perspective become automatic sooner rather than later.  It takes into account fruit, truth, and reality.  Instead of focussing on what hasn’t happened, look at what has been learned. 

For me, it’s been a serious matter of learning to say “no” to some subjects/activities, even history at times!  GASP! 

I don’t know how many children you have, or old they are, but if they are young, and if your state doesn’t require all sorts of subjects, taking time in the three Rs and habits will help you make up for lost time later down the road.  The children will be able to study on their own and learn all sorts of things you may feel you might miss now if you fall behind. 

I’m not saying to get lazy about it, but if you don’t learn to let God be your strength in homeschooling, you’ll run out of steam on your own and then you will find yourself truthfully behind because you won’t be able to follow through on much of anything due to exhaustion (I know from experience.)

You are likely planning too much.  Instead of planning a year, just plan a term, giving yourself room.  None of us learn as scheduled.  Math concepts might take longer to understand than planned.  You’ve already recognized this, I’m assuming from your post.  Revamp with a much simpler routine to begin to see what is being completed.  Then, add in things you miss studying and realize you can fit in without overwhelming everyone.  You might do just a few subjects and leave out the pretty CM extras.  Save them for off times and do a day of fine arts, or science experiments, or watch plays and documentaries that go along with the overall plan for the year. It will feel like time off because of the change of pace, but you will be able to “count” it and feel good about it while relaxing.

I hope some of these ideas help a bit.

If you are not using the CM Organizer I highly recommend it. It helps me from feeling overwhelmed by the numbers. If we miss a day it is okay. The organizer will not put more work on top of what is already there. It keeps up with what you get done on a daily basis.

Personally, one thing that keeps me from relaxing is the whole “I need 180 days” thing.  The sad fact is that, in PA, I DO need 180 days!!! (Despite the fact that the local school district’s calendar lists the 3 Act 80 days as students days and plainly says that the students are only in school for 177 days, not 180!!!)  Anyway, my hang-up happens when I think, “how will I prove this was a school day??” and “what can i put in my daughter’s notebook to show that she learned this?”.

Currently, I plan things a week in advance.  Well, 5 school days in advance, not a calendar week.  If we have a day that’s a “weird” day (that is to say, a day that does NOT include all the subjects I would like to do or have planned to do), I jot that down on a different piece of paper.  So I really have two “planners.”  The one that shows 5 un-dated, perfectly completed school days per page. (Not that our days are perfect, but sometimes we do actually complete most of what i want to complete.  i just check off what we’ve completed that day.) 

The “Weird” days planner is a blank spreadsheet  – 5 blocks across by 5 or 6 blocks down –  and then on our weird days, I jot in each square what “school-ish” thing we did.  (My oldest wrote 3 letters today – that was Lang. Arts; she did a math lesson; she did chores; she read independently; that’s 5 blocks, that’s 1 day done!).  I do NOT plan on turning either of my “planners” in to the Superintendent — I just use them to make me feel better.  I date the weird day planner as it happens….and sometimes, I fill in squares in advance.  For example, if we go on a field trip, that takes up a square or two, depending on length.  Some weeks, I feel like I need “days”, so I count Good News Club and the hour gym-time that she gets there.  So we’re way ahead as far as “Days” go, but behind as far as the curriculum are concerned.  (We’re on day 130-something out of our 180; but in history, we’re at lesson 90 and in Science, well, let’s not say where we are!)

Now, my biggest problem is learning to relax enough to not care about staying with the SCM Module 6 guide – and take a day’s History time to read library books on WWI, or to take the time from a Science lesson to draw the airplanes we were learning about.  I get so uptight about not getting every thing done…and yet I have scores of library books borrowed that I’m not reading to the littles, scores of ideas of things to draw in our nature journals / science section of our notebooks that I’m not doing because I feel guilty that I’m not finishing the curriculum.

That’s good to hear, Mama Nickles.  Thanks for the encouragement.  You know, I specifically chose to do our history as a 4-year rotation (instead of 6) because I wanted the repetition!  So, hopefully, even if we don’t get it all in this year, we’ll hit it again in the future.

I do feel guilty by times, remembering all hte hours I spent on the couch, reading to my first two daughters (now 9 and 8).  My third and fourth (ages 6 and 4) have heard far more chapter books than picture books! 

When other moms do projects, do you all spend just a short amount of time on it every day for several days? or do you spend a large chunk of time on it and just get it done in one or 2 days?