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Homeschooling wtih many and bad attitudes
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Hi All,
I am in need of help in several areas of our school and home.
I have 5 children boy(8), girl(6), boy(4), boy(2), boy(5months).
Currently doing school with the 8 and 6yr old. I am having such a hard time getting through the day, it feels like school takes all day and I would love to be done by lunch time. We just have too many interruptions from the younger three. I know we should be taking it easy since we have a new baby, but I feel like we have been taking it easy for years due to always being pregnant or having a baby. We are currently doing a schedule of 6wks on, 1wk off and we are into our 4wk now. I love the CM way of educating, but not so sure my oldest son likes it. He is a smart kid who learned to read early and excelled in math quickly. We did not start out the CM way but have been incorporating it this past year or so. He is very social and would love to have friends over all the time. He balks at school all the time and he will do the work, but not without a bad attitude because I make him stop playing or whatever it may be to start school. He constantly says school is boring. I can’t blame him, it’s been a lot of reading, a few activities, but my time is very limited and I feel like he isn’t getting to do anything that he truly enjoys (not that I know what that would be). I am told that boys at this age go through this kind of phase where everything is boring or everything feels like the end of the world to them or nothing works for them and this is how I describe my son, he just doesn’t seem happy. It makes me question whether school would be better for him, even though I don’t think I could ever put him in school, I don’t think it would really be better.
I feel we need to work on habits tremendously, but I am finding it hard to be consistent when I am nursing a baby or putting the baby to sleep and my attention cannot be where it needs to be all the time.
I sorry that I am rambling so much and this post is probably not making much sense. I am just sad with how things are going. Homeschooling is not like I thought it would be. I get so tired of reading how much others and their children love homeschool and their children love to read (my son does not). I feel like things are too boring for him, he just doesn’t like the classical writings I suppose, hates copywork, math is ok (switched to math mammoth from singapore), etc, etc. I thought I would have this joy with our homeschooling, but it’s starting to turn to dread and I try to be excited about it, but I think the kids can tell it’s just something we are trying to check off our list to do of things for the day, not a joy for learning that I always hoped for.
Well I must go, the baby woke up. Thanks for listening, it helped me to type some of this frustration out.
-Crystal
Hi Crystal,
I am sorry to hear of your frustrations. I have had them also. I know what you mean about always having a baby – we have eight children: 12,11,9,7,6,4,2, and 11 months. It isn’t as easy to treat it as a season when it never seems to end! But the opportunity to bear children is a precious gift, and will not last, so I would encourage you to enjoy it while you can.
Our oldest son also did not enjoy reading at that age (he is twelve and NOW he does) and I think he went through a lot of what you are describing also. At that age, he enjoyed more nature walks (a little harder in winter, depending on your location), science experiments, drawing, picture books (he still sits and listens to our younger children’s read alouds). He hated to listen to anything for any length of time. Copywork – ugh! It was really tough with him too. Perhaps you could ask him to choose what he would like to be copying?
Do you incorporate any games into learning? Our children loves to play games – math games might bring some fun into it. Or Professor Noggin’s – there are a lot of choices there from nature and history. We try to have games on Friday while the youngest two are napping (or at least the very youngest).
One thing I would suggest with your son (I had to with ours) is to teach him that playtime doesn’t come before school starts. He is old enough to learn that, although it will likely be frustrating for both of you at the beginning. This is just my suggestion, obviously you should prayerfully decide if it is best for your family. We do bible time, breakfast, chores, then the kids start into some independent work and at 9:30 we have family school time.
Do you use a playpen at all? I need to with our two year old for interruption reasons also. He used to cry and yell, which was really irritating, but he knows now that he needs to stay in and play quietly for a time.
Remember, with your children being so young, try not to pressure yourself too much. Eight and six years old are good ages to enjoy picture books, nature walks, games, a few literature selections if you can find some they’ll enjoy, drawing/painting, science experiments.
I have found consistency in habits training a challenge also, particularly with a small baby around. I would encourage you to do what you can right now for habits training, and remember that the baby will be older soon, which will leave more time to focus on that area with the other children. There really is only so much that can be accomplished in a day, and you shouldn’t feel “bad” about that. The important thing is that you don’t give up.
Blessings to you,
Gaeleen
Crystal,
When I read your post, I thought, “Did I write that?” So I decided to look at an article I wrote a couple years ago for advice. It’s called “Me Who?” Here’s a link if you’re interested–I need to run or I would summarize for you. It made me feel better to read it. You have to scroll down to it.
Good luck!
We are all different, so I won’t say I know totally how you feel, I do however have at least a small idea. Mine are 7 (almost 8), 4 (almost 5), 2.5 and 14 mo twins.
It is very easy to make bad habit at this point in life and not good ones. Over the past year my children have developed plenty of bad ones. I am retraining them now, things are finally slowing down and days are getting a more normal schedule. Looking back though there are certainly things I could have changed or done better but overall I am happy that we all made it to the other side.
I would suggest getting a few books on tape from your library (some are free online at gutenberg) and doing less copywork (mine only does 1 word most the time at his best. I use the Dolch Sight Words list for his reading level.) Also, we take Fridays off of regular math and just play math games and such. I read them a literature book before bed (they choose it) and that is not offically “school” so no narrating just cuddling up and reading.
Now my younger ones play together in the room where we are, but when they were smaller I did school work while they napped. I am not sure if at least getting some of them down for a nap might help.
I try not to think oh no my 7 yo is 7 already he is getting so old and should know this and this, I think he is only 7 and is so young and has plenty of time to learn it. Maybe that would help you.
The Me Who? article is good as is the one after My Life is Complicated.
Sorry I am getting a little long here and need to get to my family, the boys are done with bath time and all the rest are in the bed. I guess it is lego time! If I think of more or go over what I wrote I will add it tomorrow.
I have a 7yo, a 5yo, 2.5yo and a 6mo old… and I agree it is hard.
What is working for us right now (since the start of January) is a couple of things.
I’m using the Accountable Kids program to help with habit training etc…. it isn’t going perfectly, but it has helped a lot.
Another thing, is I use the Organizer, and print a checklist off each day that goes in my students’ planners. I highlight things they can do on their own – other things are to be done with me. They pick and choose what they will do next, based on my availability. I do sometimes have to suggest to mix things up a bit, or we will end up with all the readings at the end of things… When they are done, they get to mark it off.
And finally – I plan all the schoolwork on the planner from M-Th. This increases what we need to do each day (I use AO, so I know I haven’t changed the amount of work…) On Fridays, if they did everything, all they have to do is a math lesson and scriptures – and the rest is a “Wild Day” (by the way, that is a good book to read.) We do our nature study, or scouting work, or a fieldtrip (or all combined). BUT, if the schoolwork hasn’t been finished for the week – we do that on Friday instead. My kids are now very motivated to get their work done on the other days!
Yes, it is hard to drag out all the kids sometimes, but it is worth it. Today, everyone was done – so I looked outside, and we were having a blizzard. There was fog, and the snow was coming down… we had had about 4 inches since the night before. Sigh… this isn’t going to be easy… lol. So, I packed a picnic lunch, dug out the car, put the baby in the carseat, and carefully drove… to the conservatory! We had a picnic lunch in the tropics, did a plant hunt (my 7yo found 4 of the 8 plants… and a worker was kind enough to show us some we missed), we looked at Koi and Turtles, etc….. Fortunately when we had left the show had stopped and the fog had lifted…
Anyway, you don’t want to hear how everything is going perfectly…. and there are days it doesn’t! A month ago I was frustrated, feeling so behind (we had done 12 weeks of AO in about 16 or so physical weeks), and about ready to pack it in. By making those couple of changes, my kids now have some motivation to get things done.
And the planner stuff ideas I got from http://www.urthemom.com/, even though I’m using SCM Organizer instead of the planners that site sells… I need my kids to be eventually independant in some subject (although we will have family subjects too)… You may find the ideas there help with your kids.
hope some of this helps!
Thank you all for your replies. When I wrote the original post we were having quite the tough week. Things are still tough and I am not sure in what direction we need to go yet. I truly enjoyed and learned from all the advice given and the articles shared. Those were wonderful and have given me a lot to think about.
I have one more question: Has anyone had a child where the CM way of schooling not mesh well for the student? I feel that I am in love with the CM method, but my child is not.
Thanks again,
Crystal
I just want to thank you for starting this post!!!!! And for all the replies!! I came here searching for answers to those exact questions. I too have 5 children, all girls 6, 5, 4, 2, 9 months. I won’t give you an more details, because that would basically be rewriting your original post. LOL! Looking forward to more replies 🙂
I have one more question: Has anyone had a child where the CM way of schooling not mesh well for the student? I feel that I am in love with the CM method, but my child is not.
Crystal,
I am relatively new (this year) to CM, and I have been wondering this myself! I started with a 9th and 5th grader using CM methods so we don’t have the foundation that would have been laid in the early years.
The CM method requires more of the student. They have to be more aware, more engaged, and more responsive to what they are learning–and this makes them more responsible for their own education. That’s not easy for them, and my oldest especially balks at it.
Let’s stick with this together! I figure between us and God first and foremost we can do this for our kids!!
@ suzukimom,
and the rest is a “Wild Day” (by the way, that is a good book to read.)
To which book are you referring? I did a search for “Wild Day,” but I came up with all sorts of other things, not a book title.
@ Crystal,
One thing to remember is that you are the parent, and you have made a decision about what method would be best for your children to be educated, not what method will tickle their fancies. Now, I’m not saying that, if your child is struggling to learn, you should not investigate other methods and/or materials–of course we do that for our children. It’s one of the reasons we homeschool–to tailor education to the child.
Public schools do not change curriculum based on an individual child’s needs, although they do make minor adjustments and supplement what is being taught. However, they are not making decisions on how to teach a given child based on how well they know that child. They don’t have the time or resources to make many changes/adaptations, nor do they really get to know the child as well as a parent who is with the child all day knows him or her. If you feel this method is the best way for your children to learn, then I would stick to it and make minor adaptations to suit your son as you are able. It may well be a phase he is going through, as others have suggested.
Sue
My oldest has moved towards more independent work as he has gotten older. He used to be an avid reader. I think I fought a more workbook approach with him and I wish I hadn’t. I have found Teaching Textbooks, Queens Langguage Lessons, and Italics books to be really helpful for him. I still try to involve him in a read aloud. Plus, I try to catch him once a day and ask about what he is reading.
I think your child might not be ready for as much as you want though. I know my 7 year old cannot handle much. He does oral narrations and only one copy work sentence per day. That is plenty for him.
Wild days is by Karen Radcliffe
My 7yo boy does copywork, German (watching a video lesson), violin review practice (not the new things), reading of one book, and sometimes Math on his own. If I was in a position that I needed him to do more, I could get some of our books in audio format to listen to.
Obviously a 7yo can’t be as independant (especially with this type of method) as say a 10 or 11yo, but there are things they CAN do, if you plan it out….
Hi Crystal and everyone 🙂
First off, I stopped by your blog Crystal and your kids are gorgeous! I’ve also enjoyed reading everyone’s replies and learning more about their struggles & what works for them.
2)I can’t speak to schooling many as we only have two boys who feel completely short-changed at not having more brothers & sisters. We do have a home business though that is thrown in the mix though.
3)I have yet to meet a child that doesn’t benefit from the freedom of having good habits and discipline. Remember, CM isn’t just living books – at its core it is an atmosphere, a discipline and a life. If you haven’t, I would encourage you to read (maybe while nursing) SCM’s free book “Education is…” downloadable here.
4)We just redid our schedule. As I studied CM’s Grades 1-3 schedule I was again reminded and amazed at: how short the lessons are, how play, dance, Swedish drill (like Simon Says) are mixed in, and how writing (copywork) is rotated with drawing and painting for those fine motor skills. Copywork was a constant issue for my son and when we switched to drawing/painting with copywork only 1x (last year) 2x this year attitudes and handwriting improved 🙂
5)I have a son who is eight as well. What books (classics) are you reading? Maybe we could come up with others he would find more to his taste but still be twaddle-free.
6)Don’t hate me for saying this everyone but how about a nursing schedule for littles? I did not do this but my friend has her youngest on a napping/nursing schedule that completely blows me over whenever I’m at their home. I really didn’t know you could do that. She uses Titus2.
7)Things don’t go as perfectly as we’d like but so much of this calling is for our (moms’) training as well. My second child’s learning style is so different that I was on the forum last year wondering if CM would work for him. It does but we have to be outside much more and he definitely needs something in his hands while I read aloud.
8)I used to cringe whenever my oldest told people he would prefer to go to the local Christian school. I have a friend that put her son in this year and he has three hours of homework a night. I’m getting better at not taking it personally and carry on trusting the Lord.
It’s nice to be with you on this journey.
Richele
I did not ask the original question, but once again, I’m so glad someone did (meaning Crystal)…I gain so much from the replies.
My oldest (almost 12, very independent/responsible) has asked several times about going to public school or local Christian private school for high school. I take that very personal. He is enjoying our CM method (but would probably do whatever, he’s that compliant), so it’s not that he’s complaining about our method, as he’s not a complainer, but that he’d like to try out ps for the higher grades, ugh. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I know that in the end it is our decision (his parents), but I feel like I did when he was asking to be homeschooled in K, 1st and 2nd grade (then he stopped asking and we pulled him out:). I feel like we are at odds, when I would love for him to desire this method/home education like I do, not just do it because he’s so compliant….then to have him later say that he only did ‘such and such’ because that is what we wanted him to do.
I apologize for hijacking this thread but Richele’s reply is so true (as well as everyone else’s). When my son asks about ps, it puts me in such a funk, much like when I am not as patient (or organized) with my kids as I should be.
Crystal, we have eight children, five are school age. CM methods work well for all of them, though I will agree it does seem to be more of a stretch for some, and I agree with the statement that the methods require more of the student (more thinking – which some would rather not do!)
My3boys, I have found our son, who is twelve, is concerned with the “quality” of his education – he isn’t interested in going to school anywhere else, but he has asked questions about what will be required for post-secondary education admittance, should he go that route. I wonder if that could be part of the issue – perhaps having him in on the plans would help. I have told our (older) children that there are some things they “must” learn, and others that I can guide them along with, if it is their desire.
With our twelve year old, we sat down recently (because he didn’t seem entirely motivated to do much except play violin for four hours a day) and set some goals, with his (limited) input. When he could see in front of him, on paper, what he needed to do to reach those goals, it made a huge difference. He has been much more motivated in areas that will require steady work through the next eight years (or however long it takes). In having him included in the plans, I was able to find out some things that he wanted to learn that surprised me (eg, Hebrew); and I was also able to motivate him in some areas that he doesn’t enjoy (eg. writing), just by explaining how it will help him to reach his goals and some of the reasons why it is on the “must” list.
I know all children, and situations, are different, but I just wanted to share.
Gaeleen
@Gaeleen,
Thank you for your reply…I believe you are right as he has asked about the ‘quality’ of what he is currently doing. I think that he believes that because it is so different than mainstream ps that he is not doing as much as they are (in reality he’s just not doing the boring, busy work, that is what he doesn’t understand). He is incredibly easy to school, always has been since he doesn’t complain and just does what he’s suppose to do…but maybe he is looking to be challenged more, could that be it?? He is (and I’m trying not to brag here, cause he’s not perfect:) very independent, especially in the last 6-8 months, he starts ‘school’ on his own with a devo. book in his room then does math, science, literature, history and a phonics program (he is using it for some read aloud issues) all on his own. He knows when to narrate and self corrects unless I have told him that I will look something over for him. He is a green belt 3rd stripe in karate and leads others in the class several times a week with a long term goal of black belt. So, I guess what I’m saying is that he is definitely a part of the planning process, but maybe with this method (crazy as it sounds) he feels unchallenged (although in ps the challenges he would face would not be the kind of challenges I want him to have to face, get what I’m saying??). Maybe we need to sit down and talk about some long term academic goals (maybe even what he’d like to do for a living) and see what we can come up with that will help him to feel more challenged. He seems to be at this place where he is craving more knowledge and is possibly looking at me with the thought that I may be limiting him because I’m just ‘mom’. Hmmm.
Just having posted what I posted earlier and with your comment I may have found my answer….
This is going to take some prayer and wisdom on my part I can tell:) Does any of this ring true to anyone or make sense??
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