Homeschooling outside your own family

First you ought to check the homeschool law in your state to see how that would work. In Ohio, someone other than the parents would be allowed to homeschool a child, but that person’s information (name, address, level of education completed) must be included on the notification form.

We have not personally home educated anyone other than our own children, but I know of a family that homeschooled a friend of their oldest daughter for 8th or 9th grade, and it worked out very well for both families.

I was curious if you had mentioned this to your sister and what her thoughts are on the matter, as well.  A well-meaning offer could sound judgmental to the other person.  Add to the fact that your dh doesn’t really want you to do that right now could just add stress, at the same time, I totally get you wanting to reach out to your nephew.

May God give you the right answer in time.

I sent this post via pm, because it was too detailed and wordy to clog up the forum. But decided to post it after all, since others may be considering the same thing. I know homeschooling others can work out beautifully for all involved, but below are some things to consider before committing to do so. This isn’t to say I would decline homeschooling anybody’s child, after weighing these things it may work out at a different season of life with a different child. I would highly consider doing something like this on a temporary or part time basis given the right situation and right fit for everybody involved.

These reasons would be slightly more flexible homeschooling a family member but my main reasons for not homeschooling my friend’s child were:

1. We have differing religious beliefs and Christianity playing a major role throughout our school day would not have gone over well for her (I didn’t mention when she asked initially because I already knew I would say no)

2. For sick days the day for her child would have to be made up on a different day than for my children. If I or my children were sick, she would have to find last minute childcare or take off work, plusmI’d have to make up that school day for her child a different day.

3. I would have her child all day everyday, and schooling only takes a few hours that young. It would be up to me to discipline and character train her child for those hours. I believe the ultimate responsibility for this lies with the parent. If my friend doesn’t like the way things in this regard are handled at school, she can have a conference, if she has a problem with the way I do things it could ruin the friendship. ETA: this friend and I handle correction differently

4. Like sick days, if a family emergency arose for either side where one had to leave town (thinking with the husband’s families in your situation since you are sisters) then school has to be made up for her child a different time than your child could do school.

5. If the other child has a problem with one of the 3 R’s , the weight of that problem is on you. At school there is special tutoring for weak areas, but in my situation, if her son bombed math on a test, my friend could blame me. Again, putting the friendship In jeopardy.

6. We like the flexibility of taking days off at will, be it a need for deep housecleaning, last minute company, beautiful,weather, or we’re just pooped. Adding someone else’s child in the mix doesn’t allow this flexibility. Also, we go shopping and run errands during the week. I did not want my friend’s child in tow all the time (a nephew might be different).

7. As my kids are getting older, they are involved with more extracurriculars, I am not sure that my friend would want her child in the same ones or spend money on the same things I would.

I do have an acquaintance that is homeschooling her nephew in addition to her own and, to my knowledge, that situation is going well. But, just wanted to give you the above things to think about. If there is a mutual healthy relationship between you, your sister, BIL, and dh; then it may work beautifully. If your dh has reservations, I would proceed with huge caution. I understand you feel for your nephew, but the ultimate responsibility of how long he is at school lies with your sister and her husband, NOT you. Yes, it can be a huge ministry and blessing, but as I am sure you have made huge sacrifices to arrange it so you can be home with your children, you have to weigh if your sister and her husband are in the position to choose to alter their schedules so that their child is not in school all day (if that is their priority, and an option for them). They may have no other choice if you don’t homeschool your nephew, but if they do have another choice (be it sacrificial on their part in way of income)….that would likely be better for the long haul. If your dh isn’t in agreement, it could lead to stress between the two of you, I would consider his side fully before proceeding. Also, if there are tensions between you, your sister, your BIL, or your dh keeping your nephew full time and carrying the weight of his academic education could create greater tensions. Mainly, I would pray with dh and seek God’s word on it fully, it is a huge undertaking….and may very well turn into a huge blessing for everyone involved!

Personally, I would not homeschool someone else’s child for the very reasons Kim listed. There is a huge amount of pressure involved when it’s someone else’s child that isn’t there for your own. Having another child in the mix really limits your flexibility. I admire you, though, for looking at it is a ministry opportunity. I had never thought of it that way! It would break my heart for one of my nephews to be in school for 11 hours a day, so I understand your concern. Just as someone stayed above, however, that concern falls on your sister and her husband. I wish there was a way for your sister to cut her working hours or something so that your nephew isn’t practically being raised at school.

Prayers as you find the right answer!

I actually did homeschool a friend’s son for one semester and it was so difficult. It completely changed the atmosphere of our homeschool and I was counting down the days to summer. It just didn’t work for us. Trying to incorporate someone else into your family’s unique way of homeschooling and lviing together is very hard. It was very stressful.  I felt so much pressure to make sure that our new student’s education was up to his parents’ expectations. He was utilizing a more tradional curriculum and it was so hard tryng to teach that to him (which I hated) and still using Charlotte Mason’s methods for my own children.