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Homeschooling and socializing with kids of the same age
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Hello,
I have a just to turn 3 yr-old girl and really want to home school here in Austria where it is not popular at all. She keeps asking me to go to preschool… and we see in her a very sociable personality. Now my question: what amount of same age group would you consider healthy? She only has a baby sister. Thanks for any advice!
I understand the concern. I don’t think kids need to be with kids exactly the same age, as grouped together in schools…that’s now how it is in any other atmosphere in life. My kids happily play w/neighbors who are within a few years in age (though they are 9 and 12….little different than 3). Does she have any other avenues to make friends? Neighbors? Church? Sports?
We are fortunate to live where there are lots of homeschoolers. Buit we really have one main family that we hang out with regularly…plus they have church and other activities. My kids are pretty happy w/one main friend to hang out with…I don’t think tons of friends are necessary. Best wishes:) Gina
Our children have many friends of different ages. Only a couple of their friends are the same age as they are. I believe that my children have benefited from being around younger and older children. We have two sets of friends whose children are 2 and 4. My children are almost 7 and 8. But my husband and I love these two couples and couldn’t imagine not being friends with them. I have seen both of my children come down to the level of the younger kids, play with them, read to them, teach them, and play gently with them. It’s been wonderful to watch! We also have friends whose children are older than ours. I love how their older children do exactly what my children do when younger ones are around. They include them, play with them, show them cool stuff. I wouldn’t limit your or your daughter’s social activity to families with similarly aged children. Find a couple or two that you and your husband really click with at church or somewhere else you frequent, and then include the children accordingly, no matter their ages.
Like Gina said, tons of friends definitely aren’t necessary. Our children have 2-3 good friends, and the rest are playmates because my husband or I like to hang around their moms and dads.
God has blessed us with only one daughter (7 yrs.) so far. She is very sociable! When we first started Homeschooling I did my share of worrying about companionship for her. She doesn’t have any close friends that are her exact age, but has made several of all different ages. (Even some elderly people) We do go to a co-op where she is with other children. This is once a week. However, we don’t spend alot of time with her friends there because most of them live an hour away. She has learned to have fun with whoever she is around.
We have also been inviting other couples over that have young children. This has provided more fellowship for our entire family. We are praying that as she gets older God will bless our family with friends who have a daughter so that she can know what close friendship is like. Until then, I must rest in the fact that God was the One who designed her life, her family and her circumstances.
Thank you for the sweet encouragement everyone! I guess I was also really down yesterday as I do get pressure from those around that I really should put her into preschool (which we do NOT want to do!). And then my little one now starts also talking preschool… Your comments is just what I needed to hear! So thankful for an online community like this (I don’t post often but read lots). Homeschooling is just not common over here. In fact I don’t know of any other family homeschooling in our area. I think there’s only about 200 kids homeschooled in Austria and that includes some small private schools. So it is sooooo normal to everyone that ‘kids need to be around kids of the same age’. And in everybody’s mind it’s almost like you’re harming your child if you don’t do it!
I know many children who went to preschool and even Kindergarten at a half day program then homeschooled at age 6. I wanted to keep my kids at home and really needed to keep my oldest home at that age (very shy kiddo) but now am seriously considering a one or two day per week mother’s day out for my second son. He is much more sociable and it doesn’t hurt him to be home but it would be fun to go to a program.
I started homeschooling this year, my oldest is in 5th grade and I have a 3rd grader but I kept one child in preschool, 3 days a week. My kids all loved preschool. Preschool is so much more fun than school. They have much more play time. And it is a much shorter time too. Also I found that it gets them excited about learning, if you get good teachers anyway. For us it gives a good boost before starting homeschooling.
Next year I am keeping him home for kindergarden but sending my 3 year old one day a week(it is usually a 2 day program for 3 year olds but we go to bible study the other day). We’ll see after that…
I’m in a place where there are a TON of homeschoolers. But even so, people still think you’re doing a disservice by not sending them to at least preschool. I sent my oldest (now 6) to preschool for one year only because he needed speech therapy and he still talks about it in a negative way.
As for “socializing,” my boys are only a year apart, so they have each other….constantly. But as for other kids they are with kids their age on Sundays and Wednesdays at church…so an hour and half or so each of those days. One day a week we go to homeschool classes at our YMCA. My oldest is in a group with kids from like 5 to 8 maybe? Youngest is in the preschool class and he is the oldest…mostly 3 and 4 year olds and he’s 5-1/2. That is for 2 hours. One day a week we have a Bible study and it’s mostly homeschool moms and they bring their kids….babies through 11. That’s two hours. Then they play with two neighborhood kids once or twice a week…those kids are both 7, almost 8.
So we’re talking like 10 hours a week with other kids at the most. Seven if they haven’t played with the neighbor kids. And honestly, that is PLENTY!
I did put my daughter in preschool It was a two year program. In the first week she seemed more distant towards me. By week 2 she picked up screaming and a few other things that were inapporopriate around our house. So, I really questioned whether she was learning anything of substance. The teacher is a wonderful teacher but my children were questioning me about her tatoo. Hmm? You really can’t control what someone else is teaching your child.
In a nut shell she was sick more that year then any other time in her life. Since I started homeschooling her she has not been sick. I am glad we aren’t as sick. I am also glad that she didn’t get to the point of my son where he missed his best friend. He just wanted to go to school to be with him. That is not a reason to be in school. My social butterfly was in class not really paying attention so he didn’t know what was going on. So, I really think he has grown by not being there. He learns more. He was also fed food he is allergic to. So, I would have to say it has been more of a blessing not to have them in school and would do it all over again.
Just think of all the things that you can’t control by having her in school and that will help. 🙂
Blessings!
I’ll share how I explain my view of the socialization issue to others. My family bred and trained large breed dogs for years. When we needed to socialize a puppy, we didn’t put him in a room full of other puppies all the same age and doing the same things. We exposed him to new people, unique situations, different kinds of animals, and so on. When he could interact with all kinds of others in any kind of situation, THEN we considered him properly socialized. Children also need interaction on all different levels to be able to learn how to relate properly to life and to others. Solely relying on socialization with a group of peers at exactly the same stage doesn’t necessarily provide this sort of challenge.
FWIW
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