homeschooling alone with special needs

Hello,

I have 4 childen: 9, 6, 3 and 8 months.  There is no one else to help during the day.  My youngest has spina bifida and needs quite a lot of my time for catheterizations as needed (2-4hrs), medicines, therapies, exercises, appointments, etc.  What can I do to “buy time” (mostly at home) when I am taking care of his needs and the needs of my other children and the household.  All the children have food allergies so we have to cook just about everything.  Using media seems to only make things worse (behavior and attitude).  The oldest, being the best helper but also the one causing the whole family most distress has sensory issues and need most help with school and gets aggressive and violent, sensory seeking when stressed or off his routine.  I tried to include the children at first, but having to keep everything sanitized and everyone calm and patient for any where between 5-20 minutes, it just doesn’t seem to work to have the kids there, so I do it in the bedroom.  But as soon as I leave and/ or come back, fighting happens, school work is not being done, rhythm is lost.  The hardest is I can’t schedule his catheterizations very well, I can plan ahead, it really has to be as needed based on my diet, his feedings, our day’s activities, etc.  We live in the country so everything and everyone is 30-45 minutes away at least.

We do a lot of things by audio in the car, but at appointments, it’s hard to do school when every office has a movie playing and at home, it’s pretty crazy.

My 6 and 3 yr old are acting up and causing lots of messes because they are just having a hard time not getting enough mommy time and stressed being picked on by oldest brother so I can’t leave them alone for long or reliably.  I tried getting out some fun manipulatives / toys but it takes even more time to prepare and clean up than it is worth, it seems.  But there’s only so much time and mommy to be shared in the day.  I am stressed out and feel like I don’t have any more time to give.

Any advice is appreciated.