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History studies that Mom can't handle
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I used to love studying the Holocaust. As a child, I consistently checked out books on Jews, Nazis, concentration camps, Corrie ten Boom, etc. Then I had kids. Now anything pertaining to the Holocaust scares the heck out of me.
I can’t watch movies related to that time or I’ll have nightmares for weeks. I think having children made me realize that a future Holocaust-type movement or event is not impossible, even in our own country. I tend to put myself into the characters in movies and books, and will contemplate on how I would react in certain situations, what would I do or say, how would I handle such-and-such event. When it comes to any other period in history, I’m fine. But with this particular event, I just can’t handle it.
I don’t want to avoid it, because I certainly know that my children need to understand the events surrounding the persecution of the Jews and others who were “different” according to Hitler’s Aryan race standards. I don’t want this part of history to be overlooked. But I don’t know how to present the information to my children, especially whey they are older, without having nightmares and panic attacks in the middle of the night.
I know that probably sounds really stupid, but it’s true for me. I am super sensitive to this event in time.
Have any of you experienced this type of fear? If so, how did you teach your children about the event in time and move past the fear? Have your children become fearful of history repeating itself as a result of learning about the most disturbing events/wars/persecutions/etc.?
THis is a really good question. I so far haven’t had trouble myself, but some of my kids have. My oldest son still hates to read about some of these things.
((((Hugs))))) Lindsey, I hate to think of you being in such fear. I don’t know what the procedure is in your faith/church but I want to encourage you to seek help, blessing, some way of helping to spiritually arm you. I am prone to fear myself, and long-term, I’ve really been helped in this way. It helps me to remember that the opposite of fear is faith, that fear CANNOT dwell where there is faith. I used to wake up at night crying and fearful that my children would be trapped in a fire. Or I’d drive off a bridge and not be able to get everyone out of their carseats before we drowned. It was very real and very upsetting. I have received many blessings from priesthood holders in my church, and have memorized every “Fear not” verse in the scriptures, and have learned hymns to sing to myself when fear begins. The results have not always been perfect, but I am better than I was. Hey, I have a kid living sixty miles from the Ukrainian border right now and I mostly sleep. 🙂 At least some. Some people might also benefit from therapy with a godly therapist although this has not helped me much. (For personal reasons, one of my fears actually IS therapists.)
OK. Now about your children. It is really important I think for you, your children and anyone else who gets involved here to remember that no matter what may happen in the future, we as Christians can rest in God’s care. That doesn’t mean we will always be “all right” but that we can trust God. Even if things are not “all right” in a worldly sense, God is in control and He is right there for us no matter what we go through. I certainly cannot promise you that we will never see persecutions. Or wars. Or terrible danger. We might. But, ultimately, we will be OK if we are resting in Him, in an eternal sense. Now, the Holocaust is difficult reading. I have also had a strange fascination with it since childhood. I have a large collection of stories and memoirs, actually. It is one of my “things.” I don’t know why. Yes, it can often be very upsetting. I do think it is important for people to know and understand what happened there, but in the circumstances, you may want to just be very careful with the materials you use. Some are darker than others; some have hope, some do not. Another thing you might try–do you know anyone else in your family, church or homeschool group that would be willing to read and discuss this era with your children? You might find someone with an interest that you could carefully choose some selected materials and have your children read and discuss with this person, if you are not yet able to do this when the time comes. And that’s OK. Fear and anxiety and panic attacks are real, and can take time to work through, and might persist for some time. It isn’t stupid. (Much stupider was my obsessive fear that a spider might crawl on one of my children in the night. I used to get up multiple times a night and shine lights around them as they slept, looking for spiders. Now, don’t you feel better? 😀 )
Michelle, thank you for that thoughtful response. I am actually not prone to fear. I’m a pretty fearless person, usually. I’m a risk-taker, adventurous, spontaneous, even a little dangerous when the mood strikes. It’s just that when it comes to my children, all bets are off. Admittedly, I am probably a little over-protective of them. I don’t even become fearful for myself when I think about Holocaust or persecution type situations. I know that Jesus said that in the end times, believers would be persecuted for His name’s sake. And I am totally prepared to be persecuted, tortured, imprisoned, or even killed for my faith in Christ.
I just can’t bear the thought of my children suffering. Doesn’t that sound silly? To me, they are so little and trusting and pure of heart. Yes, they sin and make wrong choices, but overall, their minds and hearts are still very innocent and pure.
Seriously, I don’t fear fires or thieves or even spiders. LOL
I’ve been stung by a scorpion in my bed in the middle of the night, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined it would be, so that pretty much destroyed the fear. (Although I don’t EVER want it to happen again and certainly not to my kids, but I’m not afraid of it.) If I don’t read about, think about, talk about, or watch movies about that period of history, it’s out of my thoughts and I don’t dwell on it. BUT IF I open that door, the nightmares return, and it’s always about my kids, never myself or my husband. Nightmares of our family being separated or my kids starving or being tortured, helplessly watching them through a barbed wire fence while they are forced to work or endure terrors and I can’t do anything to comfort them. That’s what the fear is about, and because it’s in dreams, I can’t control it. I don’t walk around fearful about this normally, unless that door is opened (or documentary turned on), and then I pray and fight with faith through it, but the nightmares still come. I don’t know anyone right now who would be willing to have these discussions and lessons with my kids in my stead…not anyone locally, anyway. I know Christie or you or another “forum friend” probably would delight in taking this off my hands, but unfortunately, none of you are exactly convenient. LOL
My husband has prayed over me about this fear. I have spoken scriptures over myself, my children, and my home. And as long as those images aren’t conjured up through books, discussions, or movies, I’m right as rain. But if Pandora’s box gets opened….
Lindsey,
This is just a thought…I’m trying to remember how old your kids are. I don’t think they are HS age yet are they? My thought is that you probably know enough yourself to give them a sketch of what happened without using any “materials”. This is actually what I did, not with a great amount of thought, but it just happened. The topic has come up in family conversations over the years, and I just let it be at that until they were in high school, and by then they have been interested in learning about all the things they “missed” thus far, so they’ve done it on their own with materials I’ve provided…and we discussed. But for me anyway, the discussions play on my emotions much less than if I actually read or watch. Honestly, I’m quite sure my hisband would never allow any video material on this in our home. Who needs to see the stuff? And who wouldn’t have nightmares over it if they did? Books are quite adequate. I think people who could watch more or less unaffected must be already desensitized by the media. Just my 2 cents…
I think you have had good information so far. I also don’t remember the age of your kids, but other than a very general summary of it should be fine until they are High School age.
Then, under the circumstances, I would just be honest with them, and then let them read/learn about it on their own. As you have read books when you were younger, you would have some that you can suggest for them. If your dh could answer any questions that come up – that should be good. I think you should be able to do it at that stage letting them self-educate.
I like the ideas and suggestions you have gotten so far, and I can relate on several levels. When people describe me they often use words like “brave” or “courageous”. I don’t really agree with these assessments, because I know on the inside I easily fall into fear when it comes to my kids. For me, what you are describing wouldn’t be the result of the WWII materials or the horrific events that took place at that time, it would be from me not having the right perspective on God. As hard as it might be for me to believe, He loves my children even more than I do, but unlike me, He is able to keep them safe in the eternal things, when I most certainly cannot. So for my part it boils down to a lack of faith that I must deal with; your mileage may vary.
I encourage you to keep finding a way to to confront your fears. Take it straight to God, keep bringing it to Him until you find some resolution. I think you are on the right path to “pray and fight with faith through it”. Its how we grow. Don’t shrink back from the hard things, because your kids do need to know about those difficult and horrible things. God forbid our society ever forget! If you find that the time comes and you need to teach your kids about events that still bring out the fearfulnss then find a way to get the job done. Perhaps your husband can help and do it with you?
For me, I need to face the reality of life for my oldest 2 sons and let them live the life they are able to live, that God has set before them. It’s going to be a long summer in this regard. 🙂
My kids are 10 and almost 9 right now. The topic will come up in our history studies in the next couple of years, and I’m trying to prepare for the inevitable.
My son went through a stint of profound interest in all things WWII-related when he was 8. So I bought him books that I felt would give him a good overview of the time: a biography of Franklin Roosevelt, a biography of Anne Frank (Who Was Anne Frank?), Number the Stars, Hiding From the Nazis picture book, and he read some library books about WWII tanks and planes, and went to an air museum that featured a few actual planes and guns from the war. We’ve had some discussions about Hitler, and my son understands that he was an evil man. That’s as far as we’ve gone.
I’m sure the TruthQuest and SCM Modern Times studies don’t give any book or movie recommendations that are disturbing. And the movies I’ve seen about this time will definitely NOT be shown to my children–Schindler’s List, The Pianist, Diary of Anne Frank. The only one that I might consider letting them watch when they’re in hs would be The Hiding Place. We have the YWAM missionary story of Corrie ten Boom, which we will most likely read when we study this time period. By then, my children will be 11 and 12.
@curlywhirly, I get what you are saying, and I haven’t taken this issue before the Lord in a while, simply because I haven’t been experiencing any fear over it–because I haven’t been actively thinking on it in a long time. I had to put up a boundary when it came to this time period, because it became overwhelming to me. I completely understand that God loves my children more than I do, and that He alone is their protector. I do trust Him with my children, and I know that someday He may call them to give their lives for Christ. My spirit has made peace with that; but my flesh hasn’t. Does that make sense?
My fears don’t necessarily come from a lack of trust in the Father, but from the flesh–a part of ourselves I know we all battle against. We dedicated our children to the Lord at conception. I think it’s somewhat natural for part of a mother’s heart to want to hold on, despite knowing God’s got her children in His hands.
Am I making any sense at all??
Makes total sense to me Lindsey, and I didn’t intend to imply you don’t trust God or that you hadn’t dedicated them to God, or anything else that might be construed in any way negatively. You said it just right- its the flesh not the spirit that is holding on. Maybe your experience is different than mine, I just wanted to encourage you to not give in to it and to persistantly keep pressing in toward God and growing in trust and faith.
@Bookworm you said you were fearful that my children would be trapped in a fire. Or I’d drive off a bridge and not be able to get everyone out of their carseats before we drowned.
—I hate when I have those thoughts! I’d run through the scenarios over and over again like I was practicing a fire drill of some sort! Then I realized it was fear and I needed to trust the Lord. Now when a thought creeps into my head I simply utter, “I trust you Jesus” and I feel the thought escaping my mind.
The spider thing with the flashlight made me smile as I’ve thought about spiders crawling on them too…not enough to grab my flashlight!!
Lindsey, I hope you find peace with your kids learning about this horrific event in our fallen world.
You are making complete sense, Lindsey. I know what you mean. It’s our mother-hearts. I think it’s also that some things seem to be coming into our lives here that brings the possibility to the forefront moreso than when we were growing up. Either that or more of an awareness. I have to keep putting it from my mind and just trust God to help me through. At times, that’s easy to do; but at others, it’s not so easy.
I like the suggestion of just letting them learn on their own in HS. Your ds who has that interest could probably do more reading on this own again, and then he can talk w/ dh and leave it at that. If that time/particular event is hard for you, then there’s nothing wrong w/ doing it that way for a bit.
Lindsey,
My oldest daughter and I went to Germany two years ago and visited Dachau Concentration Camp. My daughter was 14 at the time and it was a very emotional experience. If you have read The Hiding Place, you may remember Corrie’s father telling her that he gives her the train ticket right before she aboards. The Lord gives us the courage (or whatever) we need right at the very moment we need it. I believe that in a few years when your children are young adults, your discussions with your children and book choices about the holocaust will reflect God’s timing for your family. He’ll give you the ticket. For now, stick to SCM WWII recommendations. Maybe find The Chestry Oak which addresses the Nazis without holocaust details. And you probably know that it is holocaust memorial week (Days of Remembrance April 27-May 4), so the Lord is already preparing your ticket, prompting your thoughts in this direction this very week. May you continue to hate what God hates, love what God loves, and find peace in Him.
Peace and grace,
Janell
Another book reccomendation – The Winged Watchman. I just finished it. I’m going to let my 9yo read it. It dealt with the people in Holland and how they were handling things with the German occupation. I feel like it’s a good book that deals with the hardship of war, not the torture that the Nazi’s put people through.
When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit is another good one (that might be suggested in Mod. 6).
Sara’s Trek is another good one for children. Again, they don’t major on the nastiness of the Nazi’s. But they gently speak to the distressing times that ordinary people had because of the war.
@Karen, The Winged Watchman has been recommended several times on here, so I think I’m going to start looking for it. I understand it’s a bit hard to find, but worth it when you do. And you articulated the types of resources I would be most likely to use better than I could: “books that deal with the hardship of war, not the torture that the Nazis put people through”. That’s exactly what I’m wanting.
@Janell, it’s interesting; I did not know this week was Days of Remembrance! How weird that I brought this up without even knowing! But you are right, the Lord is obviously preparing the way–way ahead of schedule. I love that story of Corrie and her father.
I’ve been stung by a scorpion in my bed in the middle of the night, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined it would be, so that pretty much destroyed the fear. (Although I don’t EVER want it to happen again and certainly not to my kids, but I’m not afraid of it.) If I don’t read about, think about, talk about, or watch movies about that period of history, it’s out of my thoughts and I don’t dwell on it. BUT IF I open that door, the nightmares return, and it’s always about my kids, never myself or my husband. Nightmares of our family being separated or my kids starving or being tortured, helplessly watching them through a barbed wire fence while they are forced to work or endure terrors and I can’t do anything to comfort them. That’s what the fear is about, and because it’s in dreams, I can’t control it. I don’t walk around fearful about this normally, unless that door is opened (or documentary turned on), and then I pray and fight with faith through it, but the nightmares still come. 
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