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Help with behavior challenged child
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My one son – age 11 – (I also have a 12 yo boy and a 10 yo girl) has major behavior problems. He is seeing a psychiatrist, psycologist and on medication but has big time rage, anger issues – severe ones and OCD. I have always used the CM method in our homeshool, but am at the point with him that I don’t know how to do that. He often acts up in school and needs to go to an alone place until he is calm before continuing his school work. I can’t be repeating all the reading, activities, etc. with him. I need curriculum that I can hand him and he can do it on his own without me whenever he can complete it. I have looked at ACE PACE’s for him (self taught and self check), but he doesn’t like this – of course. He won’t take much constructive criticism and hates to be told he is wrong. This sounds like most kids, but this kid isn’t on the level of most kids in this area – he is much more intense, even dangerous.
One example – he has been writing a small research paper about dog behavior – an interest of his. He has made it to rough draft stage, but we cannot make it any further because he won’t do anything by himself, and he won’t take any advice from me. How do I teach a kid like this???
I could use any sort of advice about what to have him do that could be independent but sort of CM.
Thanks, Dawn
You know, somehow I missed this when you originally posted. I don’t know that I have a lot to offer off the top of my head, but I need answers for my son, too, so I’m going to see if I can come up with something soon. However, two of mine have soccer camp this week, and we’re furiously preparing for a church rummage sale, so it might be awhile until I can gather my thoughts or do some extra research.
My 11yo ds has mild autism, so learning is a challenge to begin with. He also has behavioral issues and was seeing a psychologist until our insurance dropped that group of doctors and said “Just pick another psychologist.” It took so long for ds to get used to this doctor and make some progress….and he does not at all like the idea of talking to someone new. When he gets frustrated, he gets emotional–often angry. His anger sometimes means the rest of us have to leave the room, and sometimes he just bangs his head against the floor, the wall, the furniture….it’s tough, and it interrupts the school day. Some days he makes a lot of progress, some days not so much. Math is especially hard for him, so I try to keep those lessons shorter than anything else.
Once I have a chance to think about what we can do differently, or what we’ve tried that has had even a little success, I’ll post again. Until then, I’ll keep your family in my prayers.
Sue
Hi Dawn, I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. I can relate. I also have a child that challenges my days, we walked on eggshells lest we upset her. I was really having a hard time this year and reached out to a friend. She recommended a fantastic resource that has already (within two months) changed the profile of my household. There is a lady named Diane Craft who is a christian, a special education teacher and a nutritionist. Her teachings and suggestions have made a huge difference with a two of my children, one who has difficulty learning and the other who has challenging behavior. I highly recommend that you check out her web site and that you listen to her talk “The Biology of Behavior” She has amazing testimony to how nutrition among other things can play a key role in helping our children to function and become more involved learners. Her site is http://www.dianecraft.com I hope that this resource works for you.
Sarah
Sorry, I just looked up the site. It is http://www.dianecraft.org. Good luck!
I ordered Dianne’s The Biology of Behavior. And my son is on a new medicine that is working wonderfully – not curing it but he is able to calm himself much easier than before.
Sue – yes, math. Math is incredible frustrating over here too. He’s a bright boy, but because of this he is behind in math. I suppose we will catch up sometime. It’s nice to know everyone doesn’t have those great homeschool days you think everyone has.
So wanting to do CM this next year. Working on that.
I zeroed in on this topic because I’ve been there, and I’ve lived to tell about it. My challenging child is now 30 — Wow!
Although this goes against the grain of many homeschool methods, one of the things I found is that all people (even child-sized people) need a break. Sometimes that down time might be weeks or months, not just a few days.
As moms we also feel like our child’s entire future is based on how well we perform. Thus, at times, it’s easy to get so involved in the method that we forget the student. This was a huge downfall for me because I was a classroom teacher before homeschooling.
While CM may be perfect for you, it may not be so perfect for your child. Another curriculum choice was right up my alley, but just didn’t fit my active, imaginative son. I had to change. It was a struggle, but it was best for him.
Nutrition is a big part of behavior problems. My son has food allergies. Once we got a handle on those, he was so much better. Through that process, I learned that he was having petit mal seizures. Once the allergies were under control, the siezures stopped.
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