Help! Quick!

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  • August 4, 2010 at 3:03 pm
    LindseyD
    Participant

    We have a situation this morning that I really don’t know how to handle. First, I have to bake 11 quiches today, so I got up early and got busy. The kids woke up, I fed them breakfast, and asked them to play while I worked in the kitchen. About five minutes later, my dd5 came whining that her brother wouldn’t play with her, and he followed with, “I want to play by myself.” 

    I’m all about him having time to himself, but I really needed them to play together because I know that’s the most efficient way for me to get my stuff done. I told my son he needed to be kind and stop being selfish, and I told my daughter to play nicely and stop complaining. So they went to play.

    Just a few minutes ago, the most shocking thing happened. My dd said her brother wouldn’t play with her again, so rather than handling it nicely, she went to the bathroom, got a water squirt bottle, went back into the room, and squirted her brother in the face! I was absolutely at a loss as to how to handle this because this has never happened before. 

    I understand her being upset over her brother’s selfishness, and believe me, he was being selfish. I just don’t understand what prompted her to get the squirt bottle out of the bathroom and squirt him for revenge. I sent them to separate rooms and told them they were no longer allowed to play together for a while because they couldn’t be sweet to each other. I just didn’t know what else to do.

    How might have been a better way of handling this situation??

    I’m totally perplexed!

    August 4, 2010 at 3:19 pm
    quietwatersmommy
    Member

    Lindsey- I think you handled it well.

    It sure seems, in our house anyway, at those times when I am pressed for time and MUST get something done in a certain time frame (like you needing to get your baking done today) that suddenly multiple crises like this will break out. It often seems like an attack from the enemy, stirring up selfishness, anger etc.

    I would put on some peaceful praise music, let them stay in their rooms for awhile, and keep praying for wisdom about what scripture verses to share with them.

    Nanci

    August 4, 2010 at 3:20 pm
    my3boys
    Participant

    I have no advice, but to say that you aren’t alone.  I have 3 boys and for half of the day they’ll play super well together, then all of sudden someone is getting hurt, or my 2 older boys want to play alone (not with each, but alone), then the 4yo is crying.  Melt down city:) 

    I’m glad to hear that this is a rare occurence in your home, I wish I could say the same.  My kids are not mean to each other or use bad words, but they do get to where they need to be around other people and get cabin fever. 

     I think you did the right thing. It seems that this was not a good day to have to handle something new when you have all that quiche to make.  Pray that the Lord will give you wisdom and He will.  Others will chime in with real advice and more encouragement.  Hang in there.

    August 4, 2010 at 4:19 pm
    6boys1girl
    Participant

    The only other thought I had was that your son is getting exactly what he wants by staying in his bedroom-time to play by himself. I would maybe have him come out and do chores or something so he is not being rewarded in this way.

    August 4, 2010 at 4:32 pm
    Linabean
    Participant

    Hi Lindsey,

       I don’t know if this will help you or not but this is what we have recently started doing for this type of behaviour.  We put them in a designated place where they can think  (usually for the same amount of minutes as they are old.  If they are having trouble being calm then we don’t start that time until they are calm) about 3 things.  WHAT they did that was wrong, WHY it was wrong, HOW they could have handled it differently.  Our (just barely) 4 yr old usually needs some help with these reasonings.  Then, they have to say sorry to whomever, as well as ask God for forgivness and His help to do better.  Usually this helps.  But it is a bit more time consuming.  However, it gets them to really THINK about how the situation could have been handled differently.  I’m hoping that with enough of these “thinking times” they will begin to think less selfishly and will be able to think of how things should be handled BEFORE the misbehaviour occurs.  I HOPE!  Laughing  I hope you have a better rest of your day!

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