Help!

Thank you for posting hvfth99, because I fall into the same trap, it is almost like I go through spurts of uncertainy am I doing the right thing, using the right thing, ect. Heather you hit the nail on the head for me, your message was very inspiring for me and just made me realize that I am doing it again to myself. I am losing the site of the big picture. thank you for the encouraging verse even though the post wasn’t written to me. It came just in time.

Hazel

I completely understand how you feel. I find myself in this place often. One question that I would ask you is how is your personal time with the Lord? For me, if I am not choosing to spend time at His feet daily then I very easily shift into “Martha” mode. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and I assume responsibilities (even within my home) that are either not my to bear or are not the right time for me to bear them. When I am coming before God and laying my family, my time, my plans at His feet I walk away from that time assured of what I need to be focusing on.

By nature, I am an all or nothing person so quite often I see many areas in my boys lives that need work and I feel like I need to do it all right now. This applies to all areas of my life. I become overwhelmed, anxious and exhausted. Thankfully my husband knows this about me and he has become my protector in this area. I spend time talking with both him and the Lord about all the issues I see and we take time to pray and discern what is the most pertinent needs. Then I can move forward in faith that I am doing what God has called me to do and set my mind to being excellent in those things. I keep a list in my planning notebook of things I see in the kids, life, etc that may need my attention. That way they are there for me to return to when the time is right.

God knew the exact amount of time that we would need in a day to do what He has called us to do. If we seek Him diligently He will not fail us.

I just love this board! I love the way all of us moms swarm someone needing help (even mothers need mothering sometimes!). I love the way every last one says, in her own way, “Look up!” Psalm 121 – “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.”

Another passage I thought of is Psalm 127 – “It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.”

I’m going to put these two scriptures together and offer you a prescription that you *may* want to consider. Of course, as with everything, check it out with God and your husband first.

But here goes: Two weeks of rest. It needs to be a planned rest, so go grocery shopping first. A rest that has you on survival mode only (that means meals, laundry, individual school work if they are able, basic chores, and sleep).

If you cannot fathom taking two weeks (like me at first), then try for at least one. Take the time to pray, sleep, read, pray, sleep, and surrender your home, family, and school to Jesus because, as he says, it is vanity (which is defined as worthlessness) for us to worry. Where does it say who can add one inch to his height by worrying? Now, I do not know you, so I come at it from my own experience; but I do think we homeschool moms are prime candidates for worry. Satan knows it too.

Faith, correct me if I’m wrong, but you have an 8yo and a 5yo? Something that you cannot possibly know until your children are older is that when they are this little, it really is okay to rest. Maybe you do know; it took me years to figure this out, but I’m especially slow and stubborn. I would change some things for my older ones if I could and that would be to be way less stressed about the academics and more caring about my marriage, everyone’s character, habits, and spiritual growth in us all.

‘Nuff said, I always get a little sheepish when I post what I think is a little overbearing-maybe someday my password won’t work on this board. My heart is not to be that; it is to help younger moms see that, if they feel like they are drowning, it’s probably because they filled the bathtub too full for right now.

All of this is hard work; that is not what we are trying to avoid. It is a path that God has called us to and I don’t see in scripture where he calls people to a life of ease. But he calls us to it in order to raise up for him a godly seed and we cannot do that if we’re sunk. I know that I can easily get to a place where I just need to let some of the water out.

I will pray for you!

Blessings,

Cindy

HI Faith,

I hope I can give some words of encouragement; the wonderful women here have pretty much said it all! I’m fairly practical so I’ll try to offer practical solutions that have worked for me. But you are not alone and I, too have LOTS of ideas going monthly; so I understand, because I get to the point like my brain is going to explode! Everyone is correct here in encouraging you to go to your husband with your feelings of being overwhelmed. Our husband’s don’t like us being that way and are always happy when we ask for their solution to a problem. A quote from a book I’m reading (Passionatge Housewives Desperate for G-d), made me think of you and reinforced what I needed to hear b/c I have a tendancy to go about my affairs without submitting to my husband’s input. The author is repeating what her mother said at a ladies gathering:”Submission is the freedom to be creative under a G-d given authority.Submitting to my husband does not stifle my gifts; it puts them to their best use. My husband wisely directs the projects I undertake in the home and helps me to see when I am taking on too much. He knows my talents and can often tell me how best to use them.”

When I feel what you’re feeling, I take anywhere from 2 days off to a week. My children are 8 and 7 and they continue to learn during my “hiatus”. I’ll add in a couple more educational videos in, encourage more art, put on classical music and lots of G-dly music (vital for me to be renewed); there’s always plenty of books around and my son always starts another project or two! If you haven’t had one before, I would ask you to consider establishing a “rest” or “quiet” time during which they aren’t to come out of their rooms (except bathrm. )for a time period. We do at least 1 hour but usually more. But no scheduling; during that time I won’t even go onto the organizer(Sonya cover your ears!). I want to assure you that the children will be fine. I have a chronic health situation and children can learn so much “by osmosis”. You’re not being lazy, either by doing this. During that time, I journal my feelings which cuts through the clutter in my mind. I keep notes already about my school year; what each is using, what my goals are, what I want to use in the future, but at this time I’ll review my schedule to see if I need to slice something and add in others that I had let slide. Of course I don’t do this schedule review until after I’m refreshed.

Definitely make an easy items grocery list, all the way from breakfast, snacks, lunch and supper. If at least one of your children are 7 or 8, they can help. My son always seems to know when I need him to make breakfast or lunch! Now since your brain may have fatigue (mine gets that way) some ideas for breakfast are cereal ( or make a big batch), english muffins, oats. For lunch, stuff for sandwiches (children can easily make their own) and items they can easily grab for themselves to complete a lunch, like pickles, cheese, carrots/broccoli and dips, easy fruit to grab. Dinner, go through your crockpot cookbooks and make several. Have frozen pizza, hot dogs, soup, etc, maybe even eat out once! I agree with Cindy, scale down your ‘to do’ list to the bare basics, nap and’or go to bed early. Oh, and with the laundry, recruit the children more than you normally would do. YOu may discover they can do more around the house than you are letting them do now.

Lastly and most importantly, sing/pray while your going about your scaled down business, cry out to the L-rd about your struggles. One of my favorite verses in addition to Psalm 121, that I meditate on is 1 Peter 5:7 7 “Throw all your anxieties upon him, because he cares about you.” I also aproach from spiritual warfare persective, too. Put on the armor or G-d, specifically the helmet of salvation. Put it on! Remember that Satan wants us to doubt ourselves, then he wins against raising a G-dly seed to take dominion over the earth. James 4:7 encourages us on what to do when satan is crouching and prowling around like a lion (notice he isn’t a lion, there’s only one Lion of JUdah)waiting to devour. He tells us:”Therefore, submit to God. Moreover, take a stand against the Adversary, and he will flee from you.” Ask G-d to transform you by the “renewing of your mind” as He promises (can’t remember where)and He will. Specifically ask pray against the guilt. Guilt is not from G-d, whereas conviction is; guilt paralyzes, therefore I put it in the warfare category! Simplify.

I’m sorry this is so long, but I was compelled. Also, call a Titus 2 woman in your life to speak to, that will exhort you and hold you accountable and with her wisdom of her years, tell you what you need to hear. I always need it! My friend says, tell me about your day so I do. That alone shows me how unlazy I am, just scattered and ovewhelmed. She will help you simplify and prioritize, too. She’ll show you what your doing RIGHT!

Praying shalom for you,

Rachel

It is amazing to me that the feelings Faith described in the original post are not just similar, but exactly the same as so many of us. I live in an area that is short on homeschoolers and so often I feel isolated (which is when these overwhelming emotions seem to take over!), so I am so thankful for SCM and all you ladies who reach out and share in this forum. It truly makes me feel like God is reaching out, taking me by the hand and leading me in His way…so you guys are being the hands of Jesus and I am very blessed by you.

Cindy, after I read your response I felt like I had permission to take some time to regroup…isn’t it funny that as adults we feel like we need someone to give us permission to have some ‘down time’?

Thanks to all of you for your encouraging posts. Thank you Faith for starting this topic (it takes courage to be open and real, especially when things aren’t going the way we want them to!!!!)

Blessing to all,

mj

Faith,

When I read your post I couldn’t help but feel united with you and all the others who suffer this way. I had JUST spoken with a good, older friend about the same thing and was uplifted by her wisdom. My problem is that these overwhelming feelings get me questioning my vocation. I start to question why God chose me – “He had to have known how ‘bad’ I’d be at all of this”. I have to laugh about this very comment right now because I’m not on a low anymore. To think, God not knowing what He’s doing!! Satan is always so quick to steer us away.

This quote by Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta (given to me by another dear friend) really hit home for me:

Don’t give in to discouragement. If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride because it shows you trust in your own powers. Never bother about people’s opinions. Be obedient to truth. For with humble obedience, you will never be disturbed.

I’m not sure if this is true for anyone else, but it sure is for me. Oftentimes, I find myself counting on my own strength (which is very little) and not our Lord’s.

Praying for our Lord’s peace to all,

Rebecca