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Having troubles!!!!
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So, my kids and I are at my in-laws now for the month. My husband is five and a half hours away. I was planning on working on setting up a routine that we could take with us wherever we go. The kids need some sort of stability while our lives are so “up in the air”. I was also wanting to start establishing some good habits ( some things got undone while they were in the care of various other people). However this has proven harder than I first thought. I think things are getting worse! The kids are scared of my father in law and feel out of place in their home. I admit that I do as well. My mother in law is trying so hard to be helpful, but her personality is much more outgoing than mine and she has a tendency to “take over” situations that I should be handling. Their behaviour is getting worse and the the underlying causes for the bad behaviour is not getting dealt with here. I don’t think that saying anything to my mother in law is the best thing to do as she is offened and hurt easily and we do need to live with them for a while still. The only thing I know to do is pray, but would also like some practical suggestions to be the mother my kids need and start making some progress in the habits, behaviours and routines department.
-Miranda
Definitely keep praying for God to help you, but immediately I think that you need to seperate yourselves as much as possible. Is it possible to go to the Library to do some school work or stay out longer at other places? Try to be out of the house more, so that you are away from the in-laws but not having to offend. I don’t remember where you are at, but most malls have indoor playgrounds you could go to. I know you have been sick, so you probably wont want to stay out, I don’t have any other suggestions. Maybe you could mention this to your husband and see what advice he would give, as he will know his parents better.
Is there a basement or someplace in the house where you can hole up with the kids to set up your own household within your mils?
Thanks for your response. I will try to separate as much as possible. It is going to have to be close, as I don’t have a vehicle here ( plus I havn’t been able to drive since my illness) and it is cold and full of snow. I don’t think there is a library in the area, but maybe I will be able to find another place. Thank you for your prayers, they are much appreciated.
-Miranda
Give yourself grace and time, dear Miranda. There will be an adjustment period, because this event was a big change for everyone involved. So keep your goals in mind, but don’t be surprised if it takes a little time for everyone to “find their feet” in the new situation. Focus on just one habit first, if you can, so you won’t feel so overwhelmed.
We’re praying for you. It’s a comfort to know that God is with you just as much in this new place as in the old place. He made the move with you. In fact, He has gone ahead of you to prepare the way for you, and He will guide you each step of that way. Be of good courage!
Thank you for your prayers! Your right, God is with us and I know that we can take this experience and learn and grow from it if we allow God to do the work in us. However, I am still really looking forward to being together as a family again in a house that we don’t share with other people! I know this move was from God and that He will be with each of us all the way. I am just wanting to be the mother my kids need right now and handle these situations with grace and wisdom. It feels as though I have no clue most of the time. I guess I just need to trust God to lead me in the way I should go and try to let God take over when I am at a loss as to what to do.
Again, thank you for your prayers, advice and encouragment. Hope you all have a great CHRISTmas season!
-Miranda
I think thats the best advice from Sonya, don’t be overwhelmed at the whole situation but take one thing at a time. My 2nd son has always been extremely strong-willed and hyperactive. He is fearless and daring, we have had stitches, a broken bone, and several black eyes before 5! I remember when he was younger I was in tears most days trying to control him and watch over him so he didnt kill himself. I learned to fight one battle at a time with him and take it one day at a time. Start with something small to help you build confidence, maybe table manners or something little like that. Each day work on it and don’t be discouraged if some days it feels like nothing has changed at all. You are in my prayers.
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