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Have we outgrown our church? LONG
- This topic has 18 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 4 months ago by
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I can only give you the experience of what we have done. I was raised in the church in the UK and there was no such thing as children leaving parents to do their own thing. We were expected and welcomed into the main church service and that is how I grew up. We were taught to pay attention, to sit still and behave – we had litttle booklets that we could scribble in (take notes lol) and things like that. Then afterward we would meet for fellowship and adults and children were all together. We raised our children the same way while in the UK – when we got here everything was rather different, the services we attended never had children in them, they were in children’s church and it seemed very alien to me. Our daughters were young teens by then so we kept them with us – we were terribly pressured to send them to the youth group, but always said no – the girls did not want to. We asked about the activities and the girls thought it was very immature stuff and not worthwhile, so they continued to attend with us even though a lot of folk thought us odd. This past year we have been having our time with God at home, mainly for health reasons and because a lot of times my husband is away and I do not drive. Do we miss the church family – right now I say it is not a terrible issue because we meet with many Godly people during our other activities. I imagine one of these days when health issues are resolved and hubby is home more we will return to the bricks and mortar church – in the meantime we are enjoying what we are doing. I will not say what is right or wrong for you – for me though I cannot imagine not having my children with me in the main service, it just seems natural. Blessings, Linda
I have to be honest — the family-integrated church movement sometimes seems to goes hand-in-hand with a LOT of stuff that I find worrisome (most of which Thatmom covers in the post linked to earlier). I guess if you’re fully aware of what else can come in the FIC package, and that works for you, I don’t see a problem 🙂
I personally come from a religious tradition that was always “family integrated” — at most Catholic churches, nurseries are practically unheard-of, and if they do exist, they’re only for very tiny kids. My own personal position is that it’s great for very little kids to have a place to go where they are comfortable and won’t be expected to behave beyond what’s age appropriate. (Getting a toddler to sit through a three-hour Easter Vigil Mass is, frankly, an exercise in futility!) But I believe that past the age of 5 or 6, kids should be with their parents at the service — and nurseries should ALWAYS be voluntary.
Thank you all for your wealth of insight and encouragement. I really feel like God is asking me to leave this in my husband’s hands. He know my thoughts and feeling and I trust him to make the best decisions for our family. It will be hard either way but God is ever faithful. I’m definitely taking the words from each of you and pondering them in my heart. I probably will not be commenting again for some time while I take a hiatus from the internet to pray about this situation. Thanks again! Love in Christ-Britney
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