Hard Pregnancies?

I didn’t read all of the posts, but yes.  I have had three difficult pregnancies and now have two beautiful children. I was so sick during the first pregnancy that I was hospitalized for over a month.  Everytime I went 24 hours without vomiting they tried to take me off the gravol and I’d start vomiting again.  I amnaged to get out the week before Christmas.  I went to an ultra sound the week after new years and they couldn’t find a heart beat.  Apparently the baby had died about two weeks earlier.  I had been about a month into the second trymester.  That was seventeen years ago. 

I was miserable sick again with our first son, the second two trymesters were not bad, but labour was not that easy.  After 32 hours of labour — contractions every minute and a half, they decided I wasn’t progressing and they needed to send me to a different hospital twenty minutes away for a C-section.    I was sick through the entire third pregnancy, though it did ease up somewhat comparatively through the second and third tymester with our youngest.  I even threw up the day he was born.  Caring for my then 3 year old while so physically ill was enough for me to say, no, I can’t do it again.  We’d only been living here a few months when I learned I was expecting our second, and have no family near by.  At the time we hadn’t been living here long enough for me to even know anyone let alone someone I could feel comfortable asking to help out.  It was a very isolated feeling. 

My husband only ever wanted two children, so it was a fairly simple decision at that point for him to have a vasectomy.  Sometimes I regret that decision, or feel that we should have waited two years like I had originally asked him too.  Mostly when I see other people who have lots of children (many of our friends have 4 or 5 kids) or a brand new baby or even a toddler. But that feeling quickly goes away. (Part of it may be that I’m pushing 40.) I have always had it in my head and heart that we could always adopt — preferably a toddler or older child, maybe even a sibling group.  When my husband had the vasectomy we talked about this and he seemed to think that that would be a good option if we choose that a few years down the road.  Seven years later I know he really has no interest in adopting more children.  That makes me sad in some ways, and yet I do understand.  He’s been getting restless at work and I think the idea of needing to afford a bigger house or the cost of more children, as well as the limits having more children would place on us, is unapeeling to him.  I just pray about it, leave it in God’s hands.  If it is meant to be, then He will bring it to be.  In the meanwhile, I am more than content to have our happy little family with my dh and two wonderful boys!  Praise God! 

(Now I’d better go wake them up!  I’m going to be late getting to the office today!!!!)

Hello, I can relate to being very sick during pregnancy. I have 6 children so far and all pregnancies have been bad. For 5 of them I have been on IV’s due to dehydration. For 4 of them I had to hav a picc line put in (an IV straight to the heart) so that baby and I would get nutrients. I have IV’s till around 20 weeks. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. All that said, we are trying to seek God about more children as well. As a young woman I was convicted in letting God rule my life, letting Him be in control even in how many children I would have. Now after all the sickness and hospitalization and IV’s etc I guess I am questioning as well. I just feel so bad for my other babies who abruptly have to stop nursing due to me being so dehydrated that I have no milk left. However one med that has worked to help some is Zofran, Not sure if they have that in Africa but it is worth asking about. The one major thing I have learned is that during those “dark days” as I call them, crying out to the Heavenly Father and trusting Him is huge. Trust only comes by going through something hard and seeing Him carry you through it. He doesn’t always take away the trial but He promises to walk with you encouraging you one step at a time through it. I feel for ya sister, it is no picnic. I pray that you would be still and wait on HIm. Don’t make any decisions right now. Seek His will for your life and wait until He makes it clear what the next step is. I know many women who regretted stopping themselves from having more children. They regret it so much that their hearts are hurting all the time from their decisions. Each of my 6 have been truley a gift. The Lord has used them specifically for growing and blessing me and those around me. The last 3 were even given special names by Him and brought at the most amazing times. Wait on Him and He will renew your strenght.

I thankfully have not had hard pregnancies until this last one. At 11 weeks we were bleeding extensively. It was very scary. The first doctor that we saw was going to send us home thinking that we had lost the baby. My husband even went out and told our four kids that the baby had gone to heaven. Looking at me he could tell that I wanted more answers so he finally said that we could try to find a heart beat. The most beautiful sound I have ever heard. He also said that he was worried about were I was having pain and tenderness and mentioned the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy. This was a fear that I had had becuase I had been having soem sharp upper pains that I had never experienced with any of my other pregnanies. I told my husband that it would be much worse to be faced with an ectopic pregnancy than losing a baby peacefully. Would I have to make a horrible decision? As the moments ticked by we just keep giving it to the Lord. So we flew over to a larger hospital and had to wait the next day until we found out anything. My about 1/3 of my placenta had torn away from the uterus. We have been careful and slower about things. I am now around 24 weeks and loving that I can feel the baby moving. We might have to go back over and have the baby early if it is not getting enough nutrients. At this point we have decided that it is our last. However, we have said that twice before and have had two more wonderful blessings.

Somethiing that my husband had told me from the first pregnancy is that taking care of myself is the best way to take care of the baby. This time around he is encouraging me to take it as easy as I can. If I don’t help out as much, and the kids don’t get to do sports, or play instruments this year- that is okay. Theses are relatively small sacrifices to make compared to the health of our baby. Even if we end up only meeting this baby in heaven we want to do all that we possibly can to help it enter this world healthily. To have nothing to feel regretful about no matter the outcome. One of my friends lost a baby in the womb and she believes it was because she was doing too much heavy lifting. I don’t want added guilt to deal with as well as the sadness of the loss of a child. Thankfully my husband is very helpful, understaning, and encouraging. So remember don’t feel guilty about taking it easier you are helping the baby along. When I only had one child I felt as though I always had to entertain him as it was only him and I for hours during the day. As I have had more children I see that some independant time is good now and then. Also if you do end up having more later. Your first two will entertain one another. We have often told people that two is easier than one, because they occupy each other. You will enjoy the blessing of seeing siblings interact.