I just watched Laying Down the Rails and ordered the book. I sat down and made a list of six habits for each child to work on over the next year. I was planning to start each child on the habit I think they need the most work on (that would be attention for my son and obedience for my daughter). But they have three habits in common on their lists (attention, order, and diligence). Would it be easier to start with those instead of trying to train them in different habits at the same time? In the workshop Sonya mentioned doing attention first because training in other habits is easier if they are already paying attention. On the other hand, I have let my daughter get into the habit of being disobedient, and that causes a lot of stress around here. 🙁 I know that either way, over the course of a year they can develop all six habits on their lists. I’m just wondering how others have started.
Yes, depending on the ages of your children, it might be better for your sanity to choose one habit for the whole family to work on together. That may mean that it’s easier for one child than for another, but you wouldn’t be trying to keep track of six habits at once.
If you have older children (probably mature double digits), you could explain how habit formation works and encourage each older child to work on an additional habit besides the family one.
In one of her classes (can’t remember if it was LDTR or The Early Years) Sonya mentioned starting with:
1 Attention
2 Obedience
3 Truthfulness
I have found these to be a good jumping off place as well as foundational to some of the other habits. Hmmm, this seems like a good reminder to myself……think I’ll go and re-watch LDTR :o)
In LDTR she did talk about starting with those three. My kids are generally truthful, so I feel like we have that one under control. My 11yo is obedient, but he has a real problem with attention, so I want to start with that one for him. My daughter has an attention problem, too, but her disobedience is an even bigger issue. I decided to go ahead and start with obedience for her and the 3yo and attention for the 11yo. He is my easy one; we talked about it and I am just not repeating things and letting him have the natural consequence when he doesn’t listen. With the younger kids, I am making a conscious effort to be consistent with discipline when they disobey. Because I am focusing on those two habits instead of trying to work on everything and feeling overwhelmed, it is going really well! When I see the other problems, instead of feeling discouraged, I tell myself that we will get to that later this year. I am LOVING this approach.