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Habits
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I have a couple of questions regarding habits. I’m asking for help, please. 🙂
1) Habit of Attention: My ds13 is a good reader. However, through other forums (Poor Speller) I’ve realized that I’ve let him read without me overseeing/hearing as much as I should. This in turn, I believe, has hindered his habit of attention as well.
So does anyone have any advice on instilling the habit of attention in a 13yo boy? Especially at the age where he knows everything already. 😉 Don’t get me wrong he is a sweet boy but of course its this age that every child goes through.
Also do you have any suggestions on living books that we could read as a family that would give a story of how important the habit of attention is?
2) I have five kids with the youngest not even 1yo. Ideas on how to cultivate the habit of attention and other habits with this many children?
Yes, some habits can be worked on as a family. This being of course the habit of attention. But then how to deal with that and a busy 1yo?
3) I do have the LDR for Children but my oldest two just don’t seem interested in it. Any ideas?
Sorry for the long post but your help is greatly appreciated. I’m trying to get these ideas down in my head before we start school again for the new year.
Happy New Year!
I have a 13-year-old boy, too, so I will be interested in feedback here. 🙂 We started hsing just last year and we started out really butting heads but I am so thankful to have stuck it out bc I think we are closer. He is the oldest of six (3 boys, 3 girls). Sometimes he “knows it all,” too, but hearing that it is common is helpful. I need to be patient w him.
We started the year w the habit of “Cleanliness” and then moves to “Sweet, Even Temper.” Today I checked on the boys’ bedrooms–squalor. I went for a walk and told them to take care of it.
I think that since starting CM I really appreciate short lessons for the habit of attention. They actually do listen to the little poems and stories in LDR–maybe bc it represents a little break from the math, etc. the way that picture or music study does. If it’s nice we will sit outside and read from it or maybe during lunch or something.
- I’m going to add one thing here in case it’s helpful. My 13yo participates in football and wrestling so we have a built-in 6 minute car ride to and from practices together most days. Having these little snippets of time alone w him each day gives ME a chance to practice the habit of attention w him. If our sons see us putting the phone aside, leaving the radio off and really trying to listen to them then maybe they will learn to be more attentive, too.
This doesn’t directly answer any of your questions about attentiveness, but I have two thoughts to offer on the relationship side of things:
1) He is on the brink of manhood, and is beginning to feel the need for your respect (same as our husbands, our sons have a deep need for respect).
2) Read Little Britches by Ralph Moody aloud together if you haven’t already, or read it again if you have and its been a while… But especially read Man of the Family (next book in the series). It’s a great family read aloud, or it could be a wonderful way to spend some quality one on one with just him… Whichever works, just as long as you DO it! This was a priceless help to me in giving me a vision for what our relationship could be and how to find ways to let him be a man and appreciate his efforts. I started to lean on him more to do anything that could feel manly, and express my appreciation for it at every opportunity. You just have to read it, and you’ll see what I mean:-) He loved it too and has recommended the series to friends who haven’t read it yet.
Anniepeter, I am grateful for this suggestion. I have heard of the Little Britches books but never gotten them. My oldest and second oldest sons are reading Boyhood and Beyond and narrating to their dad but when they finish it maybe this would be good to read next. It is really important to me to navigate their coming-of-age well and not fall prey to the lowered expectations that society has for this age group.
:-). Just make sure you read Man of the Family with him, and dinet leave that one for Dad. It’s too good for you to miss! It was as much (or more) good for me, as him ;-). I just love that Momma… I’m looking forward to reading it with my next son soon.
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