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Habit training myself
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How does one form new habits for themselves?
My biggest problem is consistancy. I can say to myself, “I want to change this…” and stick with it for a few days, but then something distracts me or I’m tired and not thinking clearly and I forget that I am trying to do things differently and I slip back into old habbits.
This is problomatic mainly because the things I am trying to change in myself are how I react to the children misbehaving (i.e. not yelling, but natural consiquenses) and cleanliness and frugality.
I know all the tips about one habit at a time, it takes 21 days, etc… but I don’t know how to remember I am trying to do things differntly. I feel I am in an endless cycle of trying to change, then slipping back into old habbits, then trying to change again, then slipping again.
The only thing I can think of is notes, but I would need sticky notes all over the house to remind me, and I’m not sure I would see them when I need the reminder. Any thought on how keep my learning habit in the forfront of my mind?
I have the same problem!
For cleanliness, Flylady was helping me make it a habit…. until it wasn’t? I’m trying to get going at fluttering again. sigh….
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone! I started reading Laying Down the Rails…. and realized that I needed someone to lay some rails for me! LOL
Carrie
I’m so with you!!
Post-it notes do help me. What also helps is recognizing when I’m back-sliding and acknowleding what’s happening rather than giving up completely. Okay, if I had a bad day, I can re-group and continue on. And I remind myself of how GOOD I feel when I do stay with the good habits. Good habits FEEL good.
And I realized that I often set myself up for failure – making my goals too rigid and too high. I now try to be nicer to myself while still having high standards. For example, I make sure I set my mornings up to be nice so it’s fun to get out of bed and begin the day – maybe a nice mug for my coffee that makes me smile, tasty treat for pre-breakfast dessert (!), a fun project to work on while meditating or praying before I start daily chores, etc.
I also use a specific spot in our church Sunday service to check in with myself. I ask myself week after week how I’m doing with my habit training – some weeks I feel pretty good about my progress and other weeks I know I stumbled more than I walked – and I ask for forgiveness for my failings. I receive forgiveness, of course, and that gives me a boost to try again the next week.
CM has been so great for me personally because I am addressing habits in myself. I don’t know if I would do this habit training with myself without CM’s encouragement. (And it’s given me more patience with dealing with my kids’ habits.)
Oh my goodness! I have this big problem too. I want to be so nice to the kids, but some days there are so many reasons why that’s so hard.
Anyway, Esby’s post made me remember something I learned in a college course I just finished. It’s a memory trap. You put something unusual in your pocket or some reminder where you’ll see it and it jogs your memory. I’ve tried it a few times, and it works. The other day I put an oatmeal box in the kitchen floor to remind myself to do something, and I remembered. That’s funny, but it worked. Of course I couldn’t see something in the floor some days for all the stuff already there. Anyway, it’s an idea.
Good luck to us all!
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