Name: Thrive! NCHE Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-05-22T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-05-24T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Winston-Salem, NC

This topic has 12 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 2 months ago by venusmom.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)

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February 2, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Hope
Member
This is my first year of homeschooling our 6 yo. We also have a 4yo and 3yo. We’ve been calling this year 1st grade and academically that’s right where my son falls. However, he is a July birthday and we started talking about how at church and other functions where they are broken up by grade level, we’d really prefer him to stay back a year. So, we decided we will just call next year 1st grade also. Our thoughts are it will be easier to do this now and I really don’t think our son will care. We will just keep moving along to where is academically as one of the joys of homeschooling is that we don’t really have to have grade levels, but I’m just wanting to make sure there are not down-sides to doing this. So, I’m asking all you veteran homeschoolers, is there any reasons we shouldn’t “repeat” first grade?
February 2, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Doug Smith
Keymaster
We never bothered deciding what grade everyone was in. In fact, whenever someone would ask our children what grade they were in they would stand there silent and look at us. Of course we would answer with the question “in which subject?” The kids enjoyed the clever answer and eventually picked up it themselves. We like how this often results in a discussion about the flexibility of homeschooling and tailoring an education to each child.
February 2, 2011 at 9:31 pm
Rachel White
Participant
Hi Hope,
It sounds like you have to decide on a grade level for the purpose of your son’s extracurricular classes. There’s nothing wrong with repeating subjects that your child needs more work on, however, I would warn you of the potential that having a ‘grade level’ at home may put on you and your child. For example, if he has to repeat some actual work then that could create an “I’m behind” attitude that doesn’t lend itself well in a HS setting-it puts unecessary pressure on you and your child and can create some serious discouragement, IMO. I would encourage, at home anyway, to emphasis G-d’s giftings for that child, personal ability and effort based results, not arbitrary grades.
That leads us back to the original question. I would venture, from personal experience and also of other HS’ler’s to say that your children will probably be ahead of the others at your church and other situations where there’s mixing w/public school children. So you may find that keeping him back, may not be very helpful to him in his development, both spiritually, academically or behaviorally (unless he’s just really immature, as many boys can be). I say spiritiually because, to be honest, you and your children are going to be studying the Bible more and generally spending more time on this area than are public school children.
I don’t know if I’ve answered your question or maybe I’ve just made a long-winded answer. Please let me know if I need to clarify as I don’t know if I put down on paper well enough nwhat I was thinking in my mind!
Rachel
February 2, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Hope
Member
Doug, Thanks for sharing. Honestly, while I know we are not necessarily in a specific grade at home, I’ve never thought about just not naming the grade even though we never refer to one at home. I love the response of “in what subject?” It’s so true.
Rachel, thanks for our response. Your second paragraph definitely gives me something to think about. He’s not immature and he’s very bright. My dh was a youth pastor for 10 years and now a senior pastor and our thoughts were that we don’t want him in the youth group at “6th grade.” But I guess if we don’t name a grade at all, we can just explain to him that he can go when we feel he is ready.
I work with a group of elementary kids at our church on Wed. nights. They break it up by grade level so I have 2nd through 5th graders. They are constantly asking each other “What grade are you in?” How do your children answer this?
You’ve both given me some food for thought. I’d love to hear how others handle this as well. As you can probably tell, we are rarely around other homeschoolers so I never hear how they respond to these kinds of things.

February 2, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Sara B.
Participant
I technically have the opposite problem from you. My 4yo is a November bday, but she is actually a year “ahead” of her peers, who won’t start K for 2 years, whereas she will be starting K next fall. We did 3K with her when she turned 3, and we are in 4K now. For Sunday school, it doesn’t matter this year or next, as preK and K are together. But after that, we will have to decide where/how to place her, and if the church has any “rules” for it, per se. We also will have that problem for extracurricular activities, such as Pioneers at church and 4-H (both start at grade K).
My 2nd dd has a July bday, but since we put her in 4K at our church’s school at our old church before HS’ing, she is “on track” for grade level. Which is actually good for her. She’s right where she needs to be developmentally. We do use “grade levels” for now, mostly for me to keep track of where we’re at in our Big Picture planning, but as the kids get older, and especially when our 4yo is doing “regular” school a year earlier than her peers, it may not be as important and we may drop it altogether.
Don’t know if any of that helped, but at least you know you’re not alone.
Sara 🙂
February 3, 2011 at 1:14 am
Rachel White
Participant
Hope,
Our Congregation’s children’s classes on Tues. are broken up more tightly than yours, so they are in the 3rd/4th class (there’s 1st/2nd; 3rd/4th; 5th/6th). They’ve never mentioned to me that they were asked that question. It’s only been in front of me with adults that it has happened. The answer we’ve come up with is a variation of “we’re homeschooled and my son does some 4th and 5th grade work and my dd does some 3rd and 4th grade work, whatever they’re capable of doing” or some version of that. They have had that question asked my tof them in the neighborhood and they handled it appropriately. They’ve had to deal with negative (might I venture to say-ignorant?) comments from our small neighborhood here, so they’re prepared. However, they know that they aren’t in a particular grade.
They stay in the Sanctuary on the Sabbath for services and do not go into the children’s classes which are held simultaneous to the Message.
Mine will not be going into an upper youth group, so I won’t have the issue you raised either. After each has their bar and bat Mitzvah (age 13), they will come into the Scripture study for adults, listening to meaty teachings and maturing into young adult Believers, instead of being a part of the ‘teen culture’ that exists in youth groups (I won’t send them to high school and watch movies, or listen to music that depict modern “teen” themes so why would I throw them in with those who are a part of it and an environment that is influenced by it?). IMO, they perpetuate adolescence and perhaps even divert them during a pivotal time from our influence onto their peers and youth leader for issues which are ours to address.
I hope I addressed your question without getting too much on a soap box for you!
Blessings,
Rachel
February 3, 2011 at 1:24 am
LindseyD
Participant
Hey Hope!
I asked a similiar question a while back. Here’s the link to that thread: http://simplycharlottemason.com/scmforum/topic/what-grade-2
Blessings!
Lindsey
February 3, 2011 at 1:29 am
suzukimom
Participant
I have the problem that my 5yo has a very very early January birthday, but is advanced and gifted…. she just turned 5 and is doing “Grade 1” type of work. (Reading, doing math, etc…)
But – our church goes on age on December 31st.   So, she is in a class of kids that turn 5 this year. Actually, she is with just one other boy, who turns 5 in late November… so is almost a year younger, and very disruptive during the “sharing time” which has kids from age 5 to 8 together. (well, the kids turning 4 this year start joining sharing time in July…)   It is frustrating at times. If she had been born 1 week earlier…. sigh.
If she was in Public School, in the division we live, they are adamant of the December 31st cutoff – so she wouldn’t be starting Kindergarten until September!    (Last year I had a friend that had moved from another province with a daughter with a January birthday, who had spent 7 months in Kindergarten… and they wouldn’t let her in Kindergarten in our school division!
Most activities here are done by age… generally with a Dec 31st deadline. Sigh…. (Her original due date was Dec 25th… and with calculations for cycle, I’d figured Dec 31st… we also missed a year of Tax Deduction for her.
lol… I’ve gone on long enough…

February 3, 2011 at 1:47 am
Rachel White
Participant
Our Congregation goes on a Sept cut-off; my son is a Sept. 3rd baby. Technically, he would’ve had to wait another year before starting his Bar Mitzvah classes-a year late and with him already having 4 yrs. of Hebew I took my cause to the Rabbi!
So anyway, I told him of the situation and he said it would be fine to start into the classes this Aug. (just one mth. before he turns 11-it’s a two year class). He knows Jacob very personally, we’ve been there his entire 10 years, so he said it was’t a problem; he knows Jacob’s ready to get started come Fall and shouldn’t wait another year. Whereas my dd is the opposite and I may intentionally hold her back a year because she has learning delays and the class is very intensive.
So perhaps, Suzukimom, consider getting a waiver??
Rachel
February 3, 2011 at 2:15 am
Hope
Member
Thanks for pointing that other topic out Lindsey! Sounds like we are in the same place. I just missed you posting that thread for some reason.
Sounds like I just need to prepare ds for the questions and talk to him about how in homeschooling we don’t need grade levels.
As far where to “put” him at church and things, we’ll just take it year-by-year for now. Right now, it’s just Sunday School (before our worship service) and Wed. night activities that he is with peers and not with us.
February 3, 2011 at 2:20 am
suzukimom
Participant
Hi Rachel…
We actually sort-of had a waiver for a couple of years. When she was about to turn 3, they agreed that she could move to the primary out of the nursery, as the Primary President agreed that it was pointless to have her in nursey another year.And last year she was with the same class until about Novemberish…… [eople had moved, so the boy that was just 4 was in a class by himself…. so they moved her into his class.   I wasn’t thrilled when I found out…. but the teacher was fantastic. But now they have another teacher…. sigh.
February 3, 2011 at 2:26 am
Rachel White
Participant
Hope,
I’m sure you and your husband will figure out what is best for your family!
Rachel
February 11, 2011 at 5:43 am
venusmom
Participant
My dd has a late September b-day & turned 6 last year. She would be K in public school due to her b-day. She is at least a year older than all of the other children in her class and all of her other ‘best-friends’ moved up to the 1st-3rd grade class. I was concerned, but the teacher/children’s minister seemed pretty budge-proof when I discussed possibly moving her up to 1st.  I think it has been good though that she stayed in the younger class; my daughter feels like teacher’s helper – and is actually emerging from this with a new insight on what immature behavior looks like. She is aware of how disruptions are difficult for the teacher and as a result is becoming much more mature and less disruptive than she was. This being said – she is still the appropriate “age” (pre-k – kindergarten) for her class…they just don’t happen to have any other kindergarten age students – and she is only a few days younger than some children who fall into the “1st grade” age bracket.
I guess my point is…this is the advantage of homeschooling…I can put her where she needs to be at home. In group settings though – sometimes I just have to go with the flow a little (so to speak) and God has worked it out to the best for our family. I can understand not wanting your child in the youth group in the 6th grade – thankfully – our church doesn’t put them in youth until 7th – and I think when mine get there – I just might volunteer for a junior youth ministry to avoid them moving into youth until at least 9th! My high schoolers did not benefit from being in youth so early – but even that has not been negative. My senior attends church every week – but has no interest in the behavior of the kids in youth – so he doesn’t attend youth, of his own accord. You are the best person to model what you want in your children – and pray without ceasing – they’ll need it when they are 17! My prayers for you while you decide what to do. (Not sure what is really right – but knowing me – I get a bit bull-headed sometimes – I would start trying to delay the age of a child being put into youth. BUT I can’t tell you how that will work out – I’m just beginning those steps in my church based on what I’ve seen myself from a parent’s perspective through my high-schooler – and in anticipation of my younger children who are still two years away from youth or younger.) Ashley