Going On Trip…Leaving Kids

Shannon, when is the conference? And where in Ohio? We live in Oh about an hour drive from Columbus. I would be happy to watch your children for you. They could stay here and you could too, if you wanted, or just drop them off each day. Just another option!

Do you have a trusted teenager who could come with you to babysit at the hotel or perhaps somewhere in the facility at the conference?

I feel like it is too long to leave my children, and a long time to miss your hubby also.  There has to be another solution.  I’m sorry that I don’t have a suggestion.  Maybe Tristian will be able to watch your children.  Praying for the direction to be very clear. 

~April

Would it be possible for the grandparents to travel with you? If not, would they stay with the kids at your home? If so, you could have food on hand, maybe a few freezer meals, and accept the treats and outings that the grandparents offer. 

I would prefer to have my child with me for that long. Tristan’s offer may work well. Praying for the answer to be made clear.

I debated responding, as it seems that most everyone agrees that leaving for this amount of time would be too much; but since you said you’re open to honesty, I’ll give another perspective. First, to clarify, I’m really going to speak more toward the concern of what they may be eating or exposed to, not the fact that you’ll miss each other. 

A few years ago, my husband and I went on a trip to Uganda, Africa for 17 days and left our children with my parents. Of course, mine were not as young as your’s are, they were 9, 10, & 11 at the time. While there were complications brought on by my brother whom lives with my parents, it was not something we couldn’t overcome. We just had open conversations with the kids about these things and discuss their uncle’s bad choices. Even to this day, we’ll occassionally use his choices as an example in certain conversations. My parents definitely allow soda and junk food more than I do, but really, they couldn’t ruin my child’s health in 17 days. 

Also, if we never let our chidren be exposed to other things, we are setting them up for a quite a shock when they are grown. Of course, I don’t mean that we just let our kids wonder out into the world to be exposed. For example, my brother uses profanity and watches shows that I wouldn’t watch. My children have heard his profanity and this has not caused them to use profanity; even now that they are teens. We just have open and honest conversations about these sort of habits and what life can look like if you are living outside of a relationship with Christ. I don’t really know the nature of my brother’s relationship with the Lord, but I do know that he is not actively walking with the Lord. My children understand that being around other behaviors does not give them an excuse to do them.

I have always taught them that to the level they understand, they are accountable to the Lord. There is no age at which any behavior becomes a sin or at which any sin suddenly becomes appropriate. If you have the mental understanding that something is wrong, then you are accountable for your actions, should you make that choice. Also, they understand that being an adult does not suddenly make things ok, like cussing or watching inappropriate movies, etc. As they have gotten older, they have been exposed to more things in church and in public places. They know what is right, but they also know that not everyone is a Christian. We cannot expect non-Christians to behave according to our expectations. Even if they are a Christian, the Holy Spirit might be working in their lives on something more important and has not yet brought them conviction about the particular sin that we find bothersome. This is part of what has taught them to love all of God’s children and to be able to accept people in a loving way, without condemning them. This is the example of Christ. We can’t go out into the world to save the lost, if we are only around people who already walk with the Lord or if we are too busy judging and condemning. We must develop the ability to be around the sin to shine the light of the Lord while resisting the darkness and not giving into temptation. 

In summary, I guess I’m just saying that if you choose to leave your children for that time period, you have to trust that your work in raising them up cannot be undone in 2 weeks. If it can, then what hope do we have when they go out into the world on their own? Also, if your teaching cannot stand up to 2 weeks with some family members, then it won’t stand up to anything. Someday your children will be receiving information contrary to what you’re teaching and they have to be able to decide for themselves. Obviously, they are not at that age yet, but your 9 year old isn’t far from it…unless you literally keep them in a bubble of only people who meet your specific criteria. 

Also, if it helps, there is an awesome program called Google Hangouts. If you choose to leave them and you have internet access where you are and where they are, this program is an amazing option. Basically, you “call” the person from your computer and they answer. You can see each other on the screen and talk just like you’re in the room. We are preparing to move to Uganda, so my husband has had to make a few trips this year for preparation and planning. We haven’t gone with him because the airfare is outrageous. So, we have made use of Google Hangouts. We even do devotional time and that sort of thing together. It is totally free through internet/wifi. Even from Uganda, we’ve been on for an hour plus with no problem. It is amazing and the kids (and I) love being able to see their father and talk to him. And he loves being able to see us. If you choose to leave them, perhaps that is a way that you can connect every evening, or every few days.