Giving young men more freedom and responsibility

Shanna, IMO it is a good idea to get teens increasingly involved in “doing it themselves” but we have done it pretty gradually. Currently my 15yo has chosen his “extra” topics after some consultation and planning with us. He has had a lot of input into curriculum choices. We have a few “ground rules” such as subjects he cannot completely dispense with 🙂 but give him quite a bit of leeway in choosing what he does and how. The more freedom he has gotten the more interested and involved he has become. He chose a third language and a couple of “extras” for this year and he has been very motivated to work on them. He has chosen several of next year’s books and a video course he wants to do. We divide up the work as Sonya describes in Planning Your CM Education but I let him decide what he does on each day, and he comes to me with completed work and/or narrations.

So I would discuss with dh moving into this gradually. A good place to start is a discussion with ds as to what he wants–is he headed to college? Is there a field or area he is interested in? What does he NEED to accomplish next year and what does he WANT to accomplish next year? Are there some ground rules? I.e., can he completely dispense with literature and history and spend all his time on math and computer games? <vbg> Are you going to give him some choices or just say “Plan your math” Or “Choose consumer math or algebra” Or “You need algebra but I’m going to let you pick the curriculum” or “Here’s your curriculum but I’m going to let you decide how much to do and when” There are lots of shades of this, and I think what is right will depend on your son and his goals/needs. My oldest is definitely college-bound, and also wants to get into a competitive professional school after college. He definitely does need some guidance to make sure he is adequately covering things he will need, such as he would get from a guidance counselor in a high school. (I guess that’s me! LOL) But someone with different goals might need differing amounts of freedom. Also my son needs differing amounts of input from me for various subjects depending on his interest/mastery of them. I do little more than check to see he has what he needs for science, for example, but I am considerably more “hands-on” in literature and writing, as it is an area I am comfortable in and he is not.

So I guess I’d sit down with dh first and settle on some “ground rules” and then take ds out to dinner and present the ideas to him. Tell him how much “free rein” he has, under what circumstances you will step in or not, depending on what you and dh decide, and how much support/input you are available to provide. You might also present him with some alternatives or a checklist or some places to begin, if he’s never done much of this before.

Shanna,

Can you expound on how your son will be getting his certification? What are the steps that a person needs to take toward working with computers? My son too likes computers — we just figured he needed college too.

Thanks,

Hi Shanna,

My 13yo ds started doing his work independantly about six months ago and absolutely loves the freedom it brings him. I’ve seen him take ownership of his school work like never before. We go over his schedule together each week and talk about the goals that he wants to accomplish and/or his dad and I want him to accomplish – he writes them down in his own planner and off he goes come Monday. He checks them off as he completes them. He finds confidence and satisfaction in this because he is the one who wrote the goals down and the one who checked them off. He no longer comes to me asking me what needs to be done next or has to wait for me to get started with his day. However, we still do Truthquest History together and evening literature/bible reads with dad. A very helpful mentor to me in this has been Joanne Calderwood. You can find her here if you’re interested….

http://www.urthemom.com/Home_Page.php

Blessings to you & yours,

Heather

Using “Planning Your Charlotte Mason education”, I plan one term at a time. Then, I sit down with my ds and show him the goals for that term such as what books I would like him to read, which math to use, etc. I let him look through the materials and we just discuss them briefly. I ask for his input on the materials and if there is anything that interests him that he might like to pursue or add in.

We then go into the weekly planning and I help him set reasonable goals for himself. I ask him, for example, how many chapters of this book do you think you could complete this week? How about that book? How many modules of science? How many written narrations, etc?

I also help him make reasonable goals so that we can keep on target with the original term outline. Like if he says he only wants to read one chapter for that week, I might say “I think you could easily read one chapter a day, don’t you?” or if he says I can read 3 chapters a day, I might say “well that sounds great but you have a lot of other books your reading this week, so how about you shoot for one chapter and then maybe you can read more in your free time if you want to”

As we’re discussing this, he’s writing down 1 chapter in The Bronze Bow each day of the week(for example)and written narration on Friday. One lesson a day in Teaching Textbooks, etc, etc.

This only takes about 20 minutes a week and he’s beginning to set the weekly goals with less guidance – now that he’s in the swing of things and knows which books I expect him to read, etc.

I hope this makes sense. He is using “The Homeschool Student Planner” by Joanne Calderwood. She explains in detail how to go about doing this and discusses the theory behind it here

http://www.homeschoolstudentplanner.com/plannerintro.htmt

Another thing, you might want to do if your ds has not worked independantly before, is to first write or print out a weekly schedule for him, and then let him check it off as he goes. We started out this way. However, I’ve found that my ds finds it very rewarding to set goals with my guidance and write them down himself thereby feeling like he owns his studies and its not just mom wanting him to do it for her…..

Hi Shanna,

To give you an example of the goals he has set this week…..

Monday & Wednesday

Read one chapter in the book of Luke

Read one chapter in “The Story of the Middle Ages”

Read one chapter in “Page Boy for King Arthur”

Complete 2 lessons in TT Math

Write one page of written narration

Read next section in General Science and complete experiment

Practice Piano for 20 minutes

Tuesday is the same except he gives me an oral narration instead of written.

Thursday & Friday are the same except he does the study guide modules for science -writing out all the questions and answers for his writing those days.

That’s his “independant work” for that particular week; things may change a bit next week as new books are added in or completed, etc.

Hope that eases your “curiousity”….

Blessings,

Heather

This year, we’re using TQ MIddle Ages with SCM History Module 4 and its working out beautifully. 🙂 I’ve not figured out a good way to line up the commentary in the same flow as the books listed in the modules yet; so what I’ve done is just start at the beginning with both, scheduling the first books listed in the Module and starting with the first section in the Truthquest guide. The books & commentary seem to cross over and interminge quite well since we’re in the same general time period. Hope that makes sense. I would still love to hear how others do this too.

Blessings,

Heather

Yep, but not “all” the suggested books. Our dc are 13, 8 and 2, so we pick & choose based on interest and reading comprehention & ability.