Giving children physical space for independence

That is an interesting topic of discussion, because the first question you need to address is “Independence from what?” Do you want your child to be independent from his parents’ authority? (And I’m using a generic “you” in this post, meaning anyone considering this discussion. 🙂 ) That kind of independent is not Biblical, as Cindy pointed out, until the child reaches the point of marriage. Do you want your child to be independent from God? Hopefully not; however many people in America don’t realize how much the cultural mind-set of independence flies in the face of God’s Word. Do you want your child to be independent from his peers? Lots of parents exchange dependence on them for dependence on peers, thinking that they are encouraging the child to be independent when they’re really encouraging the child to become dependent on others’ opinions and values.

(Is this making any sense? I’m not sure I’m able to clearly communicate what it is I’m trying to say here! But anyway, moving into the practical arena . . . )

You’re right, Kara, homeschool kids usually have more freedom and can cultivate a sense of independence from typical peer pressure. Especially in CM circles, the children have afternoons available to pursue their individual interests and hobbies. So many kids today are pressed for time and never get an opportunity to pursue their interests fully because they’re involved in lots of outside activities. In providing our children with lots of free time and raw materials, we allow them to explore and take their own risks in areas that interest them. For example, our kids have made several movies together. They have done the research, tried different techniques, taught themselves about the technology, learned about scheduling and directing and scoring and all kinds of other things because they had the time to do it and we encouraged them to pursue it. We have seen them develop a lot of character and appropriate confidence as they have taken those risks and succeeded in some areas and dealt with failures in other areas.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that they are learning to live with confidence in the real world under our parental authority. We are discipling them along the way — guiding, protecting, teaching — and allowing them to take appropriate risks in the safe environment of our home where we can watch what happens and help them deal with the results in a Biblical manner as they happen.

Whew! I feel like I just spit out a bunch of random thoughts. I hope some of these tidbits make sense and help us all think through this great question.