getting rid of kids toys

We clean out a couple times a year, and in fact, I just finished my children’s toys and clothes last week! One of my children is very willing to part with old/unused/junky toys; the other one can’t seem to learn the real definition of “special”, because everything to him is “special”. I was amazed that he wasn’t willing to part with a single stuffed animal, but he willingly decided he no longer needed his HUGE set of Lincoln Logs! LOL

While I used to get rid of things without their help, like you, I had to involve them because they are smart enough to figure out when something goes missing. Also, I wanted them to understand the importance of cleaning out the old, not necessarily to make room for the new, but simply because it makes it easier on them and on me to have less. Less to organize, less to store, less to clean up. That’s the approach I used with my hesitant child this time. I explained that the more stuff he has, the more difficult it is for him to keep his room cleaned, keep those toys organized, and that he can’t possibly play with all of it in a day or even a week. That helped some, when he saw that he could benefit from purging a few things.

Last year, our clean out was non-negotiable because a family was moving into our home to live temporarily with us, and we HAD to make room for them. Actually, that was probably our easiest clean out emotionally, because our coming guests gave the children something to look forward to.

I don’t know how to handle well-meaning grandparents who always have stuff to drop off for the kids. We have one of those too…sigh. I often feel like the Big, Bad Wolf, especially when my kids give me those eyes, like I’m the meanest person in the world. But, we do have standards for what we allow in our home, and the kids understand those too. Our children know what twaddle is, so they don’t make a big deal when we donate twaddly books or toys to Goodwill. One thing I do for birthdays and Christmas is to send a group e-mail to both sets of grandparents with a list of items that would make a good gift. In fact, for ds’s birthday in February, I mentioned that ds wasn’t even asking for toys for his bday (he really wasn’t) and that Christmas had been just six weeks before. So, I typed out a list of good, living books as suggested gifts for him; and to my surprise, we received almost every book on that list and NOTHING else! They actually listened this year!

After last week’s clean out, here’s what we’re down to (not that this is what you should have…just a reference point for where I’m coming from).

Ds8:

• one large tub of Legos, in one of those under-the-bed plastic tubs
• 2 sets Playmobile (stored in a basket under his bed)
• a set of Western cowboy toys (stored in a basket under his bed)
• Matchbox cars and small, misc. toys (stored in a third basket under his bed)
• a large semi-truck and large bulldozer, kept in the closet
• 10-12 stuffed animals, some kept on his bed, some kept in the closet on a shelf
• dress-up clothes, kept in a dresser drawer
• small plastic canister of dinosaurs, kept in his closet

Dd7

• dress-up clothes, hung in a wardrobe
• a play cash register and felt food, kept in wardrobe drawer
• 20 peg people, kept in wardrobe drawer
• play coffee pot, toaster, and mixer, kept on a shelf in her wardrobe
• one set Playmobile, stored in a cute bucket under her bed
• one doll, doll bed, and baby blankets, kept under her bed
• play horses and misc. toys, kept in a matching bucket under the bed
• 10-12 stuffed animals, kept on a shelf in the closet and some on her bed

Typing that out was actually helpful for me because I see that it’s not that much, and I’m very comfortable with where we’re at. Two or three years ago, we probably had twice that amount of toys, and I was constantly organizing and reorganizing them!

I hope you reach your goals and without too many tears ,

Lindsey

Our easiest purging was done when we had to move cross country.  My kids were 2mo, 2y/o, and 3y/o at the time.  I told them for every one stuffed animal they wanted to take to our new home, they had to put 2 in the “give box”.  And for every one toy they wanted to keep they had to choose 1 to give.  At that young age, they did a great job and I kept doing this regularly to keep them in the habit.  Now every month or two I simply tell them to choose 5 – 10 items they would like to give and they do fairly well.  My now 3y/o who was 2mo when we moved hasn’t quite caught on to the “fun” yet though.  She does think she needs to keep everything!

Another tactic I’ve used when toys were way out of control was to set out what containers I was willing to use for toy storage and tell the kids they can only keep what they can fit into the container and still close on their own.

All our kids’ birthdays are in the summer.  Last summer I wrote a letter to all our family and friends who enjoy buying the kids gifts.  I explained that they already had an ample amount of things to play with and that our family wanted to build memories with the kids not accumulate possessions.  I asked if they would consider instead of sending a gift, if they would send a heartfelt note with a picture of themselves in it for us to put in a special birthday scrapbook for each child.  And then also noted if they really felt the REALLY wanted to spend money on our child if they would consider sending a check that we could put towards gymnastics or other sports or muesum admission fees or other family activities that would build experiences and memories rather than accumulate stuff.  

Another Christmas we asked people to contribute towards a family membership to the National Aquarium.  That year was SO much fun! Since there weren’ many gifts, under the tree we blew up balloons to have under the tree and the kids had so much fun playing with them all day they didn’t even notice a lack of presents to unwrap.

 Good luck!

We’ve found having a finite space to hold toys helps when going through them. For example, each child is given 1 small tub (remember, I have 7 children under 11 in a 3 bedroom house). They can put any toys they wish to keep in their tub so long as the lid closes. They can keep X number of stuffed animals (you determine a reasonable number). Then we have a few “sets” of toys we keep in tubs (lego, duplo, toy dishes/food). That’s it. I’ve found having a tub with a lid is key, they can fill it up as we’re going through things but then if it’s too full they have to take out and trade until they have what they can’t live without.

Some of my children have a harder time letting go than others, but if you’re consistent and kind they’ll get through it. And in a few weeks they’ll feel better about having an orderly space. One exception to this might be a child with autism who fixates on specific things. They might have a much harder time letting go and won’t move on. You know your children best. I think we often underestimate our children’s abilities to move on and grow though.

Good luck!

It must be that time of year. I’m doing this right now as I type. I just needed a break and decided to check the forum.

I could completely be a minimalist, except for books. One can never have too many books. 

I have the same issue here.  Both boys have way too much stuff and we are in desperate need to go through and get rid of TONS of stuff.  To be honest we’ve gotten rid of VERY little since we moved in 9 years ago.  Toys they out grow get stuck in the storage room, but now it’s too full.  We keep meaning to have a garage sale, but somehow the season comes and goes and we are nowhere near it.  I have decided that this is the year!  In fact I am hoping the next weekend my dh has off we can at least have one sale.  My strategy is that all money from the yard sale will go towards a family vacation.  They are hoping to go to Disney World again next year.  This sounds like a good incentive to me!

@4myboys, We had 2 garage sales in one year and made about $600. They were very much worth our time and effort. One caution: we had stuff leftover after both sales, and while it can be tempting to put the leftovers back in storage to “save for the next sale”, don’t give in! Get rid of all of it as soon as your sale is over. Don’t look at your leftovers as a loss of profit, but as a gain of space and sanity. After all, you were going to sell it anyway, so load it up in your car, and take it to Goodwill. That’s my 2 cents about garage sales!

@Katrina, the one solution to stop Happy Meal toys from coming into your home is don’t order Happy Meals! hahaha! Seriously, our kids have had 1 Happy Meal in their lives (and that was with grandparents, we have never been to McD’s as a family), and I was so annoyed about the toy. Although fast food is a big no-no in our house, sometimes it is unavoidable. I like that at Chick-Fil-A, the kids can trade their toy for a free ice cream. That’s incentive for both of mine to leave the toy at the restaurant because we never have ice cream. Granted, Chick-Fil-A has MSG in their breading, but that’s another post…sigh.

@ Lindsey,

I’m with you on the Barbie purging, but I don’t want to put that poor excuse for a role model in the hands of any other little girl…..so I just ripped the heads off them myself, walked toward the garbage can, and….she shoots, she scores!

Okay, now that I’ve soiled my reputation with everyone by painting that grisly picture, I’ll quietly slink off to bed….