Gentle?

What a great thread.  After reading this I feel convicted to push my boys more.  I look back over this last school year and realize that I didn’t get the very best out of them all the time.  I know they were not putting for their best effort most of the time.  They were doing what they needed to do to get school done for the day.  Not to say they were not doing a good job, they were.  But not their very best effort.  I know they could of done better.

So this school year we will be working on that.  

Linda, what a blessing to have that background! 

Bookworm, amen and amen.  I have copied your post to be used as a talk I hope to give soon, the first of which will be titled Charlotte Mason – What’s the big deal?  OR Charlotte Mason – Dispelling the Myths.  (If it’s OK with you.)

I love the lively conversation that goes on in this forum. 

I remember CM used the word ‘gentle’ when addressing how authority should behave for parents and teachers – I had prayed that this would be set in my heart because I grew up in a home where yelling was the norm.  CM referred to the centaurion captain that says ‘go’ and the soldier goes (rather than ranting and raving) as well as Christ’s use of His authority, likening us to servants set with the task of authority. 

Looking forward to reading more thoughts.

Richele

When I first read about CM homeschooling while searching for a better way for my family (our first year was difficult), I was very drawn to the word “gentle”. In fact this was a large reason why I chose this method. However, not once was I under the impression that this method would be “tea and crumpets”. LOL! I think it is very interesting how different people can read the same thing and come away with such different thoughts and ideas of what it meant!

My dd was in tears for much of her grade 1 year. I was a few times, myself, as well! It was NOT gentle. It was pressured, it was forced, it did not take the child’s learning style, interests, or capabilities into account.

When I heard CM described as “gentle”, and then upon further reading, I came to the understanding of “gentle learning” to be simply a more natural and peaceful way of learning. In fact “easy” did not enter into my idea of this method at all. Nor have I come across this assumption in homeschool circles either, in fact. I guess I have never had a problem with the “gentlness aspect” of CM because “working hard” and “gentle” are not opposite to one another in my mind. They may even compliment each other in certain areas of life!

Don’t know if that is what you were looking for, Amanda. I tried to explain, as best I could, what “gentle” meant to me in the context of learning in a CM way. HTH!

Blessings,

Miranda

I’ve been doing a little digging and have unearthed a couple of interesting tidbits on this topic of gentleness. Both views that have been so graciously and kindly expressed in this thread (thank you, ladies!) can be supported by Charlotte’s comments in her books. As always, she gives us a good balance. Here is what I found.

On the one hand, we should not lean too far to the idea of gentleness in education as equaling easy academics, warm-and-fuzzy years, and not requiring much of our children. Charlotte warned that this faulty attitude can happen if we focus only on the ‘Education is an Atmosphere’ part of the whole.

“Nineteenth-Century Formula, Education is an Atmosphere.—Meantime, we sometimes err, I think, in taking a part for the whole, and a part of a part for the whole of that part. Of the three clauses of our definition, that which declares that ‘education is an atmosphere’ pleases us most, perhaps, because it is the most inviting to the laissez aller principle of human nature. . . .

Results in Inanition.––But, supposing that ‘Education is an atmosphere’ brings a fresh and vigorous thought to our minds, suppose that it means to us, for our children, sunshine and green fields, pleasant rooms and good pictures, schools where learning is taken in by the gentle act of inspiration, followed by the expiration of all that which is not wanted, where charming teachers compose the children by a half-mesmeric effluence which inclines them to do as others do, be as others are,—suppose that all this is included in our notion of ‘Education is an atmosphere,’ may we not sit at our ease and believe that all is well, and that the whole of education has been accomplished? No; because though we cannot live without air, neither can we live upon air, and children brought up upon ‘environment’ soon begin to show signs of inanition; they have little or no healthy curiosity, power of attention, or of effort; what is worse, they lose spontaneity and initiative; they expect life to drop into them like drops into a rain-tub, without effort or intention on their part.

And Ennui.—This notion, that education is included in environment, or, at the best, in atmosphere, has held the ground for a generation or two, and it seems to me that it has left its mark upon our public and our private lives. We are more ready to be done unto than to do; we do not care for the labour of ordering our own lives in this direction or in that; they must be conducted for us; a press of engagements must compel us into what next, and what next after. We crave for spectacular entertainment, whether in the way of pageants in the streets, or spectacles on the boards. Even Shakespeare has come to be so much the occasion for gorgeous spectacles that what the poet says is of little moment compared with the show a play affords. There is nothing intentionally vicious in all this; it is simply our effort to escape from the ennui that results from a one-sided view of education,—that education is an atmosphere only” (Vol. 3, pp. 148–150).

On the other hand, Charlotte’s descriptions of what gentleness involves has a direct bearing on how we approach the education of our students using her methods.

She described how a pushy, domineering attitude can produce mental fret and discomfort in those around us. 

“Persons hurt in Mind suffer in Body—Gentleness.—But there are other ways of doing bodily hurt to the people we have to do with than by overworking, underfeeding, or directly misusing them. If you hurt people in mind they suffer in body, and it is for this reason that we should not push in a crowd to get the best place—should not jostle others to get the best share of what is going, even if it be a good sermon, should give place gently in walking the streets, should make room on public seats or in railway carriages for others who wish to sit. If we are ungentle in such small matters, we may not do such direct hurt to the persons of others as would make a surgeon necessary, but we produce a state of mental fret and discomfort which is really more wearing. We all know how soothing is the presence of a gentle person in a room; a person whose tone of voice and whose movements show that he has imagination, that he realises the presence of other people whose comfort he would not willingly destroy” (Vol. 4, Book 1, p. 142).

She also talked about the fact that gentleness comes from honor. Respecting the child as a person should result in gentleness toward them.

“Honour begets gentleness to the persons of others, courteous attention to their words, however dull and prosy they may seem to us, and deference towards their opinions, however foolish we may think them. The person whose rash opinions are received with deference is ready to hear the other side of the question and becomes open to conviction” (Vol. 4, Book 1, p. 146).

And she was careful to explain that gentleness does not equal weakness or apathy. In fact, she considered it a supreme force that parents can use in shaping their children.

“It is in the force of all-mighty gentleness that parents are supreme; not feebleness, not inertness—there is no strength in these; but purposeful, determined gentleness, which carries its point, only ‘for it is right’ ” (Vol. 5, p. 201).

So, though I could not find the phrase “gentle art of learning” in Charlotte’s six volumes, we can piece together from her comments that a gentle attitude is important. But a proper understanding of gentleness is paramount.

Gentleness does not mean allowing the children to do whatever they want. It has a purposeful, determined strength that influences those around it to do what is right.

Gentleness does not mean depending solely on the educational atmosphere of the home and hoping the children will learn something as they live there. Charlotte expected much mental effort from her students and carefully planned their full and generous curriculum.

Gentleness respects the child as a person. It is not harsh or abrasive even as it encourages the child to reach high, work hard, and appreciate beauty. 

Thank you for this post.  I have been having some interesting talks with my dh lately… this is perfect to help him understand what we are doing.  He trusts me to take care of the school stuff, and I appreciate him not pressuring me or doubting me.  I also value his advice and opinion. 

I love this forum.  I find so much to help me here.