Name: Thrive! NCHE Homeschool Conference
Start: 2025-05-22T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-05-24T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Winston-Salem, NC

This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 8 months ago by Sue.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

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August 18, 2013 at 2:55 am
Polly
Participant
What is the proper attire for a funeral (including and 8 yr old girl and a 12 yr old boy)? My daughter has a black skirt I made her with small cherries on it. She wears a red shirt with it. Is that ok?
I don’t really have a clue as to what to have my son wear. Help, please?
Thanks,
Polly
August 18, 2013 at 3:03 am
amcampbell4
Participant
Hi Polly,
I’m sorry to hear that you have lost someone close to you!
I have also had to take children to a funeral in the past, and my boys didn’t own suits or really any formal clothing. I had them wear dark navy chino pants and a button down shirt (can’t remember what color). In my opinion, it is less important how children dress for a funeral than how they behave. If they are respectful and quiet, everyone appreciates their presence no matter what they are wearing. I’m sure your daughter’s clothing would be fine.
If your son doesn’t have anything you feel is appropriate to wear, could you perhaps borrow clothing for the funeral? I borrowed suits, ties and dress shoes from church friends for my sister’s wedding last summer. Maybe that would be an option.
Take care!
Anne
August 18, 2013 at 3:03 am
ServingwithJoy
Participant
Oh, Polly, I am sorry to hear you are going to a funeral.
I think people now-a-days are a little more relaxed about clothing rules than they used to be. I would say that a black skirt and red top would be fine for your girl. Your son would be fine in any church clothes, really, though dark would be preferable. For my boys, I would try for dark dress slacks and a white or blue button down shirt. A collar is a must, but not a tie. Dress shoes would be preferable, but sneakers would be ok if that is what you have.
The main thing, in my opinion, is that you make an effort to show respect to the deceased by wearing clothing that is dressier than usual and not too brightly colored/patterned. The idea is not to detract from the attention paid to the family by calling attention to your clothing ensemble.
Hope that helps and God bless.
Heather
August 18, 2013 at 11:24 am
Misty
Participant
We just had a funeral with my 7 children. My boys (14-6yrs) all wore church clothes. To the wake – khaki/navy church pants and a polo shirt (nothing to bold, or full of crazy stripes). To the funeral they wore the same pants & (it was 80) a dress shirt with buttons up the front in a solid color. My girls (younger than yours 4 & 2) wore cute church dresses to the wake darker in color and not all fritzy (is that a word?) and to the funeral we got them tan simple straight cut dresses (all there clothes were in the bold neon in colores and we didn’t think that was good for a funeral).
I agree with the comment it’s more important HOW they act then what they wear. Although I did find some families were way to lax in that idea coming in flip flops, shirts that said things all over them, baseball caps, clothes it looks like they wore any day of the week (talking more kids here but a few adults could have taken a minute to look in a mirror themselves). Praying for you. Your daughters outfit sounds just fine!
August 19, 2013 at 1:51 am
Polly
Participant
Thank you, Ladies! This is their grandpa. It’s a big deal. I’m sure they wil behave – I’m worried about how we looke. :-/
August 19, 2013 at 1:57 am
RobinP
Participant
Praying for you, Polly. I know these are difficult circumstances. God’s grace to you and your children.
August 19, 2013 at 3:31 am
Sue
Participant
I fully agree with Heather and Misty. Whatever church clothes you have for your children would be fine, I’m sure. I’ve seen teen girls at funerals/wakes wearing mini-dresses or brightly-colored sundresses & flip-flops, for heaven’s sake. Eyes may have rolled among more conservative relatives as the ‘fashion-divas’ walked by, but mostly people got over it and went on paying respects.
I’m sure your children will look fine, and if anyone is more concerned with what you & your children are wearing than how to offer comfort to the grieving family members, then that’s really sad.