Frustrations during together time?

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  • momto2blessings
    Participant

    Hi All,

    Together studies feel tiring to me.  Please help me discern whether normal or if I need to change something!  My kids are in 2nd and 5th and are good readers/do well with independent work.  They are very efficient when working alone, want to get their work done quickly, overall.  But when we do our together studies (Bible, Scripture Memory, Poetry, History, Science, Literature, Geography, memory work, and a couple others) I get frustrated with the interruptions.

    For instance, I start reading, someone needs to go to the bathroom, pick-up reading a bit, son wants to paint (I want to encourage and let him, but it’s a 10-min. set-up), read some more, have to keep goofiness at bay, etc.  Plus all the comments while I read—which are most often story related so maybe I should be thankful they’re listening and not frustrated that it’s taking me longer:)  Honestly, it seems tempting to just give each child a list of everything to do and just give guidance as needed.  I enjoy one-on-one time with each child.  But also want to learn certain things together (and learn myself!)

    Together studies take about 1 1/2-2 hrs. per day.  Maybe I just need to break it into 2 slots?  I think my 8yo boy just starts to get antsy, which may be part of the problem. Also, what do you allow your kids to do while you read?  Thanks for any suggestions:)  Gina

    Rachel White
    Participant

    By your wording, are you saying that you do all your family stuff at one time? If so, I would definitely break them up. The same rule that applies regarding brain fatigue and attention regarding different subjets, applies to family read-alouds, too; at least in this age group, IMO. So do Bible, then let them do some independant studies, then another family subject, and on-and-on.

    As for other interruptions (bathroom, questions regarding painting, drawing, etc), it’s up to you to make sure that this is handled before you even begin. A scenario would be-“ok, it’s time for our History!” then to them both to go ahead to the bathroom, to at least try(esp. the 2nd grader), because there won’t be any interruputions during the reading time anymore because it’s disrespectful to me, I’ll decide when we stop”-now you’re going to have to stick to your guns about this to have them take you seriously. At the beginning of this ‘training’, you may have to shorten your reading times aloud to show that you are the one who determines when it’s over, not them. I have a 9 and 10 yr. old; I instituted a ‘quietly raising your hand’ for necessary interuptions; I glance at them while reading and nod or motion to lower it as acknowledgement, then I stop where I choose to in the reading. Sometimes this privilege does get abused, so I just handle it appropriately, but it does eliminate the verbal interuptions and keeps me in charge, not them.

    As for the storyline questions, there’s a couple of ways to handle this. They may be listening but it’s as also a way for them not to use their own wits, but use yours; it’s usually a way to keep from paying attention/listening more deeply and/or being impatient. It’s not just your children, they all try it and so do adults-asking questions about a story instead of waiting and paying attention to find out for themselves. I suggest that, again before reading time starts, telling them that you won’t give heed to any questions about the story until the end. Most questions are answered in the story itself so tell them that their questions will be answered within the story as it progresses if they pay attention. If it’s not, then they will still have the question when the story is over. The 5th gr. can write the question down (an early form of note taking?), just make sure there is always paper and pencil there available so you won’t be interrupted! Also, reducing these interruptions will foster better comprehension skills and narrating skills.

    If your 2nd gr. can paint or draw or do a handiwork and still be able to narrate, then, yes, let him do it. That’s really your call. Maybe not with every read-aloud, as some are shorter than others, I assume. Some children can focus better if their hands are occupied. Some people have their children’s drawings be reflective of the storyline-a type of narration. Just get this handled before the read-aloud begins; it’s a good way to teach preparation skills and respect, with him getting what he needs ahead of the reading time. Plus, you may want to set a timer for how long you allow him to take while gathering these items; I know my son will stretch out the time of ‘looking for things’ as a stalling tactic.

    You are justified in your frustration. My husband is at home and if he’s around (which is a small part of the school time), I can’t enforce them upoon him; he interrupts all the time. He’s just impatient that way. But I think you can get this matter under control.

    HTH, Rachel

    Misty
    Participant

    Great question.  I have the same problem.  For us though if I don’t do it all at once 1 of 2 things happne 1. We never come back together and things get missed or 2. They are just crabby cause I’m interrupting them.  Any suggestions there?

    Rachel White
    Participant

    I understand the “if I don’t do it all at once…We never come back together and things get missed” as that happens occasionally at my home if I don’t stop myself from my own activities. I get used to them getting things done and then next I know it, it’s lunchtime!

    When I am successful, this is how it works. During breakfast, we do our Scripture Memory and Bible study. At lunchtime, I read something else to them. Our poetry is them readng to me, not me to them-rarely do I read it aloud to them, unless for something fun (like J.R.R. Tolkein poetry) or to exhibit to them the correct way to read it. With those, they’re already doing something other than their school work and they are both in the same place-trapped. Other than those two times during the day, I only interupt them once, for history- 2 days, science and nature study- 2 days, and art/picture study on Fri. I tell them in advance when we are breaking for Family time; my son esp. likes advance notice. Geography just always seem to ‘happen’ at our house; with almost every story and even tv shows/movies, they look at the wall maps (which are on the wall in the dining room), finding the places of which the story spoke. It’s not a separate subject that I must schedule.

    I use the Organizer here, I print out the family and students together, so they can see what ‘Family’ is expected that day and I just tell them ‘after you do this we’re going to do this’.

    So I guess, in a nutshell, it’s the knowing in advance when we’re going to take that other break that works for us and only breaking one other time besides breakfast and lunchtime (at which time they look forward to my reading to them). SOmetimes, I’ll even read at Suppertime if I didn’t feel well earlier in the day. I did that yesterday as I wasn’t well at lunchtime to do our Shakespeare, so I did it last night; when it was the hubby interrupting!

    HTH, Rachel

    momto2blessings
    Participant

    Hi Rachel,

    Thanks for all the tips!  Will try to implement some this week.  Yes, I think I need to break it up.  I’m with Misty that it just seems easier to do it all at once, but it does get a bit tiresome, esp. for my young son (even though he does seem to enjoy most of what’s being read).  Thanks!  Gina

    momto2blessings
    Participant

    Rachel,

    Do you feel that your kids are retaining Geography well?  I feel so weak in this area.  We do point at maps as we talk about things (but not all the time).  Just started reading one of the SCM Geography books this year (What the World Eats), but am so slack on having them fill in maps.  Been feeling guilty about it:)  Gina

    momto2blessings
    Participant

    Rachel,

    Do you feel that your kids are retaining Geography well?  I feel so weak in this area.  We do point at maps as we talk about things (but not all the time).  Just started reading one of the SCM Geography books this year (What the World Eats), but am so slack on having them fill in maps.  Been feeling guilty about it:)  Gina

    Rachel White
    Participant

    Hi Gina,

     Yes, I do feel that they are retaining the Geography and more importantly, they initiate the desire to look up the places involved in our readings/tv/movies. To them it’s incomplete without the knowledge of where along with the when. I’ve only had them fill out two maps each in 4 years! So we don’t do a lot of map drill at this point; I will incorporate that in the future more consistantly, but I don’t feel the urge to do it regularly right now.

    Please don’t feel guilty! The two times I had them do mapping on a blank map was in recreating the trek by the Vikings and identifying the Continents and Oceans of the world.

    I would suggest that you begin at the soonest opportunity to bring Geography alive to them. If you’re reading something today (for example with the BiIble reading, use your Bible atlas or chart; we like the Rose Book of Bible Charts, Maps and Timelines) or ya’ll are going to watch something, go to the map and find out where it took place. ONly take s afew minutes. Then, you can start asking them to find it, then they’ll do it on their own, eventually. Everyday you have an opportunity to ‘do geography’. Do you have a globe available? Bring the modern and historical atlases out daily, make them available to be looked at anytime. You’ll have to initiate looking these things up at first, but eventually I’m sure they’ll take interest. Do you have puzzles of the USA and/or other countries? That would be a great way to get it into their minds easily and in a fun way; I don’t know how interested your 5th grader would be, but your 2nd one should be. Mine both love puzzles of countries. My son (the oldest) started with the Melissa and Doug wooden US puzzle when he was a toddler. Another good resource is the Adam’s Chronological chart when you really get into parallel history.  I want my children to know that there were many things going on all over the world at the same time in history and due to that, there were decisions made by people in authority and privately that affected the course of history; for good and ill. Also, I get some good print outs and ideas for what they should know, here:http://www.worldatlas.com/aatlas/world.htm

    Here’s a great selection of puzzles-http://www.timberdoodle.com/Fischertechnik_s/36.htm

    HTH, Rachel

    momto2blessings
    Participant

    Hi Rachel,

    Thanks for the great links, I’ll be saving them!  We do have puzzles, a globe, 2 large wall maps (U.S. and World).  I like for them to find things on the maps, but they are upstairs in our school room and for some reason my kids just prefer to be on the main floor or basement for readings (also where t.v.’s are)—so seems like a pain to run upstairs to find something.  I do have some page size maps and a globe downstairs—just need to utilize more.  Thanks for all the tips and links (and freedom to not feel guilty:)  Blessings, Gina

    LindseyD
    Participant

    Gina,

    I noticed your geography question above, and thought I’d chime in. Currently I’m doing very basic geography with my ds6. I use Uncle Josh’s Outline Map Book and make copies of the page I want him to fill in. He’s learning the continents and oceans right now. We do a map drill once a week. We look at our labeled map, and then I make him a list, rather than having him label because his handwriting isn’t small enough or straight enough yet to fit in small spaces. I’ll list something like this: North America-green, South America-blue, Asia-red, etc. Then he has to follow my instructions of coloring the blank map correcty. He gets it every time and had it right by the second map drill. Now we’re learning oceans. He has more space to write the names of the oceans, so I have him write those out, copying from the spellings I give him. He gets those right too. To make it come alive, we always point out geographic locations from books and things on the globe and trace a “route” from our city to that location. It’s very simple and takes little time, but he’s retaining so much that it’s worth it. Hopefully that’s helpful to you too.

    Blessings,

    Lindsey

    momto2blessings
    Participant

    Hi Lindsey,

    Thanks for the suggestions.  I like the tracing the route idea!  Do you think Uncle Josh’s book is worth it compared to free map downloads?  I have a site that I do that from, but my problem has been discipline to print them out.  If I just sit down and do a bunch at once, it would help.  Is there anything about Uncle Josh’s that gives an advantage over that?  I think it would be handy to have the maps right in front of me, but hate to spend $$ when I can print for free:)  I don’t have the site off-hand, but I can print a blank map and an answer key to about any area I’d currently want to do. Thanks!  Gina

    LindseyD
    Participant

    I don’t know that there’s necessarily an advantage to Uncle Josh’s. I like it because I don’t have to go searching sites to find the map I want. If you don’t want to spend the money (I think my book was $11), keep printing for free. I guess it’s a personal preference to have a book handy. Wink

    momto2blessings
    Participant

    $11 isn’t bad at all. Will look into it.  Thanks!

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