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Friends..
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So this continues to happen to me and it’s really getting me down today. I could use some picking up.
We are a very simple family, we watch little TV (really mostly DVD’s), we stay home a lot, we are with our children 24/7/365 (by choice), we don’t do sports, we don’t really have money for vacations and we live day by day, week by week. That’s us.
The world on the other hand is moving… moving… moving so much no one has time for anyone anymore. I lost one friend (who is actualy our 3rd sons god-parents) because we wanted to get together and they never had time and we felt like it was unfair to our son (who really wants to know them) and we told them this. Then they stopped talking to us. We moved 2 yrs ago from some very close friends who now are so busy (they only live 5 minutes from us) that they can’t even stop over for a pizza dinner. My long time friend who lives more like an hour away has cancelled on us 3 times now.
I don’t have really any other friends. Honestly I have one that lives down the road and we see them 2 -3 times a month but thats it. Am I the only one who doesn’t have that close friendship that will last a life time? I know I’m forward, honest, and hold my faith on my sleeve but why do they all run, or should I say why is our world running so darn fast that no one has time for anyone?
Does anyone else feel like this? Does anyone else pray to God for understanding on this? Then there are the kids who as my son is getting older has said .. why don’t we see other people? Why is everyone else so busy?
Sorry to tell my sad story, but I don’t have any friends to sob to and this computer and my keys and this forum is it. Thanks for listening.. Misty
This is exactly how I feel. I wonder why. I must be so different than everyone else. Other people seem to get together. We are just like your family. We stay home, don’t watch TV-just DVD’s. I never know what people are talking about when they talk about TV shows or other current media, and I’m glad I don’t.
We do the family thing ALL the time, and we love it. I can’t figure out what others are doing all the time. I’ve decided that my husband and kids ARE my lifetime best friends. It would be fun and nice to have other friends sometimes, but since that doesn’t look like it will happen, I’ll be grateful for having my family constantly. After all, I’ll have them after this life no matter who else there is.
Actually I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s good enough to talk to people on occasion and have nice conversations or nice times at church activities and to want to help others and support them when they need it, but it isn’t needed for me to feel personally close to others as long as I have my family and my parents and siblings. Maybe I’m wrong, but I got tired of trying for so long.
Hope you feel better.
{{{Misty}}}}
I am so with you. We fit exactly in your shoes! When we desire to have fellowship with others; our only choice is to pray and then go to a local state park and see who God brings along to fellowship with for “that day.” Due to the different type of special needs of my family. We just do not “fit” in this world. Nor do we “fit” in any “local church body.” They have let us know in a few different churches in our area that they prefer we do not go there. So, we’re stuck without local fellowship of believers. It is hard on us.
My only suggestion is to do what we have done. If you live where there are any places for tourism… just mingle with the tourists. They are usually more open to being friendly with us. (though it is not the same as teaching our children how to make long lasting friends. ) It is all that we have available for now.
((((Huggles))))
MeadowLark
Misty,
I believe I started a very similar post not too long ago about this same subject. It is hard! It is also hard to feel like you’re the only one trying in an existing friendship. I don’t think it has anything to do with you or your family. You’re right about people being busy, into TV, into materialism, and other activities. Heck, some people are so busy with their own lives, they don’t even have time for the people they share a home with, much less anyone else. I don’t judge those people, although I have no clue where their joy is found. I think it’s just that people don’t know how to relate to simplicity because it’s a foreign concept to them.
It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or with them…just on two different planes.
I have no enlightening words of wisdom to offer you. But, know that you’re not alone. When it comes down to brass tacks, our fulfillment is found first in Christ, and second in our families. Once you make peace with the fact that your family is different (not bad different, just plain different) it is easier to understand, even though loneliness does catch up with you from time to time.
I think you’re doing a great job! And keep being yourself!
Lindsey
Perhaps the area you live in is more remote and does not have the quantity of people that we have near us, but we also live very simple lives that revolve around family, no tv, video games, etc… We have had much success with opening our home to people. We invite people over for dinner and dominoes (or any game your family enjoys), sometimes it’s just dessert if the people we invite have a large family. I have one friend that is very open to spontaneous playdates, so anytime we have a free afternoon, I’ll ask her if she can make it – sometimes she can and sometimes she can’t. I think it also helps to find other homeschool families, as they seem the most eager to come together – not all, some homeschool families are SUPER busy, but the more you meet the more likely you are to find the ones that have time to build relationships. I just ordered the All Day CM workshop and hosted an event in my home, I had a dozen ladies attend and that was a great way to meet more people who were eager to talk about CM things. I found people who wanted to attend by sending an email out to our local homeschool email network. Keep trying and keep asking, you’ll find people happy to accept your invitation – but sometimes it takes persistance.
Rebekah
Yes! My whole teen years I longed for even one good friend, but never had one. Jesus was always my best and closest friend – I don’t know how I’d have survived without Him! My husband is my next best friend; I know from looking at my family and those around me that that is a blessing to cherish. However, about five years ago I made friends with a neighbor – we had just moved in. She has become a very dear friend. I was a little worried about that at first, since we had totally different faiths, but I’ve come to realize that as long as she believes the fundamental truths of the Bible, it doesn’t really matter what you call it. My sister used to be my best friend, but she, along with my other sister, have been caught up so totally in the rat race that I rarely see them anymore. I’d love to have a friend who homeschooled and was also of the same faith, but… I’m grateful God has given me the friends that I do have.
I used to get really depressed about it, and think that I must be pretty worthless. In my own case, I think God didn’t allow me to have any really close friends (besides my Mother) because I try so hard to please people- who knows where I’d have ended up? I’m thankful that God gave me a wonderful Mother who chose to be home with us girls, even though she was a widow and could have used the money.I hope you feel better soon! I know it’s really hard.
Remember, Jesus is there for you, and I’m sure your family does too (even if they’re sometimes unnappreciative of you!)(((Hugs)))
Rebekah
Thank you so very much. I am glad to know I am not alone and there are others who like me have mostly just there family. You have all made me believe in our own home more just by reading your posts. Thank you once again. I am not alone, I will always have Christ and my family! Blessings Misty
I just wanted to say.. you know how sometimes these things get brought up and then you find more than you thought..
Today the Mom and Dad’s corner of http://www.Titus2.com Steve addresses this issue. Now I have NOT read it yet.. but I thought how odd his section is called Lonely? Be Encouraged! I have to mention that also Teri’s is looking very inviting to me it’s called Bringing Up children Who Will Love the Lord.
Just thought I’d share Misty
Misty,
I did read Terri’s post today and it was wonderful. I was very encouraged by it. I haven’t read Steve’s yet, but also thought of this thread when I read the title!
Carrie
I read Mom & Dads corner thismorning also and was very encouraged by both articles. Something Steve wrote…
“….So what’s the need in our lives of which loneliness is a symptom? The need is for a close, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. When we are focusing on our loneliness, we are looking to others to provide for us what only God can and should provide. The Lord is to be our all in all, our every thing. David tells us that his expectation is in the Lord only. “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God” (Psalms 62:5-7)…..”
Hugs to you Misty!
Heather
I used to get really depressed about it, and think that I must be pretty worthless. In my own case, I think God didn’t allow me to have any really close friends (besides my Mother) because I try so hard to please people- who knows where I’d have ended up? I’m thankful that God gave me a wonderful Mother who chose to be home with us girls, even though she was a widow and could have used the money.
Remember, Jesus is there for you, and I’m sure your family does too (even if they’re sometimes unnappreciative of you!)
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