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Found something I’m afraid of..
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Ok.. I have a question. I love my family, we have fun are close and I have always felt like I was a good mom. Trying to do right by God, failing many times and going to ask forgiveness. But that’s what makes a good mom right?
But Friday I found something I am afraid of. Ok.. this is going to be very weird but I have to tell someone (other than hubby). We have 5 great boys. I love each of them and have never had a worry in my life. My hubby is a great dad, husband and friend. He is exactly what I would want them to model there life next to God.
Friday we had an u/s for #6. 1st let me tell you, you are all the only ones who will know till Christmas so consider yourselves lucky and also to know blessed that I have you. We are having a ‘girl’. My hubby is so very happy! I am happy to but ‘scared’. My mom was not a great mom, I know she did what she felt was right but it really wasn’t in my best interest. And now that I know I am having a little girl all the fears of what I didn’t get from her are surfacing out of no where that I will do this to this little girl and I will not be the mom that my hubby is as a dad. I know this is Satan scaring me but he is doing a heck of a job at it.
So any advice on how to get past this “past” and know that it’s not God’s plan or just a kind word would be great.
I truly love this board or I wouldn’t share this but I needed some friendly advice that I know will not get around to our family/friends who will not know for awhile.
Boy, just writing about it now is like a relief to see that this is totally crazy and Satan is just always right around the corner. Thanks for the eyes to this letter.
God bless you
Misty
Oh Misty I totally understand everything you have said and everything you are experiencing. We had out first girl after 4 boys. I knew she was a girl but that is another story for another time. I did not have a good role model either for what “I” believe a mother should be to her daughter. I also live a VERY different life than what my parents ever expected and I am raising my daughter very differently. But, I have such peace knowing I am raising her exactly the way the Lord wants. I still get scared that I am not going to do something right but praise the Lord He is the one who will still guide her even when I fail (which btw is every day). She is only 2 but boy is she something else!!! LOL!!! You can do this with God’s help and He obviously believes you are going to be the perfect mother for this child.
I cant wait to hear all about it!!!
Misty,
First of all, Congratulations! You have been so blessed! And praise God that you are following the Lord and are breaking the cycle of past generations! That is the thing, God’s mercies are new every morning and He restores the years the locusts have eaten. You do know who the enemy is so tell him to ‘get behind you;’ resisting him in the name of Jesus who will cause him to flee.
Rest now, take care of yourself, ask God to show you areas where you need to forgive, and also realize that hormones can also be playing an active role right now :).
My mom did not take care of me; there were lots of issues there. But then God gave me five girls mixed among my boys! The issues with my mother seemed to never really connect with my treatment of my girls. It became a non-issue because God has allowed us to, like I said, break the cycle. All that said, I’ll trust God that it will be the same for you.
I’ll be praying for you, Misty!
Blessings,
Cindy
HI Misty,Shanna, and Cindy,
I do not have any girls so I cannot tell you how to raise them. But I wanted to point out that all three of you have had issues with your mothers and all three of you are beautiful, strong mothers. God has taken care of you,even with whatever issues you may have had. I believe God will do the same with our children no matter the mistakes we make with them. I am telling myself this as much as I am you all. God loves us and He loves our children. He will be there to hold us up and them up. We need only to sit at His feet and listen. You are precious women. I hope this encourages you for that is what I meant to do.
Blessings to you all,
Suzq
Thank you for all your encouragement. This might sound odd but it’s good to know there are others out there who are “not” like there moms were and are raising beautiful little girls. It gave me hope to know I will not make the same decisions she made and as Shanna said I am also living a VERY different life than my mom. Which she doesn’t understand at all.
I needed to open this today (monday morning) and be refreshed being we were with my parents this weekend and they are not happy we will not tell them the sex of this baby yet. Then when they spoke of what they wanted to buy the kids for Christmas and we said no, they were all upset again.
Thank you for your blessings and encouragement it means so much to me. It’s good to know that I can and WILL break that cycle with my little girl and God will be there to make her the best when I fail. You are all such Godly women and I am reminded that there are many of you out there, at times I just wish you were right here so when you need me I can help you and as I did this time you could be my sholder to cry on.
Blessings and thanks
Misty
First, Congratulations! I have 4 girls, and would love a boy or 2. But I know I would probably be scared like you are now, not knowing what to do with him after all these girls. It sounds like you are a great Mom just by being concerned and in what your post says.
It will be different from all the boys, but what a blessing. She will be spoiled and will be your buddy, you can do her hair, dress her up. And girls are Daddy’s girls. You are a role model to all your children, so if you have been a great Mom thus far, which I am sure you have, a girl will be no different.
Hi and congratulations – I don’t profess to be an expert, but here is my 10c worth. I have raised twin girls to the age of 16 and have done it in a totally different way to my own mother. My mother was a wonderful mother and we were exceptionally close, but I went to public school and so in that sense things were different. My main point would be that God knows who he is giving this little girl too and he knows that you will make a fine momma. Don’t be afraid, we all make mistakes – I made plenty and would love to change one or two things I did or did not do with my girls. However all in all things have worked out well. I have never been afraid to apologise to them if I think I did something wrong, and above all else I have always tried to keep the lines of communication wide open – and have always let them know I love them no matter what – in other words unconditionally. We are very close and we have a wonderful time on a daily basis doing all kinds of things – talking and working together and generally being there for each other. One thing for sure, your little girl will not be short of male protectors and in you she will have her first best friend and confidente – just be there for her always and teach her all the good things you know – I bet you will be fine and in 20 years time you will wonder what you worried about. Most important of all, keep talking to God, ask for his guidance with your little girl and just enjoy her. Lindy
Thank you! You are all such great women to give me such hope. After reading these last post I know that you are right. God is giving me this girl right now because it is the right time.
Oviously I have other things I hate. Like when everyone says “oh are you hoping for a girl” and “If it’s a girl are you done”. Which I can’t think of great response yet so if you have one I would love it. We don’t know if we are done only God does and no we are not hoping for anything just health, so how do you answer those questions?
Blessings
Misty
Misty, personally I think it rather rude for someone to ask if “you are done” that is for God and you and hubby to decide – no-one else. I would answer it honestly in your own way about it being God’s decision – or smile serenely and say “we will see, won’t we” in a nice way. Hopefully that will give the hint that the conversation is closed. Just be true to God and yourself and you are going to be fine. Having two daughters of my own, who were preemies (1 lb 14 oz and 2.00 lb born at 27 weeks) I know you are in for a rare treat – our children are such gifts and you will cherish every minute when she arrives – will it always be easy? No of course not, no child is always easy – but you will get immense joy from every day. Stay close to God and when in doubt ask for His guidance – then you will be fine. Bless you – I will keep you in my prayers.
Misty,
Congrats! It is such a joy when God gives us a new child. I know the older I get and the older my children get, the more I see the responsibility in what God has called me to do, not just the ooey-gooey feelings (like when I was a first time mom). That may be part of what you’re feeling. Since you already have such a beautiful family, you’re not just thinking about diapers and feedings, you’re thinking of twenty years from now (and what she will become). Praise God his mercies are new every morning!
Every time our pastor baptizes a baby (I know not everyone agrees on this topic, but I think we’ll all agree on the next part), he holds the baby up and says, “Behold the glory of God as seen in ____________(insert name of child).” Then he prays that the child would grow up to be a mighty man/woman in His kingdom, have a godly spouse, and godly children. I can almost picture you up there with your passel of boys and beautiful princess. God has created her and put her in your family that you might influence her and future generations for God’s glory. No reason to be afraid. He’ll give you everything you need to love her well.
As far as the comment about being done, I must be a lot more ornery than you sweet ladies. I’d just look at the person and say, “Oh, I think we’re hoping for at least twenty-five.” Then smile and walk away. Will they think you’re crazy, probably. But most people who would ask that question already think that because it’s outside of their paradigm. That’s not your issue. I’d make ajoke and move on.
Jen
P.S. This advice gets me into trouble with my mom. When people ask me about homeschooling with that tone (like they’re sure I have no idea what I’m doing–which some days isn’t too far from the truth), I tell them that I use PBS for a curriculum. Poor woman almost passes out. 🙂
That is such great advice! From both I have to say though Jen I am more like you and I like to just sock them. so the idea of saying “no we’d like 25” is great way to answer and close the door. Thanks for the laugh.
Being true to God is all we can do isn’t it! That’s it right there. I know that you have inspired me totally in the last few days and I am now eagerly awaiting this little girl to come into my life and fill it with more love (which is what each of our boys have done). Isn’t amazing how you just never run out of LOVE for your hubby and each beautiful child God sends us!
Misty
lol – oh my goodness! We seriously all need to get together. 😀 Jen, your post cracked me up! I think I might try that PBS line. Too funny. I’ll be sharing that one with whomever I can today.
God is so good and gives us what we need when we need it (and not a moment sooner). Misty be blessed! Praise the Lord for your new little girl. What a gift.
Cindy
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