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Foreign Adoption: How did YOU pay for it?
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We have five biological children and have adopted five from China. We started out working on domestic special needs adoption and were stuck in that cycle for two years. It seems as if the US system is very hard to work with and unpredictable. We were open to almost any type of medical special need and sibling groups and it was very frustrating. I lost track of how many children we “pursued” and were either turned down because we had too many children, we didn’t live in the right place, court dates were postponed, etc…. I have a friend going through it right now and it’s the same story. I would love to see US kids get into families, but we spent two years working in that system and finally threw up our hands in frustration. When China relaxed their family size policy back in 1998, we turned down that road and never looked back.
For several years I was the grant coordinator for an adoption ministry and I can verify that domestic adoptions are often more expensive than foreign adoptions, somestimes costing $30,000 or more.
Another reason we were drawn to overseas is that most children in the US have their basic needs met (obviously this excludes the basic need of a permanent family, however food, medical care, education needs are usually met). Three of our adopted children needed immediate medical care when they arrived in the US — one needed open heart surgery, one had border-line malnutrition due to an open cleft palate. The bottom line is that in other countries children leave the orphanage sometime in their teens and very few survive.
The cost issue has to be the biggest hurdle most families face with adoption. How I long to see the church rise up with one accord and financially provide for families who are willing to adopt. I’d estimate that our total adoption costs were around $100,000, including on-going medical needs not covered by insurance. Of that we received approsimately $30,000 in gifts and were able to do the rest on our own. I have no idea how. Our income for our family size would be considerd barely above the poverty level, yet God provided, sometimes at the very last moment, always miraculously.
I would love to adopt a Down’s child too. They are beautiful!
Sheraz, have you seen this web site?
Thank you ladies for your responses — I haven’t quite had enough time to get through them all yet, but I plan to. I admire all of you for your willingness to follow God’s calling, no matter the cost. I will patiently wait to see if perhaps God is calling our family this way as well.
I agree with the birth order thing, which would now allow us to consider a child up to age seven. I have two boys and would love to have two more. I’ve never really considered a little girl, though my mom and in-laws would love a little grand-daughter. They both only have grandsons. My first leaning has been to adopt from the Foster care system. My dh has an adopted older brother, an adopted nephew (now 21) and a cousin in another province with 4 children adopted from the foster-care system, so adoption would certainly not be anything new in our family.
A while ago I wrote a blog post about what our children’s lives might have looked like had they not been adopted. Knowing how they came to us, what I shared could have been a reality, and is for countless others. I also listed a few resources for people interested in adoption, and I thought I’d share it here because of the interest in adoption shown in this thread.
http://undertheevergreens.blogspot.com/2011/11/children-are-waiting.html
And this one is about special needs adoption, for those who might be considering it as a possibility for their family.
http://undertheevergreens.blogspot.com/2012/01/on-special-needswaiting-child-adoption.html
Blessings,
Aimee
We originally were going to adopt domestically, but were close to being selected by a birth mother and then she changed her mind. Having miscarried many times I was crushed. We needed something that was more of a new thing. International adoption was just that for us. We did have to give up the idea that we would have a newborn. Doesn’t every mother want a baby? Especially the first?
After the first, I was open to a slightly older child, but didn’t really want to mess up the birth order either.
It was clear that our children were in Korea – more and more so as we went along with the process. Once there is one from Korea, it just made sense to increase our family with more children from Korea. The process was easier the second and third times – paperwork wise, but NOT waiting – it was a killer with each one.
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