Name: Great Homeschool Conventions (Columbus)
Start: 2025-04-24T00:00:00-05:00
End: 2025-04-26T23:59:59-05:00
Location: Columbus, OH

This topic has 9 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 9 months ago by momto2blessings.

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June 12, 2013 at 9:34 pm
MariePowell
Participant
We are on the trail home after a 4,000 mile camping tour of our country. It has been wonderful; we have seen many things and had miles of conversations. My teen son (14) opened up about many things while on this trip. Regretably, one was that he may want to consider going back to a “real” school. Never would I have dreamed he would want to go back! The last two years have been a challenge, but nothing like the ordeals he went through at a fast-paced private Christian. We would have never realized all the learning difficulties that had apparently been stumbling him all those years. We have enjoyed the freedom of taking our time, more quality time as a family in the evenings, no backpack full of unfinished seatwork (on top of daily homework) etc. etc. He has seemingly forgotten all the miserable late nights at the kitchen table trying to get it all finished.   Why??? I asked him, his answer was simply that he wants friends, to play sports, etc. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my son is in the Autism spectrum. He has come so far, so you really wouldn’t tell at a glance. Since the kids at private Christian “grew up” with him, they accepted him at first for who he was. Things began to change by the 6th grrade, however. His social difficulties and learning problems began to stick out more. The pre-teen cliques, peer pressure, hormones etc. all began to set in, and he was so miseraable! Now, he has decided he might want to go back?! His first thought was our local public… i don’t know how to make him understand that you can’t just hop into the 9th grade because you are 14… We call it ” 9th” with our HS, because we can! Noobody has to know if his spelling/handwriting/math etc. may be at much lower ‘grade levels’. Although the sped. people would be more that willing to work with him, I’m afraid that his peers would socially isolate him, even tease him for his special needs. I remember all too well how it was when I was a freshman… without the addded LD. The kids at the private Christian that gave him so much trouble are all gone, so i’ve heard (expelled etc.) but the fast paced clsses are still there. The school might be willing to make some adjustments (ie shorter assignments, oral exams etc0 but I still wish he would be satisfied with just being us! We have a great church, but in honesty, he doesn’t fit with the cliques there either (but the kids are kind enough). He has scouts, and we were planning on joining the FFA and 4-H to help open doors for friendships. There is even a HS mom in our area that will be teaching the Apologia Biology I has planned to use; there will be at least 10 or more kids his age attending that I’m sure. These opportunities should be enough I would think, without all the extra pressures that are sure to come with the other options. Has anyone out there ever faced this problem? We are praying of course, but i would value your wisdom as well.
June 12, 2013 at 9:42 pm
my3boys
Participant
I have no advice right now but can add to the others as they come in. I just wanted you to know that I will pray for peace and clarity for your son and family. We have experienced this in our home, too. It is very difficult, emotionally draining, disheartening, and just plain frustrating.
I can let you know what conclusion we came to later, if you’d like to know.
June 12, 2013 at 10:26 pm
MariePowell
Participant
Thst would be great. This is such a letdown; HE is the main reason we pulled all three children, yet, of the three is the only one looking back at the “other schools”.
June 12, 2013 at 10:49 pm
jotawatt
Participant
I would pray about this, a LOT. I think as they get older, they need to have more say in their education. Here are a few things to consider, though: kids with autism/Aspergers (2 of mine are aspies) tend to be a good bit “younger” in social and emotional development than their peers. One rule of thumb I’ve heard is about 3/4 of their actual age, so a 16-year-old would be more on a level with 12 -year-olds, emotionally speaking; and for that reason may not be the best judge of what’s best for himself yet.
My oldest is one of my Aspergers children; he’s 16 and is starting to feel the need for more socialization too. We too are looking and praying for more friendship-building opportunities for him. I think you have some good ideas there; if you add scouts and the other activities you mention, that might be enough to meet your son’s need — you won’t know until you try.
I belong to an online support group for parents who are homeschooling their Asperger children, and most of them have been pulled out of school for the reasons you mention, and for worse. So many of their kids deal with anger, depression and self-rejection issues, and a lot of it stems from their experiences in traditional schools. Not that schools are always terrible, but most of them are definitely not geared for children with Asperger’s/ high-functioning autism. If the Christian school is small and really willing to work with you and him, it could be different. Maybe it’s worth asking him to try another year at home, adding in the extra social activities, and see what he thinks after that? Sorry this is somewhat rambling; I hope some of this helps you in your own process of mulling this over.

June 12, 2013 at 11:35 pm
MariePowell
Participant
   That is exactly what my husband thinks; give it just 1 more year with the extra things (we watched a 4-H show while on this trip in Utah; it looked like so much fun, just no pigs husband says!) I would love to learn more about the support group you belong to; there are probably answers to many other issues we deal with that are readily available to read. I will confess one more factor I think is the MAIN draw to “school” in all this… girls. My husband thought it would be nice to take the kids to some games this spring at the local public HS..since they never got to play. We have a church member who is an all-star there. My son, naive to this whole realm, began to speak and attempt to socialize with some of the girls on the softball team before or after games. He has never texted, facebooked, or even talked on the phone to girl until just this summer. He lacks the discernment to know the difference in “I”m speaking to you simply to be polite”; vs “I want to be your friend”. Both he and my oldest daughter (12, also mild AS) will be starting a PEERS class at our Autism Center at the end of the month for help in these social skills. I only wish we would have had these classes available much sooner. Sadly, I think my husband’s good intentions sparked his puberty and now school has a whole new meaning!
June 13, 2013 at 12:34 am
jotawatt
Participant
Sigh…we’re dealing with that too! I’ll be happy to message you with the information on the group, if I can figure out how to do it! I’m heading out the door right now but will try to get that to you soon. I’ve learned so much from the homeschooling aspies group, and it’s been such an encouragement. 🙂
June 13, 2013 at 5:50 am
Sue
Participant
It’s so hard, I go through the same thing with my 13yo son who has mild autism. I’d say the 3/4 age thing is true. I often tell people that although my son is nearly 14, he seems to be more like 9 or 10. And he’s a bit short for his age, so he doesn’t look 14, either. He doesn’t understand why he doesn’t quite fit in with most kids his age, but I see that he usually is accepted among the 8- to 10-year olds on the playground or at events.
I’d be pretty comfortable with him finding a few friends that age to spend time with (if I could somehow “make” that happen), but unfortunately, when he visits his dad, his 20yo stepbrother tries to get him to act “older” by letting him watch movies & tv he shouldn’t, he takes away his matchbox cars and the odds-n-ends he carries in his pocket (stepbrother tells him he needs to grow up & stop carrying around toys), and is generally a bad influence on him. He is the one who constantly tells my son that he should be in public school so he can have friends, have gym classes, etc. (This from a kid who dropped out of school at the beginning of 12th grade….at least he finally got a GED!)
My heart aches for my son, and I just wish he had a steady friend or two.
@jotawatt, is that online group for parents homeschooling aspies a yahoo group or something like that? Just wondering.
June 13, 2013 at 2:50 pm
jotawatt
Participant
Yes, it is. If you’re interested in joining, send an email to HomeschoolingAspies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. They’ll ask for an introductory email. Sometimes it takes a few days for them to respond. It’s a good group, though, and I’ve learned so many helpful things there.
Tara
June 18, 2013 at 12:55 pm
gcbsmommy
Participant
My 14 year old son (with PDD – NOS) has beat the drum to return to public school, too. He has a lot of social struggles but thrives on the schedule/routine of school. He gets great satisfaction out of “checking the boxes” of the thing she needs to do each day for each class. I is very eager to finish work quickly – he never procrastinates. Hence, academically, he did very well in public school – they reward kids so much for just showing up and checking the boxes, really. My son is also very passionate about musical theatre. He has been involved in a local musical theatre program for four years where he discovered a love for singing and acting. Several of the talented older kids in this program have gone on to a local performing arts magnet high school, and he has been INTENT on attending this school for two years now. We agreed to allow him to try out (it is an audition-only program), if for no other reason than giving him the opportunity to try. Well, he made it! And his heart, no surprise, is SET on going.
This is very sad for me. I want to keep homeschooling him and helping him realize his full potential through other avenues. Out situation is complicated by the fact that his father (who left years ago – we are now divorced and I am remarried) is very much in favor of him going to this school. And my son idolizes his dad. If it were up to us alone, we would pursue other avenues (Christian community theatre, etc.). I have appealed to his dad and offered up alternative opportunities for their consideration, but these have been rejected.
SO we approach the new school year with trepidation. My three girls will be home with us (one dual enrolled at the local community college), and my son will be going to the magnet school 45 minutes away. We have told him this is a pilot year and there is no guarantee that he can stay there even if he loves it. If we find the school is not a good fit for him for whatever reason or if it does not work for the family (transportation issues being one concern among others), we will not continue. I am praying he decides on his own to come home.
I know my story is a bit rambling, but your situation reminded me so much fo my own that I wanted to reach out and let you know we are facing a similar struggle, and I pray the Lord will guide your steps to the right path for your son.
June 18, 2013 at 2:29 pm
momto2blessings
Participant
Oh my, you’re not alone. We are currently on a 6 week trip to Europe and my nearly 14yo just brought up that she wants to consider going to school. I felt like crying at first, but hubby and I feel that at this age she needs to have ownership. I’m presenting options to up her time with friends, and our homeschool group offers high school classes for credit, so hopefully that will help. She hasn’t been super motivated lately and I’ve been a bit concerned about her lack of many outside interests, so I actually do wonder a bit if our very academic Christian school might help her some. But deep down I feel homeschooling is best as long she’s motivated to do her best…
Just know you’re not alone! Blessings, Gina