60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
Food battles
- This topic has 12 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 8 months ago by
.
Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
- Posts
It’s not what I want to do, but I find I’m engaging in a food battle with my 6yo over something that bothers me so much! He will often ask for some food, and then not eat it when I give it to him. Then he wants something else. If it’s just a matter of his changing his mind, I don’t give in. I tell him that’s what you can eat since you asked for it. Fine.
But the gray area is that some foods he likes sometimes and not others. For ex., he’s hot and cold with blueberries. Some days he likes them, some days not. This morning I offered blueberries and yogurt for breakfast and he said sure. Then he picked out all the berries and just ate the yogurt and asked for more plain yogurt. I made him eat one of the berries, but he gagged on it like he was going to vomit. Is this just life with kids this age? Or have you successfully dealt with this problem in a good way? I remember as a kid being forced to eat certain food and then later vomiting. I don’t want to do that, but I hate to see food wasted.
Thanks!
When I read your post I wondered about possible food allergies or sensitivities. My kids and I have them, and before we found out what was bothering us, I think sometimes we would not want to eat something we liked all the time because it made us feel bad. The thing is, sometimes when we felt bad, we didn’t connect it mentally to a food; but maybe our bodies did. So we might want it sometimes and not others. Does that make sense?
After we found out what foods bothered each of us, we started eating much more happily. My oldest daughter never could finish a plate of food and would want other things that would also be hard to eat. It might be worth checking out.
If that’s not the problem at all, you might try letting him dome up with the menu and help prepare the food (if you don’t already). They seem to be more satisfied with the food if they plan and make it. I think it’s pride, but it works.
Good luck!
I have a couple like that but here’s my deal: you get food you eat food or you get no snack/extra food. NOW mind you I am a vegitarian and my dh is not. So at most meals we have 2 options or varations to choose from.
That said I am like that at times to and I have to agree with the above post. I can do a lot of things daily normally but when I’m pregnant my body will not let me eat the same foods. So if you at all think it’s a sensitivity/allergy issue have it checked out. With me I am lactose intolerant when pregnant? Don’t know why, but after I’m totally fine.
I had similiar food battles with my now 5yob when he was 2 and 3….as a baby I made the mistake of getting up from the table and giving him 2 or 3 options if he passed on the 1st one even if he liked the 1st one the last time I served it. I had to do ALOT of backtracking to train him that I wasn’t a short order cook at dinnertime. Our MD strongly encouraged to not force the child to eat and not make dinner time a battlefield….it was so hard, but I eventually just starting putting dinner on his plate, always offering a couple of things I knew he liked that wasn’t junk food and wasn’t hard to prepare. I took away junk foods options except for an occassional treat, so I only gave him healthy options, and he has slowly accepted this and is no longer a picky eater.
BUT, I do think there is something to the picky eater and food intolerance theory…as my 5yob is genetically like my dh who has had GI health problems, food allergies, and other health issues growing up…..and my 5yob has environmental allergies and respiratory flare-ups….I suspect it has something to do with food and that’s why he had been picky……since rotating his grains, giving him less dairy, and feeding more variety of fresh fruits/veggies he has had less ear infections, respiratory troubles, and such…….and since doing this he has become less of picky eater.
My dd age 3, on the other hand….is NOT a picky eater, she eats 80% of all the different foods I serve her, so I never have to battle for her to eat. However, when I was pregnant with her I couldn’t tolerate milk, and when I was breastfeeding I could tolerate milk, but she couldn’t so I had to give up dairy for several months while breastfeeding……that to me concludes, to listen to our bodies…..HOWEVER, not to let your children make you short-order cooks at meal times (there’s a happy medium b/n forcing a child to eat one choice made by mom and letting the child wear you out by being unjustly picky at mealtime).
I hate to watch my kids gag on food! I have a standard rule, that you eat what you have on your plate, as my kitchen is not a restaurant and what I made is what we are having with no complaints! If they gag on it, I usually only make them eat a couple of bites. That being said however, if your son then gags on the food he asked for, maybe it is an allergy issue as mentioned above or just can’t make up his mind and that is his way of getting out of his choice? My three year old is doing this, choosing something and then changing his mind after I’ve already given it to him and I just say, “to late” , I don’t play his game. This probably didn’t help you at all, but Good Luck.
In my experience, my dd would ask for things like that – love it one day and not the next – and I feel the same way about wasted food. After doing food allergy testing, I found out that they often love the foods that they are most sensitive or allergic to, and don’t always associate the “symptoms” with the actual food. There are many, many symptoms and behaviors related to food allergies/sensitivities that are not common knowledge to most people until they “have to know”. I would give serious thought to the testing to know for sure (mine ended up being sensitive to about 20 things, but only to about 4 more serious – all her favorite). Then you can easily do the “tough love” thing, without all the nagging worry and doubt in the back of your mind.
You can be sensitive to blueberries btw, my dh is. Also, just for fun, did you know that there are people who are allergic to lettuce? Coffee? Cola?? Safflower?? Interesting…also one dd is allergic to the egg white, but not the yolk…go figure.
All great advice, but one more item to consider. My son used to ask for things then insist that he didn’t. It was really frustrating. I discovered that half the time he really wasn’t paying attention, for example if I asked him if he wanted this kind of sandwich he might say sure, but he was really too involved in his activity to know what he was really agreeing to. Then there would be a battle when he came to the table because he really didn’t want what I had made. I now make him stop, look at me and repeat what I’ve offered before agreeing or asking for another option.
Both our boys have inherited their father’s (and grandfather’s) picky eating habits. As a result I will often make two meals–it’s the only way I can eat what I want sometimes, like fish. However, sometimes if the boys won’t eat something their dad and I will, then I give them the option of making themselves a sandwich. I’ve struggled with food and weight issues all my life, and I am not about to make meal time a battle!
I didn’t really have time to read all the other posts, so forgive me if I repeat. We have experienced this in the past as well as just general pickiness. I finally got to the point where I couldn’t be a short-order cook, nor could I predict whether my child was going to like a food today but maybe not tomorrow. I realized that dh and I made too big of a deal about what our kids were or were not eating and how much they were/were not eating. We fell into the trap of forcing them to finish what was on their plates or “just take 3 more bites” or whatever. It doesn’t work because eating is the one thing that a child can stand his/her ground on, and parents really have their hands tied.
So, we stopped making a big deal out of food. I cooked and served what was reasonable for my children to eat. I would never set a plate of liver and onions (sorry if you like that sort of thing) before them and expect them to eat it willingly, because I wouldn’t eat it either. Little by little we expanded our menu without making a point to tell the kids they had to try something. We simply put the food before them and allowed them to make the decision to eat it or not.
That said, their choice to NOT eat didn’t mean I made them something else. It just meant they went hungry until the next meal or snack. We also stopped begging them to eat “just 3 more bites” and we stopped bribing with “if you eat all your food, you get dessert”. They either eat or they don’t; it’s just as simple as that. If they eat 2 bites and say they’re full, we’ll ask them if they’re sure because that also means they don’t get to eat again until the next meal.
I also had to learn to trust that God created my kids’ bodies to be able to judge hunger and fullness just like my body. Some days I’m ravenously hungry; other days I only eat a little. I had to realize that my kids were the same way, and I have to trust that if they say they’re full after 2 bites, they’re full. But, if they come to me 30 minutes later asking for food, they’re not going to get it because the opportunity was already given for them to eat.
I know that’s long, but food battles are, for me, the most frustrating. I hope that helps some!
Blessings,
Lindsey
Ok, so how do you deal with a child who refuses to eat his vegetables? If I let him choose, he would eat everything else except veggies. If I tell him he must, then he will.
botanicalbecky…give SMALL portions of everything including what he likes…and he must clean the plate to get more of what he likes (say mashed potatoes)…if he doesn’t want to …he’s done until the next meal. no snacks.
jo
Jo and Tristan – that is basically what we do…
except we end up with a food battle when a child asks for more, gets more, and then eats a bite and says they are full….
I also get frustrated with the quantity of food that gets thrown out.
As for getting them to eat vegetables….
Our 7 and 5yo are fairly good about vegetables. One night a week (roughly) we have a “movie night” where we cut up various vegetables, some cheese, some meat (that varies, meatballs, garlic sausage, etc), and a fancy bread. My husband makes up a dip for the veggies. We setup a tray with everything, startup a movie, and everyone eats. The kids have to eat a bit of veggies with each serving of meat/cheese/bread…. but really the kids love a variety.
Also, with meals… quite a while ago we had something with mixed vegetables and my son noticed a lima bean and went “what is this??? and my husband said, oh are you ever lucky!…. and so my kids consider lima beans lucky and watch for them (and eat them happily)
And recently, I was making a different meal, a pasta dish with green beans (which my kids have eaten before)… and my daughter came in and asked what supper was (I didn’t have a name for it) and I quickly came up with “Davy Jones Pasta”. (we have the Lego Pirates of the Carribean game). and my son went “oh!”. Then when he was hoping for more, but hadn’t eaten the green beans I said… “Hey… you didn’t eat the barnicles!” He said “These are barnicles???” and ate them all up.
Obviously those types of things don’t work all the time…. but it is cool when they do!
LOL – great ideas suzukimom – you’re so creative!.
My oldest used to love lima beans – he called them “turtle” beans. 🙂
Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
- The topic ‘Food battles’ is closed to new replies.