fervent prayers for my marriage, please.

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  • mommamartha
    Participant

    My husband, Jim, of 21 years is not a christian man. He is hard working and dedicated to his family. All other fruits he’s lacking. Not surprised you say because he’s not a christian. The worst is I’m a christian of 13 years and I lack the LORD’S fruits of the spirit towards him and I have time and time again tried to forgive and yet situations arise and I blow up and lay out all his faults. I feel I could love anyone but him. I’m a hypocritical christian. I ask am I a christian? Time and time, I go against the Lord and idolize christian marriages, quarrel, have outbursts of anger, have division, don’ t respect, envy other unions and exhibit hostility toward my husband. All openly disobeying what is so vehemently stated in Galatians 7:19-21. I know I need pastoral council, which I’m not asking from this site, what I need are prayers from this wonderfully faithful group of people. I know with my mind, what scripture says about woman in marriage and I’ve been turning to the Bible crying out for this, but my heart is hardened toward him.
    Thank you for taking this time to pray for us.

    Martha

    Ruralmama
    Participant

    I am praying for you. I have been reading a book that I know has really helped me be a better wife. It is What’s it like to be Married to Me by Linda Dillow. I have read it twice and am planning to do the bible study with a friend this fall. Linda offers concrete practical and Biblical advice for Wives..”.we can only change ourselves and here is how” type of thing. It is not our job nor should we strive to change our husbands. Some of the wives used as examples are very inspiring (think husbands in adultery or already divorced) yet it is not only inspiring, linda has you make a purpose statement for your own marriage and helps you see how to be who you want to be. It’s a challenging book but worth truly thinking about and reading multiple times.

    Melissa
    Participant

    Praying for you, Martha. I have sinned against my husband in the ways you have mentioned. I pray for the Holy Spirit to transform your heart and that you will receive the counsel you need. If you ever listen to wretchedradio.com, there are good resources there for marriage and other things, all Gospel-centered. That ministry had been a tremendous help to me in many ways.

    Melanie32
    Participant

    Martha-I, too, have been married to my husband, who is not a Christian, for 21 years. I have a dear friend who is in the same situation and she is a great encouragement to me. Feel free to email me at melaniearudd@gmail.com if you would like. This is not an easy road but having friends to walk with definitely helps.

    You will be in my prayers.

    Blessings,

    Melanie

     

    Wings2fly
    Participant

    Praying for you, too.  In a similar situation, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace was helpful to me a few years ago.  It is probably time for a re-read.

    my3boys
    Participant

    Hi Martha,

    I will be praying for you.  I wanted to mention that I’ve been married for 20 years as well and my husband is a Christian. But, in the past, I have been guilty of the same thoughts as you have had. In my mind, my dh wasn’t Christian enough, spiritual enough, tender-hearted enough, committed to church activities enough…sad to say, but the list goes on and on. I spent several years comparing him to other husbands and not being thankful for who God had so graciously given me. (I’m not saying that is what you are doing.) My dh has characteristics and morals that are so important to me and that I really wanted in a husband, and I spent a lot of time ignoring those wonderful traits in him.

    I’m not trying to say that you are doing these things, but I wanted to share so that you know that you are not alone. I’m so sorry you are going through this; I know it is very hard.  God bless you as you seek Him and His truths. Praying for you today.

    Renee Gould
    Participant

    Martha..

    I too, am married to a Christian man.  Married almost 10 years.  Like other women mentioned here, I too am guilty of ALL the things you mention in your post.  It is always good to know, that you are not alone.

    I will certainly pray for you!

    A site that has helped me tremendously is:

    https://peacefulwife.com/

    She is an amazing Christian woman that basically ‘took over’ her marriage (to a Christian man mind you) in all the ways we women sometimes can when things get all turned around. (Away from God’s design) There are so many articles and examples of women who seek God, change themselves, and their marriages are better for it!

    You are not alone.  We are all fallen.  Our ‘thorn’ since the beginning (Adam and Eve) is to never be happy with our men.   We are also fighting the fall. (us men and women)

    Better not to fight and just surrender and become the women God knows we can be.  ONLY with Him.:-)

    Prayers to you and your family!

    Blessings,

    Renee

    mommamartha
    Participant

    Thank you, to you wonderful ladies that have taken your precious time to pray for Jim and I. Today doesn’t seem as bleak as the day I posted. I also went to 2 wonderful church services today and I have diagnosed my husband with social anxiety disorder, since the post. It’s not hard to diagnose with the symptoms laid out for you. We have talked a little about it and he has been different in social situations, where he would otherwise avoided. I just thought he was painfully shy, but it’s much more than that. I by no means am medically qualified to make diagnosis, but a website to pinpoint symptoms and further reading in the book, the Hidden Face of Shyness: Understanding and overcoming social anxiety, make me feel confident it’s a problem.

    Thanks again, Martha

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