feeling your child is behind

Hi Faithwalk,

I love your screen name. Just wanted to say that. 🙂

Of my seven kids, I have one who deals with dyslexia and some ADD. I would love to share some of our experiences if it would help.

I don’t have a lot of time right now but will come back to this. For now I wanted to reply to you to let you know that my heart goes out to you… I so understand your broken heart for your son. I know those mama-tears and those desperate prayers and those late nights of research looking for answers. 

It’s not too late for him. The ladies on this board are so helpful and I hope you will find some answers here. I’m praying right now that God, who made your son, will bring you to the answer you need.

Do you know what the root of your son’s difficulty is? That might be a good place to start. 

~Jenn

Have you had him evaluated?  My good friend has a child who has always struggled w/learning. She’s had minor speech issues, and some processing difficulties. She found a therapist who supported homeschooling and that helped.  She still struggles, but has made a lot of progress.  I don’t know what type of issues he has or if that helps…but I agree that he is blessed to have a loving mom who can teach directly to him one-on-one! Blessings, Gina

Faithwalk–My son has some pretty serious sensory issues too, and while he is a lot younger than yours, we already have to carefully tailor our teaching approach to his learning style. He is the same on the commercials (well, not commercials b/c we don’t have cable, but movie dialogue, etc.) We have found that if we use a combination tactile/aural approach, he does the best. For instance, I tried for months to teach him his letters and their sounds using books and workbooks, to no avail. But when I gave him a Leapfrog DVD and a set of wooden letters (Melissa and Doug), he had all the letters, big and little, and their sounds in three days. Often with these sensory kiddos you have to work really hard to find the combination of sensory approaches that will maximize their learning potential. I really do hope you find what works for your son. I know how much it must hurt to see him struggle, and I fully understand the problems involved in a potential “official” label (ours is, at the moment, “unofficially” confirmed by a very proficient pediatrician, but not on his actual records.)

Are you familiar with the FB group SPD Connect? You may be able to find some support there. It has been very helpful for us. Even if your kid doesn’t have a full Sensory Processing Disorder, there are still tons of incredibly helpful people and suggestions.

My heart goes out to you, I can really empathize with what you are experiencing with your son. My youngest (9) has trouble attending, retaining information and sometimes can’t access information he already knew well. It’s been constant theraputic type work and I began to worry this year, as he approached 4th grade and NYS mandates testing, that he is falling further behind or at least not progressing as they would expect him to. I also hesitated to have testing done or to label my son, but decided to proceed with testing for several reasons: I want to understand how his brain works so that I can meet his needs, and ultimately and most importantly, I want to help equip him to live a full, independent life as an adult, and felt I needed more information to do that.

It’s interesting, my guy also shared something about his brain works, like your son did; mine said, “Mommy, it’s like there’s a light in my brain, and when I try to think about math, the light just turns off. It’s just dark.” And it was fascinating to me to find that in Dr. Amen’s Identifying and Healing the 6 Types of ADD, some of the people used that exact phrase. The PET scans in the book showed that process in a very graphic way – parts of the brain just shut down in some people when they’re asked to concentrate on a task. I don’t know if that diagnosis could have anything to do with your son’s issues, but for my son it has certainly contributed to his speech delays and difficulties with learning and retaining information. We also learned about other areas that he has trouble with, as well as areas in which he’s strong, and we can build upon. Having him tested has really helped me feel more empowered to enter the new school year; perhaps it might help you with your son? As far as the label – who has to know? I look at it as a tool to try to help my child.

I also wonder, has your son seen a neurologist for the seizure disorder? We have considered seeing one due to our son’s prematurity and hemmorage as an infant (he arrived home as a preschooler), and I still wonder if that might hold another key to his learning puzzle. I have wondered about absence seizures with him too at some points, and was told they can happen much more frequently than anyone realizes, and can cause major lapses in learning without being controlled.

God bless you as you seek answers for your son.

Faithwalk,

Just this week I came across Psalm 77:19 – “Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters – a pathway no one knew was there.” I just want to encourage you that God can make a pathway for you and your son. You may not even see it as it happens, and there may be times when it feels like the mighty waters could overwhelm you, and the pathway may be one that you don’t see the end of, but only a little bit at a time. Jesus said He WILL be with you. Please let these words wash over you.

On a “practical” level….We have an adopted daughter who probably has some degree of fetal alcohol syndrome. She’s 10, working at a 1st gr. math level, maybe 2nd gr. with writing and spelling, barely reading at 3rd. A couple of things that I love about CM methods : I can intersperse delightful activities (poetry, drawing, composer and artist studies, reading wonderful books aloud, nature walks, singing) with the ones that are challenging,repetitious, sometimes frustrating. Also, she can still learn some history, science, missionary stories, etc. – all that I read aloud.

Hope this encourages you.