Feeling Outnumbered

Nina- i”ve been off the group for awhile because I just had my 6th child 2 weeks ago, but I felt I needed to encourage you. My oldest is 15, then 13, then 11 (with Asperger’s- high functioning autism), then 6, then 3, then newborn. I may not be able to check back on the forum, so feel free to PM me.

First of all, remember that it is a season you are in. It will not always be as hard as it is now.

And the whole training process IS a process. It will not happen overnight, but it happens slowly, day by day as you train them.

There are many days when we get nothing “schoolish” done here because we are dealing with horrendous behaviors from my 11 yo. But the Lord has always encouraged me…better that they are home in a loving, Christian atmosphere. They are learning all the time. I count it a good day as long as I’ve read the bible with my children and prayed with them at breakfast (and throughout the day as needed).

I have learned to stop “beating myself up mentally” over not having the perfect homeschool. Last year was what I thought was the worst ever year homeschooling (especially with my 11 yo dealing with lots of health issues) and when I tested him and the older children (our state requires testing but we don’t have to report scores) they all scored almost perfect on their tests. It is so true that when you seek first HIS kingdom (which is what you are doing by homeschooling and training them) everything else will be added unto you.

I too have battled depression and anxiety my whole life. It keeps me on my knees. And I’ve had the Lord renew my mind and my thinking….it’s so easy to focus on the negative of how far you have to go with training. I encourage you to write down what you are doing right…and you must be to get compliments from strangers when you are out.

I stopped reading all those parenting books that say what the children “should” be doing and when. Your situation is unique (as is everyone’s) and I only felt more burdened by feeling I could not live up to the ideas presented. But you know what, you don’t have to! I encourage you to seek the Lord alone and He WILL lead you.

Many blessings,

Nanci

Hi Nina, just wanted to say that although I only have the two daughters – our homeschool has been severely dented the last few years with crisis like hurricanes and now struggles with my daughter who is quite ill.  We have missed a lot of schooling and we have just accepted that they will graduate a couple of years later than their peers, because they need the extra time to be fair to them.  You will most likely get into a routine over the next few years, but if in the end you need an extra year or two, that will be fine.  Every family is different and if my daughter was in PS she would still have missed all that school and been way behind because of her illness and because of the storm and subsequent evacs and moves.  So we just accept that as part of our life and move on as best we can when we can.  I don’t want to add stress to our already worrying and stressful lives so we accept that our family is doing things differently – and we try not to let it worry us.  It is only when outsiders look agahst that we are still doing high school and my daughters are 18, that it feels odd – but we ignore them.  The HSLDA told us it was the right thing to do and that we should take as many years as we need to let them get done – illness and life happen and you cannot do anything. 

The point of this is to tell you not to beat yourself up, start some consistent training lessons with your children, utilize Sonya’s wonderful resources, and move forward a day at a time.  You will get there and if at the end one or more of your children need extra time, let them have it – don’t worry about it.  God bless – Linda