Feeling down because of too much "stuff"

This might sound funny, but I often get to feeling this way after reading portions of the Little House books. And I can’t resist pointing out to my kids how few actual “toys” or “games” the Ingalls girls had. Even the thought of having one cup each for Ma and Pa Ingalls and one cup that Mary and Laura shared for a number of years (until the Christmas when Laura received her own cup, or was it Laura and Carrie who shared until then?) makes me feel like we have such an abundance of things we could survive without.

I have decided that I need to set an example by getting rid of the things I tend to save “just in case we could use/make something with this.” I started doing this awhile back–you should have seen the empty egg cartons, plastic jars, paper towel tubes, etc. that I got rid of–but I need to get back to this.

We live in my elderly dad’s home, and he saves EVERYTHING! I mean, things like bottle caps (for gluing on the bottom of things that just need to be an inch off the floor), empty orange juice cartons (cut those puppies in half and they’re perfect to store all of his old audio cassette tapes), old prescription bottles (not a stray nail or screw escapes storage in this house). The worst part is that he doesn’t have a storage system for these things, so a lot of stuff gets left out so he can see it and not forget where it is….which doesn’t work. I appreciate his being ahead of his time with the whole “reduce, reuse, recycle” thing, but enough is enough!

We have been talking about having a yard sale for awhile now, and I think I ought to tackle it in the spring. It would be a lot of work, but if I could go through all of the cupboards and such, put out all of the excess dishes, casserole thingy-s, and knick knacks that we don’t want/need, then I could probably convince my dad to just let some organization haul the rest away after the sale. I’ll bet this would spur my kids on to greater purging.

When we moved into my dad’s home (in haste, 5 years ago), we didn’t bring much with us–just clothing, some personal items, a handful of toys, and some important documents. Several months later, my husband decided to move out of our old home into an apartment, so I had about 6 weeks to go through the attic, kitchen storage, and closets to decide what to keep. My dad’s attic, basement, and half of the closets were crammed full of 50+years of my parents’ adult life (my mom has been gone for 14 years now), so I couldn’t bring much into the house. I packed up three good-sized boxes of kitchen/entertaining stuff, two boxes of Christmas stuff, and the Christmas tree. The Christmas stuff and tree came over here and the other three boxes were stored in a friend’s attic. After 5 years, I can’t quite recall what is in those other three boxes, and apparently, I haven’t needed any of it.

So, I think my best recommendations would be to have a yard sale and decide that none of that stuff is coming back into the house–ever!–and then to box up whatever you think you could live without for awhile, get a friend to store it for 18 months, then get rid of it if you haven’t needed it by the end of that time.

I wish I had some advice, but I can only empathize with how you’re feeling. I’ve been feeling the same way. My IL’s kept asking what I wanted for Christmas, and it took me months to answer them, because the real truth was, I didn’t want any more “stuff” coming into our apartment. We are moving to a bigger one in April, and I’m hoping to simplify before then, so we’re only taking stuff with us that we actually use. DH will have an office in the additional bedroom when we move, so a few things things that take up space will be tucked away into that room, but by in large, I’ll still have the same amount of living space to worth with.

I do go through DD’s toys twice a year (a few weeks before her birthday in June, and a few weeks before Christmas) and weed out toys that she doesn’t play with anymore. She got wise to that about a year ago, though, and asks to hold on to things “for one more season” that she’s pretty much outgrown. Her clothes are much easier to de-clutter; whenever the season changes, out with the old size (passing down to someone else), in with the new size. DH has plenty of things he holds onto that he doesn’t use, but someday he might. And my mom passes down homeschooling stuff from when my brother was young. I use about 20 percent of it, but in the meantime, it’s all in boxes in our walk-in closet, because it’s kind of an all-or-nothing thing when it’s offered, and I don’t want to give away the rest, because I don’t know what she’ll want back to keep for my brother’s kids someday.

I am starting the new year with Flylady. I’m going to see if that helps me.

April

Box it up, move it out. If you’ve not needed it in the last 6 months you’re not likely to need it in the next 6!

We do keep clothing to pass down (I’m about to have baby #7). We have one tub per size and they fit in the attic. Each season change we go shopping in the attic for clothes. 😉 Toys – we go through these at least quarterly, passing on what is no longer played with. We try to keep things to a minimum in the toy department so we go for things that encourage creativity or last forever (like wooden blocks, lego, and the old Little People sets). As children get new things they have to pass old things on to Goodwill or others. There is a set amount of space for their toys, if everything doesn’t fit something has to go.

Books tend to take over – get rid of what you can. I often ask myself – do we really need 6 books about the Alamo or 8 books about dogs? LOL. I use Paperback Swap to move books out and get books free in return. I also love my Kindle – saves so much shelf space!

It’s not easy to get rid of things, but persistence pays off. Something comes in the house and something goes out. Something isn’t used and it goes out.

I LOVE to purge stuff! It’s one of my favorite things to do! My suggestion is to really evaluate the value of something when deciding whether to keep it or donate it or trash it. I am not a sentimental person, so maybe that’s why it’s easy for me to get rid of things without wondering if I’ll regret it later. I try not to attach feelings to things because I have learned that I need to hold on to what is eternal rather than the “stuff”. I don’t mean to make it sound super spiritual, but for me the stuff is all going to pass away some day, but my family, my sweet memories, love…those things are going to last.

Anyway, our home is very simplified now. It’s taken a few years to get it that way, but little by little, we have been learning to let go.

As an example, my husband’s two best friends died in a car accident 10 years ago. Lots of people make picture collages of David with his friends and gave them to him after their deaths. We have been married for 9 years, and David finally let go of the last picture collage this past year. It wasn’t that I pressured him to get rid of it. Those were sacred things to him, and I would have never asked him to part with them. For the past six years, those collages had stayed in boxes in our garage or in a closet, depending on which house we were living in. We were cleaning out the garage last summer, and David pulled those collages out, gave them one last look, and got rid of them. He said that he has his wonderful memories and stories with his friends, and that he’s never going to take those pictures out and display them in our house. He kept them while he felt like he still needed them and then parted with them in his own time. That’s just one example of how we have been able to part with our stuff little bits at a time.

Some other things we do:

• keep most of our photos in digital form in files on our computer rather than having stacks and stacks of photos. We print out only those that are going to be framed.
• sort and clean out books a couple of times a year and get rid of any that kids have outgrown or that are torn
• take advantage of sales on plastic storage bins so that we can keep certain sentimental items stored away protected in our attic
• give away all clothes AS SOON AS they are outgrown (we have 1 boy and 1 girl and our family is complete). My mother-in-law runs a benevolence ministry that gives clothes away, so we have easy access to give our clothes away quickly, rather than letting them accumulate in piles or take up space in our closets
• involve kids in helping to clean out. Our children have come to enjoy orderliness, so it’s been fairly easy to teach them to get rid of things

I hope that helps! I really understand where you’re coming from; I’ve been there!

Lindsey

I can relate to you, as many others on here can as well.  We currently live in a house that is under 1000 sq. ft.  (no basement) We have 3 kids, and homeschool (of course!).  We moved about 4  years ago from a house about 1160 sq. ft, so it was a huge downsize.

My biggest advice is to PRAY.  I know…that sounds like a typical Christian response, but from experience, I can say it has really helped me.  Just a few days ago I was extremely frustrated with the state of our house.  Too much stuff to deal with.  I hate it!  To top it off, we decided not to sell our house this spring, but wait till the following year.  A very big disapointment for me.  So I prayed God would help me to live in this house as long as He has us here. Oh, and my kids do not have tons of toys.  But when you are in a small house, even a relatively small amount of toys can seem like too much.

Well, I am now rearranging our house.  Moving all our kids to one bedroom to free up a small room to make into a schoo room/office.  It was greatly needed. 
Time and time again, I have been discouraged with my home, only to discover that there was yet another way to organize/sort things that made even better use of my space.  I am continually amazed at how the Lord helps me as we stay in our small home.  One day soon, I hope we’ll be in a much bigger house, but till then, I will keep praying and seeking wisdom with how to best use our space.

Getting good, practicle advice on how to get rid of things is vital…but don’t forget to pray!!  Just when I thought I’d tried every way to get my house in order, I come up with another way to do things!

Hoping you find some answers to help you on this path!