60-day returns • free shipping on USA orders $129+
Feeling a bit down
- This topic has 10 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 5 months ago by
.
Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
- Posts
Well, yesterday went well,and today didn’t.
I couldn’t get motivated and we got no school done. I don’t feel like I’m doing well at getting them doing things, and I don’t want to have to “push” them to get doing things all the time.
Right this moment (after group violin class) I’m feeling like I’m failing at this. We haven’t had a real violin practice for a week now, and even when we do, it isn’t what it should be. My son’s teacher has basically said he should be practicing about an hour a day, and I think even when we do practice it is more like 20 minutes. My daughter should probably be practicing about 30 minutes a day, and it is more like 15 minutes. And my next daughter should be practicing about 10 minutes a day, and if we practice at all it is a miracle. Today my son’s teacher suggested that for group lessons, he should move back to the book 1 class (with his sister) instead of being with the book 2/3 class. (he does only know one book 2 song so far). She did make it sound like it was optional… but I think she would prefer it. Also he is supposed to play a violin song at church in a bit more than a month and I’m not sure it will be ready…
I just feel like we just aren’t getting anywhere in anything. I get to feeling like my kids aren’t remembering anything I teach them or any books we read. And during free time, what they mostly want to do is watch tv or play on computer. I can’t get any sort of firm routine going. I’m sick of “I don’t want to”, “why do I have to”, etc.
Suzukimom, I’m sorry you’ve had a tough day. Some days are just like that. I think I recall that your kids are quite young and while I’m not familiar with violin, I know my dd10 who plays piano (in her 4th year) practices 45 minutes per day and some days only 30. I’m not trying to create a musical genius and this is realistically the time we’re willing to devote right now. DS7 who just began in July practices only 20 minutes per day sometimes in two sessions. Perhaps the expectation is a bit high?
The other thing that jumps out at me is the screen time mentioned. Nothing stifles like screen time. Each family is different, but in our home, we’ve been successful for many years with our plan. We do not watch anything on TV or DVD through the week and have 1 family movie night (either Fri. or Sat.) where we eat pizza on a picnic blanket in the loft watching whatever we’ve chosen. Sometimes (perhaps once every month or so), we’ll watch an extra something or an educational DVD. Daily screen time (computer & ipad) is limited to only 20 minutes per child and they only use it every other day or so.
Blessings,
Christie
I’m sorry you’re feeling down but may I humbly suggest that it is your job to push them to do things. It may not be always pleasant to do the work of being the parent but you are the leader not them so you need to be the one calling the shots.
Perhaps spending some time on this website looking at articles about establishing good habits might be helpful to you. Many people allow no tv or computer time unless the work is done first. Complaining is not allowed in other homes. If your children can talk you out of working they will keep on doing it. As the parent I feel it is my job to decide what gets done and when. This is part of training my children to be good stewards of their time.
As far as musical practice you decide how much time your children can spend practicing but then the teacher has the right and responsibility to decide what level they belong in dependent on how well they are doing.
I hope that something I have said will be useful to you and many blessings on your tomorrow.
So sorry to hear about your rough day. I have been there numerous times! May I suggest what has worked well for us? I have never been a strict, rigid schedule person, but I made one, and forced myself to stick with it. I have tweaked it as needed over time, and made it more realistic as I’ve noticed patterns of where it breaks down, but sticking with it has been like a miracle for our family. The kids know what to expect, they know that their free time gets cut into if they don’t get done, and schoolwork gets done pretty much every day, with only a little bit of fussiness from my oldest especially, occasionally my 3rd child. Also, we severely limit any tv time during the week. Maybe once a week they’ll hang out with Daddy and watch Chopped or something. Movies are limited to weekends only, and even then it’s pretty rare. They spend their free time reading, playing outside, playing with mostly non-twaddly (ie, imaginative) toys, etc. Maybe I go overboard, but I have to live with them and work with them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week 🙂 so I’ve learned what things set us up for failure.
I hope some of this helps! Prayers for a better day (and a better outlook) tomorrow!
I can so relate, and I do think we are normal. 🙂
I won’t add anything else to the already good advice above for your kids, but I will say what REALLY helps me personally. Reading some motivating scripture (just yesterday I needed to hear James 1 about not being a mere hearer but EFFECTUAL DOER! :0 )
Also, I despise having to exercise, but when I make myself do a 20 minute workout (bring on some Michael Buble tunes :), I literally feel so much better before getting dressed in the mornings. I have more energy and my mind feels cleared.
Hope you have a better day today. Off to the ol’ treadmill….
Dear Suzukimom,
Oh, how I understand how you feel. I’m sorry you are having a hard time and feel let down within yourself. This is when we MUST tell ourselves to get up and keep going. My 6 year old daughter has a saying ( I think she based it on a lesson from church): Don’t give up when things get tough! It helps to chant it to a little rhythmn. And prayer. Going to the Lord with every thing is exactly what He wants us to do. He cares. Really.
About TV/Computer – wise advice from the others. I remember some time back when my children were not very attentive during family Bible time for a string of nights, my husband pointed out to them that they easily sit still and pay attention when the TV is on. He calmly but firmly said no TV for the rest of the week. It helped. Of course, TV/computer usage is a personal choice from one family to the next, but if it is wasting your children’s time and brains, I would suggest limiting it greatly.
I hope today is a better day. Be positive and cheerful. Even if your children do not follow suit right away, you will probably feel better knowing that you are trying!
Jennifer
(((HUGS)))
Yep, we all have days like that, and there are areas where things just never seem to pull together at my house too. I’ll share my thoughts since you asked
First, the music practice sounds like a lot, but I do understand the Suzuki method has you do all your songs all the time. I would say choose a specific time of day for each child to practice. Then whatever is happening then gets stopped for their practice if the music is that important to you. (And all of us have different priorities for our families – that’s okay!). Three kids doing it, I would have the youngest player practice in the morning before or right after they eat breakfast. I would have the oldest child practice in the afternoon, and the middle child probably before lunch (I’m thinking that child can play in the kitchen while youre cooking and you can ‘oversee’ practice that way?)
Screen time: Every family is different and we do things differently for different seasons even. Currently my kids play NO screen related games except for Saturday morning, when everyone gets 20-30 minutes on either the Wii, XBox, or computer (their choice). That’s it. Netflix or DVDs don’t come on until all the schoolwork is done, and then we alternate with active play. You have to play for 1-2 hours for every half hour of watching a show (generally 2). We just turn it off. No child is ever allowed to turn on a show, it is by permission only. Then we have a range of ages, so many times if it is a little ones’ show the olders don’t bother watching, or vice versa, so they really do a lot more playtime.
Good luck!
Sorry you’re struggling so. It does sound very challenging to get in a full school day AND all that violin practice. But totally understand if that’s important to you. I don’t have much to add. What works here is they each have a list of what needs to be accomplished each day and no free time/computer time until it’s done. When they’re done, they are allowed 30 min. or so of computer time. It’s not even an option unless work is done first. But I believe my kids are older (12 and 9), so are pretty self-motivated…understanding no work, no play!! Hope you find a solution soon. Blessings, Gina
P.S. Oh, and I totally commisserate with kids not seeming to remember! My eldest is like this. What seems to be helping a bit is trying whenever I can to have a bit of review just by asking a few qu. I jot history timeline dates down as we go, then on Friday we put them on a timeline and I re-ask what all the events/date meant. And whenever something comes up connected to something we’ve read I try to point that out. Ny youngest seems to make his own connections, but I feel the need to point things out to my eldest more….even though not CM, I suppose.
Thanks for all the suggestions.
I emailed my husband at work last night (he works nights) telling him that I felt I was failing the kids etc (although saying I still felt it was better than sending them to school…) He suggested maybe we need to un-school for a while. (I’m so proud… my husband knows different styles of homeschooling!… we discussed it about 4 years ago….) Now we aren’t going to do that… but it is a reminder that the kids aren’t going to turn into total mushrooms if we take it easy now and then. I also mentioned the 3 on, 3 off possiblity (lining up off time with my likely down days) and he said “do whatever you need to do”. I did mention with that that we would need to school year-round (something he is pretty opposed to) and he did respond again with “do whatever you need to do”…. so maybe I’ll look at it. I’m just worried that if I changed to 3 on, 3 off, that when summer hit, he would oppose doing school…..
I just recently gave up on trying to set a schedule for our house. It stresses me out and we fail misserably at it….. or more like I fail misserably at it.
I used to be against year round, until I realized it makes my year more relaxed. :). I do not stress about meeting a May deadline anymore and I can take my time with the major subjects of History modules, math, and reading. I don’t do the extra stuff in summer (like composer or artist study…that is looked forward to in the coming fall after a summer break from it.)
And usually by July everything is wrapped up anyway. The summer weeks are light, even with still doing some of the major school subjects. I don’t have a determined yearly schedule, I just check things off as we do them, and move on. It gets done eventually and I still have a month off in the summer with this type of scheduling.
HTH!
Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
- The topic ‘Feeling a bit down’ is closed to new replies.