feedback please on this written narration

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  • October 16, 2015 at 10:58 am
    caedmyn
    Participant

    I need some feedback on my 4th grader’s written narration. I’m not sure what to focus on when having her make corrections. Here’s the narration as she wrote it (this is from one of More Jakata Tales in English Lessons Through Literature 3). “Browny” is supposed to be spelled Brownie

    Once there were two deer named Beauty and Browny they lived in the forest with there father and mother and other herds of deer. There father told them you must take your herds away from danger to the hills, travel only at night and don’t take your herds near the villages for the hunters who live there will kill you. So they set of for the hills. Beauty was wise and didn’t lose any deer. But Browny was folish and losed many deer. When they returned home Beauty had all his deer but Browny only had a few deer left.

    October 16, 2015 at 11:06 am
    sarah2106
    Participant

    I am not an expert, my oldest is in 4th grade 🙂 but that is very similar to what she narrated with that same story. I remember us doing that one last spring, right at the end of the school year.

    Currently with my DD we are focusing on capitalization and punctuation. She is doing better on those so we have moved onto words that she knows, but tends to go through quickly and spell wrong. For example she will spell the word “like” as “luke” because she just didn’t take the time to spell it correctly.

    She will hand me her narration and I will hand it back and ask her to read it aloud to herself. Checking for errors. Reading aloud she catches more errors because she hears the natural flow of the reading for pauses to end sentences and things like that.

    I don’t know if it is “correct” but so far it is working to focus on just one things (or similar things) for a time until she shows progress and then moving on from there.

    October 16, 2015 at 12:05 pm
    Tristan
    Participant

    Decide your focus for that piece.  Are you worried about spelling? (I wouldn’t be, that is for your Spelling Wisdom time).  Look to the content first, are they doing well with getting the details right?  Great!  If not, then consider checking their facts/understanding with them (is that what happened in the story?  I remember it differently.  Should we check?)and shortening what they are reading or listening to before narrating.  Is there one thing you are focusing on remembering to do correctly?  It may be a specific punctuation thing, or capitalizing names, etc.  Look only for that one area and point out where they did it well and if they missed a spot.

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