Fears

Hi,  I am just going to voice an opinion here but having had experience with phobia’s and the problems they can cause, I would sugges you talk to a doctor about this and take some medical advice.  Phobia’s which is what your son seems to have can seem to improve over time – but then will rear their ugly heads later on in life and sometimes when they are adults and cause all kinds of problems.  Because of personal experience with a family member who had a childhood phobia, which went away and then returned when they were adult something triggered it – I strongly recommend medical advice on this.  It can become super debilitating and cause untold heartache for the person who has the phobia.  We were in Biloxi MS for hurricane Katrina and I know what that was like – we lost our home to flooding and for a long time after we were all unsettled – but whatever has caused this don’t dismiss it too lightly – phobias can affect a whole life, far better to get it dealt with when they are young, than to have them really struggle when they are older.  This may not be what you wanted to hear, but I hope you will consider what I have said – it is something I feel strongly about, because I know what a nightmare a phobia can be when ignored.  My family member had the incident at 3 years old, and it did not cause huge issues until they were adult – and then it was and still is a problem.  Bless you – Linda

I agree with Sara – there is usually a trigger that causes it and a trigger that brings it back from the recesses of the mind later in life if it is not dealt with.  My relative has seen psychologists regularly and with biofeedback other tools, they have taught him to manage his fears, though some linger.  They told him had he dealt with it as a child (or his parents had) then it would not be such a hard task.  Unfortunately his parents were unaware of the problem lurking in the subconscious because unlike your son, there were no outward signs with him.  You have the opportunity to nip this in the bud – don’t be afraid to get help for him – it sounds like it is affecting you all now.  Pray on it, and I will pray for you as well. Hugs – Linda

I agree that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk to the pediatrician about it.

If that’s not an option for some reason, or if your doctor doesn’t think there’s anything medical going on, maybe you could pay a visit to your local drain commissioner’s office and ask to see the maps of your neighborhood. Your son can see where the water goes when it rains really heavily, and maybe that will help reassure him. (It might also help to know that there is a whole office of grown-ups who work to make sure the area WON’T flood.)

Btw, I would just be glad that he is TALKING to you about this, and don’t discourage him from expressing his fears. When I was little and had to go live in Colorado with my grandparents for a few months, I was TERRIFIED of volcanoes. I had no idea that only -certain- mountains could be volcanically active … I thought just about ANY mountain could just spontaneously erupt! (I come from a state with no mountains at all!) I had terrible nightmares about volcanoes. I had no idea that my ideas about volcanoes weren’t true, and I never talked to a grownup about it, because I didn’t think there was anything THEY could do … so I was just quietly terrified. My mom and grandparents didn’t know for years that I had been so scared!

Lindsey you make some good points that should definitely be considered and worked with – I would just hate to see this isue not dealt with and then become a bigger problem later in life.  I would keep all options open and if a professional is recommended, then find a Christian counselor – it just seems to me that at this point when there is a lot of frustration with the sitution in the family that perhaps an outside voice could help. 

I want to toss in a few other possibilities as well, and you can pray about the ones you think you need to follow up on.  First—in my experience so far, I’ve run into several children who were terrified of drains and water going down them.  Remember that a five-year-old’s ability to reason carefully is not very far advanced.  I had a child who was POSITIVE he could be washed down the drain, even when I repeatedly pointed out to him that he could not fit.  His little mind just couldn’t accept that yet.  It was the fivish-sixish age when he began to improve, so your son may be at the edge of when it should have gotten better, and it might be worth bringing it up to your pediatrician if it seems to be worsening especially.  But I am willing to bet your ped. has dealt with more than one child afraid of water/drains in early childhood–it’s not terribly unusual. 

A few other issues to consider–does the child have other areas of unusual anxiety?  Some children are just more anxious than others.  This can be related to a number of things–giftedness being one, and a tendency to anxiety disorders another.  I have one child who is just very, very, very anxious.  All the time.  About many things.  If he sneezes he thinks he’s getting the flu.  If someone raises a voice he thinks there is a terrible argument.  If it thunders and lightnings, he is certain it will hit the house.  That kind of thing.  I’ve found books on children and phobias and children and anxieties to be very helpful.  They’ve given me some tools to use to help him deal realistically with his anxiety.  This should be coupled with Christian based information as well as some posters have already mentioned.  I’m afraid my poor son gets it from me as I can tend toward being very anxious as well–better than I used to be, for many reasons, but still.  I had panic attacks as a child, and my son has had something approximating these too. 

Another issue to possibly explore is sensory issues.  Some children just experience sensory input much more severely than other children do.  This can be related to giftedness, or to conditions like autism-spectrum problems.  He may be honestly having a difficult time dealing with the sensory input of water rushing and that may have contributed to the problem.  Does he also have difficulty with loud sounds or does other sensory input bother him more than your other children?

Just additional thoughts.  Isn’t it amazing, how difficult it is to raise children?  How does the “world” ever think that being a homemaker is a job of brainless drudge-work?  I’ve NEVER had to work  harder or use more intelligence, discernment and judgment in any other thing I’ve ever done–mothering takes the cake!