Family Worship

Sanveann, so sorry to hear that you are having a rough time – I really do know how that is. I thought of one thing that I have done with all of mine that helps a little. For instance, at our church we usually sing the Gloria Patri, the Doxology, do the Lord’s Prayer, etc. I work with them on those things that happen each week. During church I will quietly whisper for them to listen out, such and such is coming up, and get them to look forward to what is coming next. Then I might whisper “do you recognize that?” and usually get a smile, and eventually they will participate in it themselves. That’s just a little thing that helps them feel like they are a part of what is going on and not just a spectator. Thought maybe that idea might help? 

Mjemom, thanks for the great suggestions! Maybe even watching Mass on EWTN now and then would help a bit, too … it might seem more familiar to them when we’re at church.

Sanveann – that is another good idea – we sort of did that too, we would listen to sermons (not every day, but here and there) and practice sitting still and quiet (our sermons were longer than most, so we needed some extra practice). The things I focused on at first were the things I knew happened every week – we talked about it during the week so they could anticipate it when we were there on Sunday. I think there is a big difference when they see it more as something they are a part of than something they just have to endure (especially for wiggly little boys!) Hang in there – it is a long an arduous process – but it does get better. Please let me know how it goes! 

As a part of a Messianic Jewish Congregation with prayer book liturgy, too, here’s some ideas for non-readers and a long service; ours runs about 1 1/2+ hrs. Like you said Sanveann, start watching it on tv is good; begin a process of memorizing the liturgy with them since they can’t read it yet. If you can get a copy of it made at your church to listen to at home, that could be useful in that endeavor; then they wouldn’t be lost during the liturgy. We have materials that teach about the various symbols we use in our service; yours are not too young to start teaching what the different items in the Sanctuary are and their meanings, then when they are there, they can point them out to and be excited that they know what everything means. Children can comprehend so much more than what we give them credit for sometimes. Do you have some materials or other resources to help you teach this at home?

Also, during the message time, there are two distinct things that I have read of families doing; you can decide which age and child it would appeal to; one option is to have older ones draw a picture during the service of what the Priest, Preacher, etc. is talking about, using a “Just for services” sketchbook (basically early narrating); the other is letting them play with quiet items, like Bible pages for coloring during the message or Lauri type toys and/or Bible felts, for your tactile ones (they’ll grow out of the need for it and they will still pick things up from the message). Just explain to them that when you stand to sing or do liturgy, it gets set aside for the time-bein’.

Reviewing and practicing ahead of time on what is expected at G-d’s House is vital. Impressing early the Holiness of the place you’re in and the attitude of respect that we offer to G-d by our behavior; He deserves our best. Not-to-mention the consequences made clear for misbehavior, whatever you find most effective. I know when our Rabbi has to say something to a child about behaving, they shape up quickly! If possible, bring them to your Priest every Sunday aferwards, so they can interact with him, telling him it was a good homely (sp?) and thanking them; that instills respect for his spiritual authority which reinforces good behavior while he’s speaking, IMO. Also, lots of discussion afterwards.

And most importantly, pray with them and over them in the mornings before you go, for them to ask G-d for self-control and Blessings for the family, asking for help to give G-d Honor and thanking Him for what He’s done for us; that we can come and worship and praise Him. I think praying with them beforehand can help get their spirits in line and their mindsets trained for joyful worship. It will require patience, perseverance and diligence, but the Spirit of G-d can fall on them, too and be a great witness for your husband as well. Satan definitely doesn’t want your family worshipping together and loves to have your husband discouraged and wants him to find a reason not to go as it would weaken your family.

HTH, Rachel

It’s funny that this topic just came up, because today at Mass I sat behind a mom who was there with FIVE kids, all by herself! (I’d left mine home with DH.) We chatted a bit afterward, and she said the oldest was 7 and the youngest was 2 weeks. They were really good, too! We talked about having a playdate at some point, so I’m going to have to pick her brain and see how she gets them all to behave so nicely 🙂