Family time suggestions, please

Geocaching is a great idea! And something my husband has mentioned in the past. I think we’ll have to try it!

Claire, if we don’t have some sort of an idea of what we’re going to do in the evenings, we end up watching a movie or something else on Netflix together. Not the worst thing in the world, but as a family who tries to limit screen time, I’m ashamed to say that over the last couple of months, we’ve reverted to watching something on the screen more often than I am comfortable with. If nothing is planned, the kids’ first question is, “Can we watch a show?” And then about 50% of the time, we’re saying yes to that because we have no idea of what else to do. The other 50% of the time, we’ll play a game or dh will take the kids swimming for a while, but as i mentioned earlier, swimming is about to end as the weather cools off.

When we lived in our own single-family home with our own yard, this wasn’t a big deal at all. There was plenty for us to do as a family, whether it was playing outside or even just my dh and I sitting in our swing and watching the kids ride bikes or draw with chalk on the driveway. In the winter time, we bundled up and played in the snow. In an apartment, it just feels different. Many people have dogs in our complex, us included, and the grass right outside of our door is a popular place to take dogs to potty. Fortunately, our apartment has rules about picking up after your pet, but the poop trashcan is in the plot of grass outside our door. I don’t want my kids playing in that grass, even if there’s no visible poop, ya know? 😉 There’s a playground at our complex, but my children aren’t interested in playgrounds anymore. Just the other day, ds10.5 told us that he felt like he was too old for the playground.

Worse than watching a show or even being bored, is my own mommy guilt. I feel that I haven’t been intentional about our family time when the evening passes without us doing something together (other than TV) that’s fun and enjoyable for everyone. My children are older now (9 and 10.5), and reality has set in that they’re growing up too fast. So this is more about me needing ideas to create intentional times of togetherness and fun with my family than anything else. 

Just yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend. She had overscheduled her children and was spending hours of her day running to and from various extracurriculars and activities. She was exhausted and missed the free, unstructured time they once enjoyed. I told her I was in the opposite position. I feel like we have way too much time on our hands. The children and I have 3-4 hours a day of free, unstructured play time with which to pursue our own interests, take a nap, read a book or whatever we choose. After we eat dinner, there’s another 2.5 hours to fill, and none of us is interested in doing what we just did in the previous 3-4 hours. Does that make sense? So my friend and I both agreed that we were at opposite ends of a spectrum of time and we both need to find the balance. 

@MountainMamma, Dh and I let the kids stay up untl almost midnight a few weeks ago for the meteor shower. We went out in pjs to a remote country road and waited for almost an hour to see the shower. We saw two very faint meteors, and that was it. We were all so disappointed! Still, that’s a great idea!

ETA: After contacting several nursing homes, I finally found one yesterday that would be happy to have our family serve one evening per week. We are all very excited about this! 

Yep, once we finish with school, chores, and lunch by about 1:30, we’ve got until dh gets home to do whatever we like. That’s at 4:30 or 5:00. Our afternoons are wonderful and slow and I love them. But by evening time, I’m ready for a change of pace, and so are the children.

I actually don’t even interact with my kids much during that time, unless I’ve planned a baking day or an afternoon at the park. Usually, they’re off in their own world with their Legos or stuffed animals or they want to lay down and read for an hour or two. So, yeah, in the evenings, we need to be together as a family and focus on our family’s culture. It’s just hard to come up with stuff that interests everyone! And because my kids are getting older, the stuff that was once fun and interesting to them seems to be changing–as it should. I just have to keep up!

I wanted to check back in and let you all know what dh and I have decided for our family’s evenings.

We decided to keep Family Movie Night on Fridays since we all enjoy that and it’s a great way to start the weekend. I contacted a nursing home that is very excited to have our family come on Thursday evenings and spend time with their residents in the locked Alzheimer’s/dementia ward. They currently have no volunteers for those residents, so we immediately felt that was a need our family could meet. Sundays are for rest and everyone to do whatever they like (watch a football game, nap, read, watch a movie, etc.). We are keeping Saturdays open for entertaining friends or going to friends’ houses.

Our other nights aren’t scheduled as they previously were. My children are clock watchers and constantly want to stay on a schedule and have the same routine week after week. I suppose I am partly to blame for this. Anyway, we aren’t going to schedule anything for the remaining nights of the week, as we feel that it’s important for our children to also learn spontaneity. So dh and I have the other activities in our minds but not on the schedule, if that makes sense. Geocaching was something he was particularly interested in, so we will plan on that once every couple of weeks, as soon as we can figure it out. We have decided to hook our Wii back up (hasn’t been used in 2 years) and have dance parties using Just Dance once a week. Our kids have discovered Just Dance videos on YouTube and our family has been doing that together for a couple of days now. We are also going to have our nature walk one evening per week, and will plan it depending on weather.

I am very interested in beginning to learn a craft, such as crocheting, with dd. I haven’t decided the best way to go about doing this, but I’m looking into it. I just don’t have much patience with teaching crafts to my kids, especially when the craft is wholly unfamiliar to me as well.

All your other ideas were stellar and helped us a lot. Some, like cooking or baking as an entire family, just aren’t doable in our current home. As much as we love the smaller space in which we now find ourselves, this apartment is sorely lacking a kitchen that all of us can fit in at once. Two at most is all we can do without frustration, and even that is challenging. Plus, I cook 3 meals a day, and I honestly don’t want to get back into the kitchen again in the evening once dinner is finished and the kitchen cleaned.

Thank you again for your wonderful suggestions!