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extended family and book quality
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My DD is turning 6 on Monday and is starting to take off with reading. My mom sent her a 4-book set of Junie B Jones for me to wrap to give her from my parents. I had heard of the series, but never really knew about it but DH and I definitely do not feel comfortable with her reading it after doing some more research. DD is used to reading great literature and won’t be sad a bit, but I am looking for help on how to handle the situation with my parents. We are not on the best of terms right now (long story, but basically things are strained surrounding holiday travel) and I don’t want to rock the boat further. My mom is expecting to watch her open her gifts on skype, so I’m just not sure how things will play out. This is not the first time they have gifted us something that we don’t want our kids to have (when DS was turning 4 they sent him some electronic tablet type toy) but gifts is my mom’s love language and I figure it will cause a big blowup. I guess either I can let her open it and then try to exchange it later without telling my mom, or I can bring it up with my mom to try to explain the issues we take with it. She isn’t a Christian and I know she thinks we are too strict with the kids and overprotective of them. However, we just take issue with how Junie is rude and disrespectful and gets away with it. Obviously it’s not quality literature either! I am not sure how to explain our issue to “maybe” prevent this from happening again?
Would she let your children make a wish list? That way. You could include specific books or authors on the list.
When you’re chatting with your mom , you could mention how much Susie enjoyed whatever book she read lately and how much she’d like the sequel…..stuff like that.
These are things that work with my mom. (That and just explaining to my kids why we’re not letting them have this gift, of buying an alternate gift for the kid so that I can take away Nana’s gift.)
The good thing is that as your kids get older, your mom will probably start to ask them directly what they want.
When my older son was little, my mother in law, who lived far away from us, and whom we saw maybe twice a year, sent lots of gifts for him throughout the year. She was an avid yard sale shopper, so she often sent boxes of toys and clothes for him. My husband and I wondered from time to time if we should try to dissuade her or ask her not to send so many noisy, busy toys. We never did though, because her love language was gift giving, and because we lived so far apart, we knew this was her way of feeling close.
When my son was almost 5, my mother in law passed away from cancer. We are so glad we never said anything about her excessive gifts, but simply let the two of them enjoy the short relationship they ended up having.
I wouldn’t strain the relationship either. Maybe you and your daughter can read it aloud together and have some great conversations. You may find out that she doesn’t even like the books.
I’ve had my mother-in-law refuse gifts or return them to me and it is very hurtful. So, I try to just be grateful and gracious even if I’m just going to throw it away later.
I would just say, “thank you” and then decide what to do with the books, but I wouldn’t make a big issue about it (unless it was an intentional attempt to undermine our authority or convictions.) It’s just not worth the pain that refusing a gift can cause.
I agree. I would just say “thank you” and move on. Eventually they’ll make their way out of the house just as the skankily-dressed Barbie dolls gifted to my girls somehow disappeared. Your child will be exposed to so many living books that I don’t think a “Junie” now and then will hurt.
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