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Eldest child help
- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 9 months ago by
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i have a question to all moms out there. My eldest son 11, just joined our homeschool this month. He was in public school. We now homeschool my daughter 7 and him. We also have a 2 1/2 and a baby due spring. My question is how do I get my eldest to take part in play and learning time with my toddler. He has never really ever took an interest in the baby but now that he is home all the time my toddler tries hard to get his attention and play with him. He snubs him or half does things not ever giving him really love and attention for even a couple minutes. I have always tried to encourage and even explained the negative impact that can have in their relationship as they get older but nothing works. He even sees his friends come over and talk and pay attention to the baby and I show him that but still nothing. He plays and gets along as brother and sister do 😜with my 7 yr old. But there is just no relationship whatso ever with my toddler and I worry about the next baby as well. Any advise or ideas on what to do would be so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Maybe start really small? Put a new floor puzzle, a board book and some other toy the toddler likes in a “Brother Time Bin” and bring it out once/day, instructing him to choose one thing to do with the toddler for a few minutes while you unload the dishwasher. Keep it short and simple and don’t make a big deal out of it. Perhaps do it right after a meal or snack when he seems to be in a happy mood. Praise him for having a good attitude when he does it without complaining.
I would also allow him to put a hook and eye latch up high on the door of his bedroom (from the outside) so that he can have a sense of respect for his space from the youngsters not always getting into his stuff. That could be pretty annoying for an 11yo to endure. Or if he shares a room, maybe a certain shelf up high that’s off limits to the little ones.
Just some thoughts. I have 6, ages 15-4. One of them is an 11yo boy. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well. 🙂
I have a 10yo boy (two girls in between) and a 2yo girl. My 10yo likes the idea of “teaching” things to the toddler. So sometimes I will give him some song ideas to sing with her. He likes building, so he will build duplo creations they can play together. I have them play on a blanket together twice a week (all of my big kids take a turn with the toddler during dinner prep) and this is a special time for them.
Thank you ladies so much for your advise. I am going to try them immediately! I really pray that their relationship will develop one day. I was the youngest of 4 and my brothers and sister always ignored me and I was alone. I really don’t want that for my little ones.
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