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Done with CM?
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This is our 5th year doing a CM homeschool
When my oldest was in K, we did a Year 0 – I read to him things like Beatrix Potter, House from Pooh Corner, etc – outdoor time, etc.
Then we did a Year 1 with a mixture of AO and Milestones Academy. Honestly we should have waited a year (he was a very young 6)
The next year we did the parts of AO Year 1 we hadn’t done before for most of it… and just a mish-mash for the last bit…
Then we did a family-style CM mentored program (its one and only year) with my 2 oldest, and a couple of months of SCM. That was last year.So this year our plan was to do AO Year 2 for my oldest, and AO Year 1 for my next oldest using Audiobooks to make things as independent as possible. I spent a long time this summer making up a “web” page (not on the internet) for each student with links to each chapter in the audiobook etc… And for today I’ve tried a simplified version of AO
I also have a 4yo and a 2yo at home…
Well every year I’m full of stress. School just always seems like a big long to-do-list, and it doesn’t seem like we get in anything very fun. My son of almost 9 had almost a full-blown temper tantrum trying to read from Understood Betsy (with the audiobook!) today – when I insisted, he did finally do it….. but it has been a pain. Although we have done a “lot” the last few days – I’ve been in tears by the end of each day. I am pulled in so many directions.
Yes, I know this is the season of my life – but I’m tired of it. My kids have learned bits and pieces of stuff but I feel like things have been fragmented. I’m stressed out, and honestly, I’ve been ending up yelling a lot at the kids which isn’t working for anyone. (Hm – I had a parent (dad) call and complain that his son’s teacher is yelling at him and that it needs to stop…. – of course that is me…) It maybe sounds a bit worse (the yelling) than it is – but it does happen.
I read things on here about kids loving the books and never wanting to stop at the chapter end – quoting books, etc – and I can guarantee it isn’t my kids! My almost 9yo son is upset if he is ever expected to write more than a couple of words on paper (no, we aren’t doing written narrations yet – but things like church or cubs). I think they would wish they could go to a PS if they didn’t have a nephew the same age who complains about it.
I love the sound of CM – but it sure isn’t working for us that well. Why should I keep trying at CM?
Wouldn’t it be easier if you kept everyone together and expected less? Less with a lighter stress load is worth a lot to me. I would go absolutely insane trying to juggle all my kids in different books for every subject. ((HUGS)) It’s not easy either way, but it seems easier on me to keep them together.
Here is how things really are working for me (official grades are 6th, 2nd, 1st, K, with a preK a toddler and a baby along for the ride).
– Math: Math U See. I teach one lesson per week for each level and try to stagger those on different days. So my 6th grader gets a new lesson with me (or the dvd!) on Monday, then my 2nd and 1st graders (in a book together) get their new lesson the next day and the K gets his lessons on a third day. The rest of the week is overseeing practice pages if help is needed and sitting them down for the tests when they’re ready.
– Reading/Literature: those still learning to read spend 10 minutes reading aloud daily. My 6th grader is doing a literature study of Anne of Green Gables using the Progeny Press guide. basically she reads the book and does 1-2 pages in the guide each day. Some of this has her doing projects or discussions. I’m the main discussion companion. Her current project is organizing a recitation like Anne is in, so she’s been helping the younger ones learn poems and songs and there is a performance coming up.
– Writing is done mostly in notebooking, with one day each week devoted to writing a story or letter instead. They notebook in history one day, science the next, and just keep alternating. If they want to do more they can. We notebook or write at the same time (as a group) so i’m overseeing them all at once.
– Science: happens about twice a week. All younger kids together (2nd on down). We read a living book and enjoy it. Right now we’re doing weather, so lots of looking outside and talking about the weather too. My 6th grader is using Christian Kids Explore Physics 1-2 days per week, she usually just grabs the book and goes. She may share the experiment with her siblings. Nature study is informal and everyone enjoys it.
– History: Totally as a family. We read one main book together. Then I have extras they can browse on topics from the main book as desired. They notebook about this as described earlier. (We’re doing Church history, so our main book is The Work and the Glory series, with scriptures in hand to go along.
– Five Minute Studies: I did a whole blog post on these right before taking a blog break. http://ourbusyhomeschool.blogspot.com/2012/09/five-minute-studies.html We spend a concentrated half hour-ish daily doing five minutes of things. Today we read a poem and talked about it, read an Aesop fable, read and practices a lesson on etiquette, sang a song, practiced scripture memory aloud. All are together and all are short. One day has picture study in here.
The rest of the day is free for exploring their own interests or practicing an instrument.
I don’t know what else to suggest other than taking time for character training (focus on things like cheerfulness, work, and not murmuring). Get that scripture time in as a group first thing. Develop family phrases for character issues (or scripture verses). For example, we’ve been working on patience the last few weeks so often someone is reciting: I can be patient. Patience means not getting mad when something takes a long time. If you have patience you will keep working and not quit. We’ve used it many places, including at the zoo as we waited in lines to touch animals or had to wait for sibilings in the restroom. We use it at home a LOT and the kids love that they can even catch mommy needing to be patient and I have to say the phrase. 😉 The words “In our family” can be powerful. “In our family we work cheerfully” “In our family we do our work first so we can play later” Things like that become a powerful motivator as they realize it’s a family thing, not just you picking on them when you tell them it’s time to do school work.
Praying you find what works for you. We don’t do everything Charlotte said to do and that’s okay. We make it work so mommy stays sane.
And just so you know, I’ve been guilty of yelling before too. I still do some days. I’m a work in progress, and my kids know it.
((((((suzikimom)))))) It sounds to me as if you could use a hug. 🙂
I have 2 kids who I have already graduated from home ed (and a couple preschoolers getting ready to start). I came across CM rather late in our school journey and before that I tried just about everything out there. Unit studies, text books, etc. even unschooling. Over the years I began to realize it isn’t so much about finding the perfect method, or perfect curriculum- there is no method or currulum that will fix the attitudes and relationships.
If you want advice mine would be this: take some time and enjoy your kids. Go to the park, get outside and play with them, go to the zoo, play board games, bake cookies and let the stress of *getting stuff done* go and enjoy your little people. If you are like me, soon you will blink and realize they are all grown up while you were trying to sort laundry and get in one more math lesson. While you are taking a break from school use the time to REALLY work on a couple habits that you think will help when you go back to schooling. I like to work on one habit at a time for myself too, so maybe obedience for them and only asking once before giving a consequence for you? I would also really talk to your kids an let them know *why* you are doing things differently.
Then, once you have had time to enjoy your kids and get everyone de-stressed just add in one subject at a time. Remind them they need to be part of keeping school and life fun. Keep it simple.
If you are still struggling after all this then get an evaluation for your son; does he have a learning challenge that is making writing hard for him, or is some other reason for him to object? Find out and problem solve so you can move on on a way that works for everyone.
And finally, why CM and not some other way? Because CM makes sense, is the most simple, natural method; it nourishes relationships, meets the child right where they are, and helps the child form their own relationships with all the greatest ideas, arts and acheievments of western civilizations.
I hope you feel better soon.
Suzukimom, I think AO would be very difficult with more than 1 kid. I know that other moms do it and it works just fine for them, but for our family it would never work. Maybe it is the AO that is not working for you? My kids love to read and don’t balk at “hard” books, but a couple of them have not enjoyed one single book that I have given them to read from AO. I’m not sure why, but they just did not like them. SCM is so much more relaxed, do-able, and mom-friendly in my opinion.
As Tristan said, to have multiple levels going on at all times is a huge source of stress. I would NEVER have my kids doing different history or science. I gear mine towards the older kids usually and let the littler kids pick up what they can. This may not work for us forever, but it does right now. I always have to remind myself that all the great stuff Charlotte Mason encourages us to do was done in a classroom of kids all on the same level. The teachers weren’t cooking lunch, doing laundry, cleaning the house, and discipling their children at the same time. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t do every single Charlotte Mason thing. (I’m sure you already know this, but sometimes a reminder is good.) Any curriculum, whether CM or something else, is going to be difficult with a houseful of different aged kids.
We do a lot of the same things that Tristan recommended, so I won’t repeat those.
You know, it looks like your kids are pretty young. I have been doing this for 14 years and I have come to the conclusion that we stress over “school” WAY TOO MUCH when the kids are young. While I do have my younger kids do all the subjects, I consider everything before about 7th grade as simply putting the pegs in place on which we will hang things later. I don’t worry if my 8 year old doesn’t get the flow of history and only remembers the interesting personalities, for example. Those interesting personalities will be the hook that grabs her as she reads her histories later in middle or high school. Until about middle school, the only subjects I feel that they MUST have are reading, writing, and arithmetic. These three things will give them the tools that they need to become a lifelong, independent learner as they age.
One more thing… my youngest is now 4 years old. I can’t tell you what a difference it makes when you have no more toddlers or babies. I don’t mean that in a negative way. I simply mean that I now realize, as I am coming out of that season, how all consuming young children are. I am starting to feel like my old self again – you know, actually able to complete a thought once in a while, actually able to read a book of my own choosing, able to work on something for an hour with relatively few interruptions. As cliche as it sounds, this really is a season in your life and it can be a difficult one. But this too shall pass.
If you decide CM is not for you, you are not a traitor or less of an educator or anything negative. You should find what works for your family and run with it. Relax, take a deep breath, remember why you are doing what you are doing, and if you find the secret to not yelling at your kids, let the rest of us know about it. I think it is something that all of us are guilty of from time to time.
suzukimom, you have been such an encouragement of CM methods and homeschooling in general to me , and so many others. I remember you mentioning that you were in the hospital recently, and wanted to say that for you, it may be a season where school needs to be lighter on your part while you get back all your energy. Sickness drains so much out of us, I remember having the flu a few times in past years, and not feeling 100% for weeks afterward….your body has been through alot more than a flu virus. So please, don’t give up, maybe just slow down instead.
Another thing, when I first decided to homeschool, I wanted to do CM 100%, but have had to modify quite a bit to meet the needs of where I and my children are today (not where Charlotte Mason and her students were 100+ years ago). Don’t take that the wrong way for those that follow CM exactly as she did, as I HIGHLY respect Charlotte Mason and her methods. I originally wanted to do AO, but the thought of having children in different years for history, science, and literature overwhelmed me. I had other hesitations as well, which led me to look more at SCM. Not that I’m trying to say SCM should be the answer for you (and even though I love the simplicity of SCM, I have that modified quite a bit as well).
I would encourage you to use the aspects of CM that are working, and seek the Lord for where to go from there. I would think being able to keep your dc on the same schedule for history and science would be easier. Also, possibly some literature that would be good for your 2 oldest to study together. I know this will not be as challenging for your dc as following AO in their appropriate years, but it may just be a seasonal change while you are able to focus on attention and habits for your ds especially. Most of all, I want you to get the rest you need, like on the airplane they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and your child second.
You don’t need to give up Charlotte Mason completely. If you read the cm books you will see that CM is a way of life even more than just home schooling. I work part time and we do Church, Awana, swimming, 4h and co-op so there is no way I can plan home school stuff myself. Maybe you can look into a Charlotte Mason friendly box curriculum (like MFW or HD). For our family that was the only way I could do CM and still do everything else. There are lots of different ways you can use Charlotte Mason’s theories so you don’t need to give those up to still be a cm family.
Sorry you’re struggling. I know you’ve been through a rough season. I only have 2 kids, but my day is more peaceful the more they do independently (just us….I know others, esp. w/more kids, like more together work). But AO didn’t work for us….too much. Could you maybe do SCM in an AO-style way? The SCM Handbooks really are wonderfully simple. My time involvement is minimal and planned out for me, and I have the kids read a lot on their own. They read lit. on their own…many AO selections, actually, but I just have a list for them and they simply read 30 min. and grab the next book on the list when done. Maybe put a hold on all the CM extras like composers, artists, etc. for a season until the rest is going more smoothly? You could just pick one composer for the whole year and play their music occasionally, etc.
And I must say I also love the ease of Math-U-See. My math time w/my kids is minimal. I watch the dvd of new concept w/them and help them w/the first few problems. Then they’re pretty much on their own for the next 4 days or so.
And I have to agree that it WILL GET EASIER when they get older. My kids are now 10 and 13 and do most of the house cleaning and the majority of their school work independently. I enjoy doing one-on-work w/them and guiding them, but it’s sure nice to get up in the mornings and have them doing their own thing the first couple hours:)
Please give yourself permission to rest after your hospital stay. Your kids are still young and will be fine. I’d just focus on the 3R’s if needed, and not worry about it….they have plenty of time! Blessings, Gina
Ok – I’m going to preface this response by noting that I am in such a negative head space right now that it is hard to be positive about anything – so ifit sounds like I’m being very negative about answers – I’m honestly not trying to be…. please don’t stop sending suggestions etc.
We tried doing school as a family last year. Almost all the subjects were together (as the kids placed at the same level in math… and my oldest kids were in grades 1 and 3 – so pretty much all the books were the same.) It just caused problems. My son felt dumb because his little sister was doing the same stuff as him (and in a few things better… although in a few not so well.) But the main problem was with my health – if I wasn’t feeling well enough to do school – nothing got done. Yes we were doing a CM program that wasn’t well suited for us (too much expected, in my opinion) – but even when we switched to SCM for history and cut out science and still…… (btw – we didn’t like Famous Men of Greece… sigh)
I have to say – the problem is me. not the kids. I know that. They probably don’t know that though. I try to instill habits in them, and then end up giving up because we aren’t getting anywhere. I have tried doing habit training the way I understood it (probably wrong…) and I’ve given up. We have worked on a few simple habits for 7 or so years… closing the door… making their bed… putting their dish in the dishwasher. And whatever. They don’t do it most of the time, and I’ve given in to yelling after them “Close the doors!” I gave up on the beds because I can’t go upstairs and check my son’s bed (too hard to climb the stairs) and it isn’t fair. I work on having them tidy their rooms – and forget it. Periodically I go in and clean it so they can start at a position that isn’t “impossible” – taking out most of the toys – and it still ends up a mess in a couple of days. They sneak the toys out from where they got put (over time) – and we have boxes of toys they haven’t had for a while. (and my kids really never had a lot of toys – honest.) I culled out the clothes – yet we still have clothes all over the girls room (3 girls) no matter what. And I give up. I can’t follow all 4 of them around. Crayons and Legos all over the place. I admit it – methods I’ve used for discipline and for habits haven’t worked – so now I’ve defaulted to yelling. It doesn’t work. Doesn’t make me feel better. Doesn’t do anything good for out relationships (and a lot bad) – but that is all that is left in me.
Everything is such an expenditure of effort for me now… we used to take nature walks – but I can’t walk far anymore. That leaves out so many other options, zoo, etc. My kids go out and play – I can’t go with them – they come in muddy and I’m upset because of it. Yes – they are washable – but it is my energy and my effort. This sounds horrible – but it is so hard to enjoy my kids because of the energy expenditure. Isn’t that horrible to say?
My 2yo won’t go to bed (crib) for bed or a nap anymore – will cry/scream for hours that she wants me. I assume it is because of the stay in the hospital I had… – She will eventually be ok (I have either let her cry it out (makes me feel more like a monster) or I end up holding her until she falls asleep (makes me feel that I am re-inforcing the behaviour).
Well – now that I’ve announced how big of a monster mom I am….
Except for the bit about Understood Betsy today – the kids have actually done quite well with school the last few days – it is ME that is feeling all messed up. But I know they are feeling it.
Ok – I hate cutting back more because I feel like I keep cutting and cutting…. But I think I am going to go with the 4R’s and a D (4th being religion, D being Drawing)
Delta and Echo together with me – Math (RS Level C)
Delta
– Religion – the Book of Mormon study he just started and Scripture Mastery with the family
– Reading at least (15 min?) – vary it from day to day… he is enjoying Our Island Story (with audiobook) – so that one day; A Science Book 1 day; his choice the other 3 days (with my approval)…but must either be something he can read on his own, or with an audiobook available.
– Writing – copywork – and possibly start studied dictation
– Drawing – Drawing Textbook exercises done on his own…
Echo
– Religion – Book of Mormon stories (“video”)
– Reading at least (10 min?) – vary it from day to day?… 1 day reading “More New Friends” to me… 1 day something easy she selects… other days something “Little House in the Big Woods” on audiobook?
– Writing – copywork
– Drawing – select something from Draw Write Now to draw….?
Maybe this is doable for now?
Oh – and “homemaking skills”…..
And I think I need to reread Tristan’s blog post(s?) on family training….
I think you definitely need to take a break from the books like someone else said. Bless your heart!!!
I do school mostly like Tristan, though she inspires me!!! I have 6 DC, 5 in school ages 14 in a few days, 12, 10, 7, 6 and 2. I am in my 4th year of homeschooling, and in that time we’ve added 3 children to our family at ages 10, 5 and 2. YES, CRAZY times pretty much sums it up around here. But it is our life and our normal.
With that said, on the beds, I found a great solution. I know it won’t teach them how to make a great bed with comforters and blankets and top sheets, BUT I am sane and they are learning. What is do is this: I have the fitted sheet on each of their beds. I do NOT have the flat sheet or a fancy or cutesy comforter. Instead, they have a blanket or two. They all like the soft, polar fleece ones so most have those. They are asked and expected to put their pillow back in the middle of their bed at the head of it and to fold up their blanket(s). Even my 7YO DS and 6YO DD do this and have been for quite awhile.
Also, it helps me greatly in laundry on the beds. Our 3 oldest children do their own laundry including their bedsheets, but we have a total of 7 beds including the crib.
On the habit training, please don’t beat yourself up. I have one in particular with special needs and he is just not trainable in the sense that many speak of. It sounds good in theory but he is very defiant and has instant tantrums. We have to parent him differently, but he does have expected chores each day and they are done. Consequences don’t work for him. If we used them, he would never leave his room. We’ve tried it; doesn’t work.
So, on that note, I’ll just say don’t compare to anyone else and know that you may have a strong-willed child or two or one with another underlying cause. That is all I’ll say on the open board, but please don’t beat yourself up!
On the reading aloud from same book, we do this and I will sometimes have them narrate to me individually so there is no comparison. Maybe they could narrate in pictures? Or orally but not all in front of each other?
{{{HUGS}}}
It just feels silly to say that we need a break from the books when we have been off school for 3 months…..
Their bed is the bottom sheet (most now have clips so that stays on or they will take them off!) the pillow, and a blanket. They all know how to make them….
And yes – the school together problem was mostly the nothing happening when I wasn’t feeling well. My son feeling dumb was an extra issue. It wasn’t even so much the narrations (he has improved so much on those!) but the knowing that they were doing the same thing….
You know my life has been crazy the last while since Mason’s birth and surgeries. As hard as it is to accept that our whole life changed and our schedule now includes multiple doctors and specialist visits, lots of physical and other therapy, hopsitals and tests, surgeries, and so on, this is the path God set before us. I have had to be so flexible and trust that the lessons God is teaching us through real life are worth more than the lesson plans we miss on our many interruptions. The comfortable, in control feeling I had with my plans and schedules had to be surrendered the moment we learned Mason was coming. It’s a refining process and it’s not comfortable. Especially if I take my eyes off the path God put us on to look around at everyone else’s path. We’re not doing the same things, we’re not able to. It’s just different, and that is okay.
You’ve been given a similar change – it doesn’t make it easy to accept, or to trust the process. It’s okay that your homeschool doesn’t look like everyone else’s, and that it doesn’t look the same as it did 6 months or 3 years ago. ((HUGS))
suzukimom…hugs to you…don’t ever feel bad because a certain “method” doesn’t work for you or your children.
I have found over the years that using CM exclusively is just not our thing. I love the idea of it, but my kids just didn’t jive with it. They actually like textbooks for a lot of subjects…and you know what, textbooks are really pretty decent now. There are a few stinkers we’ve had to pass over, but for the most part we’ve had great success using textbooks. We use “real” literature for literature and do nature study and artist study. But for science, we love textbooks and history, too. My kids (me too) love the orderliness of a good history textbook. And of course math is a textbook.
We try to match our Literature with our history textbook order…this year my ds15 is doing a world history overview. We have chosen books for different time frames…right now he is reading The Epic of Gilgamesh to go with the ancients. Next year, he will do US History…we will read Literature that coincides with the chronology of US History…it’s all good.
Do what you can from CM and do the rest from suzukimom…
It has taken me many years to realize there is no wrong way to do this…nor is there a right way…
Robin
Suzukimom, please don’t worry about sounding negative. I haven’t been keeping up with the board and didn’t realize you had the surgery and health issues and all that going on. Of course it is hard for you to enjoy anything, let alone your kids with all that going on! I have had some pretty significant health issues myself over the years, and so have my 2 older sons, so I can empathize with those kinds of challenges. At various times I have hired a teen to come in and play with my littles, or help me catch up with basic laundry, etc. Other times I have had a cleaning service come every 2 or 4 weeks to do the big stuff so I had less on my plate. We couldn’t afford it, but it was a sanity saver. When I start having trouble physically we just know we have to get through the season. What Tristan said about being content with the season God has us in is one of the things that I find so difficult, yet key to living the life He has for me. Take some deep breaths and hopefully you can find a way to get some space for yourself to heal.
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