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Do you wake your kids in the morning?
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Our kids usually go to bed around 8:00 each night, and wake up around 7:00/7:30. I have been doing some devotions/character study with them before we start school, but my husband just suggested that we all meet together before he leaves for work (which I am thrilled about!). I would have to wake them at 6:30 to do that, though.
Family Bible study is very important to us, and we can’t do it at night because my husband either has class or homework every night until after the girls are in bed. They are ages 2, 4, 5, 7, and 8.
So my question is, do you think it will hurt them in some way developmentally if I don’t let them get the sleep they need? It seems like a silly question, I’m just wondering what experience or knowledge you have to share on this:) thanks!
We do not wake our children in the mornings, but I think you should prayerfully consider what is best for your family. If you are all rising early to spend time together with the Lord, I think you can be confident He will bless and protect you and your children. If you see them struggling, maybe you could try putting them to be a bit earlier? My boys, 4 and 8, crash at 7:30. The baby is asleep even earlier, but I probably wouldn’t wake her anyway. Our oldest (10), would probably be the one to struggle most with getting up earlier, but her bedtime is at 8:30 and could easily be moved to 8:00. Just thinking through what I would do if I were in your situation. 🙂
I don’t like to wake my kids up but I will if they are oversleeping because it will throw their schedule off. It is best (according to sleep experts) to get enough sleep and to stay on a regular sleeping/waking cycle. Can you put them to bed a bit earlier? Maybe move back their bedtime little by little an get them up earlier little by little for them to adjust?
My kids your age are in bed at 7pm for anyone under 5, 7:30 for anyone under 8 and the rule here is up till 8(pm) when you are 8yrs. My kids are to set their alarms and expected to be up by 6:50 and on the couch for devotions at 7am. I agree with everyone else though you need to do what works best for your family. If you are in God’s word how can you go wrong!
If our kids haven’t gotten up by the time breakfast is ready (usually around 7:30 or so), I get them up. It’s important to us to eat breakfast together as a family – we do Scripture memory and hymns at the table too. This generally only applies to my oldest (7), however, as the two little ones are nearly always up before that (4 and 2). I don’t expect that they do any of their chores or anything before breakfast, however…we eat first and then do the rest after whichever one of us has class in the morning is off (dh and I have been in language school this year). I value that bit of quiet in the morning to get them up any earlier than breakfast time. =) I’d say give it a try and adjust their bedtimes back a little bit if you find there is a problem with them being too sleepy during the day.
Jen
I think from a sleep/development standpoint you want to make sure that you don’t end up with chronically sleep deprived kids because it does make it harder for them to function and learn. If you can get them to sleep earlier so their cummulative sleep is the same, it would probably be ok, but if they are sleeping even 1 hour less every night, there could see potential for problems. I would check out the book ‘Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child’ for more info on this issue.
I read one lady who started putting her kids to bed earlier by 15 minutes until they were waking up on their own when she wanted. She altered their wake up time by several hours. For us night time is more important than morning right now as a family because my husband does not want to do more than shower and leave in the morning! (oh well!)
I have to agree with Eawerner 100%. Sleep is so very important to behavior and learning. Children need different amounts…and you definitely don’t want to cut short the amount their body is telling them they need!
We don’t wake our children and never have (unless it’s for a special, early-morning event or something). I notice a huge difference in my children when they don’t get enough sleep–even though they’re 7 and 8. I always have. It is so vitally important not only to their physical growth and development but also to their mental awareness, concentration, and abilities to be able to have the opportunity for sufficient sleep. I happen to be a person who does not function well whenever I don’t have enough sleep. I have never been one of those who can just drink a pot of coffee and make it through the day. I am a GROUCH without sleep! Our children typically wake at different times in the morning, and I just allow them to do so. Ds usually wakes up between 7:45 and 8:20 while dd wakes between 8:15 and 9:00. We just adjust our day to whatever time they wake up. If that means we have breakfast a little later or school starts at 10:00 instead of 9:30, I’m ok with that because I know that we will have a good day with happy children who aren’t overly tired.
If you decide you don’t want to wake your children for this special devotion time, try having the devotion later or even at a different time daily if needed. On the evenings when your dh is home, you could have them at the dinner table or before bed. When he’s not home, maybe you could lead them at breakfast or lunch. I understand the importance of establishing a routine, but we have had many seasons when dh was hardly ever home and I had to bear the responsibility for family devotions and seasons when he was home by 5:00 every day. You just have to make it work for whatever season you’re in, and the kids will be just fine!
I would say get them up while trying to adjust their bedtimes to they begin to wake up on their own at this time.
I think it is so amazing your DH wants to lead in this. For me, I would have to follow on that. I wish my DH would do this. He tries on occasion but it is never consistent and the first time it doesn’t go well, he quits. If our children are led in Scripture, it is by me. So from my POV, I would say get them up since your DH is wanting to do this. It is not much earlier than you say they are getting up anyway.
My DH is out the door by 5:30 a.m. at the latest, so I just can’t get ours up that early but DH doesn’t want them up anyway. Maybe someday but our oldest is 14, so I don’t hold out much hope anymore for DH leading devotions. Thankfully, he is a godly example to them most of the time, and exemplifies a life lived walking in relationship with Jesus.
But anyway, my 2 cents is try it at least.
I never really answered though, do I wake up our children? No, the little ones are up by 6:30 for DS, though he knows he has to stay in his bed until 7 a.m. DDs are up by 7 a.m. most days. I am up at 5:30, so I have some time to prepare, read the Bible and hopefully just mentally be ready as well as dressed LOL!
Our older sons are up at different times b/t 7 and 8 a.m., but if you aren’t in the kitchen by 8 a.m. at our house you might not eat breakfast. 🙂 They have alarms and set them for 7:30, but sometimes they wake up w/out alarm.
My parents did a few different things when I was at home for morning devotions and the one that was waking up earlier than anyone normally woke up went over the worse (but I was a teenager then).
It’s hard to be excited about Bible study when you are half asleep.
If it’s the only time that works, I’d work on moving bed time so the kids could naturally be waking up at the right time.
@Michaela, it is wonderful that your dh is stepping up like this to lead devotions for your family, and I definitely think you should make it work as best as you can!
That said, I know that many times threads like this can leave many feeling as if their husbands are inadequate or less spiritual simply because they aren’t leading family devotions. In our family, we go through seasons. Some months we might be really consistent about having daddy-lead family devotions; and other months it simply gets put on the back burner in favor of a week-long, on-going card game or even just a busy week. I can just sense some feelings of inadequacy in many of the posts, and I wanted to nip those in the bud before the enemy starts making you all feel as if your husbands don’t measure up. (I know this can happen quickly and easily because it has happened to me!)
Family devotions, while very important and worthwhile, are not and should not be the defining characteristic of a spiritual leader. Just as our salvation is not by works but by grace (Eph. 2:8-10) so our husbands’ depth of spiritual leadership should not be measured solely by whether they are taking 15 minutes out of their day to read the Bible and pray with the family. Please don’t misunderstand me here; I AM NOT suggesting that family devotions or prayer should be left out! All I am hoping to convey in my message is that if your husband takes the reins and decides to lead the family in daily devotions, that is awesome and commendable! BUT, if they DON’T, don’t compare your husband or your family to someone else’s just because our “Christian standard” has elevated the devotion-leading husband.
My husband is a pastor and is not always consistent about leading our family in devotions. Does this make him less of a spiritual leader than Michaela’s husband or LDIMom’s husband? Not in my opinion. My dh does many other things that qualify him as an excellent Christian authority in our home. He exceeds me in patience, grace, and understanding with our children–modeling our Heavenly Father in earthly form to them. He is the one who tucks our children in each night and prays with them. Behind the scenes, I know he is in constant prayer for me, making him a spiritual covering that I desire to respect and honor. He leads by example in action and speech, even if he goes through seasons when he isn’t actually leading us in a formal devotion time.
In reading some of your posts, I simply saw where the enemy might be trying to plant seeds of discontent or inadequacy. I’ve been there and done that, and it’s never good for my family, my marriage, or my relationship with God. No matter where our husbands are at spiritually, we as women have our own journeys with Christ to walk. We will stumble in our own journeys if we are constantly trying to navigate theirs for them. And, we mommas go through seasons as well. We don’t always have the time or desire to want to be in God’s Word daily, and we frequently beat ourselves up about it. It’s easy to become legalistic with the “Christian world’s” definition of what our walks with Christ should look like, when really God’s opinion of us–unconditional love no matter how much time we spend with Him–is all that matters. I wrote a blog about this for us moms a couple of years ago, and I hope you’ll read it and it ministers to you.
So yes, I know this has nothing to do with waking kids up in the morning. And, Michaela, please know that what your husband is wanting to do is admirable and wonderful. I just didn’t want anyone else who may have posted (or not) to start becoming discontent with the spiritual workings in their own homes just because your husband has this desire and their husband might not.
With love,
Lindsey
I wake children. With 7 young ones we have to have some routines. Wake up is 7am. Breakfast happens at a specific time (7:30am)and only lasts 30 minutes, then the kitchen is closed. There is no free for all on food (fixing what you want when you want). Meals are done as a family. We do scriptures/devotional at the breakfast table. Everyone has a wake up time and if you need more sleep you go to bed earlier or sleep during our daily quiet time. My children range between waking on their own at 6am to one who would stay in bed until 10am or later (no joke). Chores and school hours happen at specific times as well. Afternoons are free after quiet time.
I do NOT wake a baby until they are a year old. They are the only exception to wake up time.
I wake up without an alarm clock between 5am and 6am even when I’m up several times a night with little ones (which has been daily life for more than 7 years now).
Every family is different. I can see how making breakfast at different times for each person in the family can work in a small family, or in a familythat does not do meals anddevotionals together.
Oh, and my husband leaves for work between 2AM and 5AM for work daily so he’s not home to participate or help in morning stuff. We do a second family scripture study and devotional with him in the evening.
Just to clarify, no matter what time a child or adult wakes up in our home, we do still prepare, share, and clean up meals as a family. There is no free-for-all eating in our home either. If one child wakes at 7:45 and the other one wakes at 8:30, the one who woke first must wait for the other child to be ready for breakfast. They can use this free time for their own personal devotions, making their bed, or reading, but we all cook and eat together, praying together before the meal to begin our day. I do not set an alarm for myself, but I usually wake up on my own between 7:30 and 8:00. The children have been trained to begin their day whether I am up or not and can accomplish their devotions, making their bed, getting dressed, and even starting breakfast on their own when needed.
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